The King Centaur....

Series Finale: Men, Women & Relationships – An Objective Approach towards the battle between the sexes.

2009-06-17T22:05:00.003+05:30

It’s been several light years since I last blogged. Trust me; I am going nuts at work. Projects and Deliverables keeps coming two after two, and its really a miracle that I managed to survive. I hit the mud with the last post. The audience to who I wrote did not stumble across. Though it is bugging, life has to go on.

Now, to the issue at hand: The final part series of the battle between the sexes. Now, I have come across various articles about the battle and decided to add them here along with my own thoughts. I hope you all enjoy this series. It can be quite log, so feel free to fluff your pillows once a while and do drop in your comments. I also understand that I have hyped up the title as Series Finale. Nevertheless, it took so much research and so much time to put my thoughts together to arrive at this. So I think its acceptable.

As usual, statutory warning:

Most importantly, this post contains words and phrases which are not suitable for children. If you are less than 18 years old, please don’t read this post.

All feminists and extreme feminists, please keep away from this post. The author will not be held responsible for any statements he makes here. So go sod off. In this post, I am going to continue talking about relationships. The problem each couple faces when in a relationship. I am about to share my experience with all of you about what I learnt.

The other day, I was trying to put my thoughts together on the battle when I received this mail from one of my friends. Thought I d share this with all of you.

Here's a prime example of the battle between the sexes offered by an English professor at an American University. In-class Assignment for Wednesday: "Today we will experiment with a new form called tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story and email it your partner and copy me in that mail. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on email. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

STORY:
Rebecca: At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him, too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
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Carl: Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
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Rebecca: He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped it’s pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth - when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
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Carl: Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
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Rebecca: This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
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Carl: Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING TEA??? Oh no I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Mills & Boon novels."
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Rebecca: Asshole.
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Carl: Bitch.
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Rebecca: Fuck you – You Neanderthal!
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Carl: Go drink some tea – Slutty Whore
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Professor: A + ……….. I really liked this one.
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I found that really funny. The way men and women think so differently from one another. The difference is so shocking that it does amuse you.

Pros and Cons of Being a Man or Woman

Now you need to keep in mind that while there are exceptions to the pros and cons that are linked with being a man or a woman, stereotypes generally spring from a version of reality and are believed to exist for a reason. And it is based on these stereotypes that certain expectations are put on all persons, whether rightly or wrongly, in accordance with their gender. Considering this, experts have now come up with a list of pros and cons of being a man or a woman, reports The Dominion Post.

The list is as under:

Pros of being a woman

1. Better legs. Women have really sexy legs and a man can never get over it.

2. After divorce, women hold up much better than most men.

3. Women can get away with crying.

4. Much more interesting clothing and accessory options. A woman can wear a saree as well as trousers, shirts and suites.

5. Women can multi-task.

6. Women have higher pain thresholds.

Cons of being a woman

1. Getting paid 20 per cent less than men on average to do the same job. (This scenario is now changing)

2. Expectation that they'll be manicured, primped and preened to a high degree at all times.

3. Menstruation.

4. Child birth.

5. When men gossip it's "networking", when women talk it's "bitching".

6. Pressure to have children thanks to a ticking biological clock.

Pros of being a man

1. Men can take a leak anywhere they like.

2. Men's bodies don't give them weird mood swings.

3. Men generally get more social respect, and people often think them to be more intelligent than they really are.

4. Uncomplicated friendships.

Cons of being a man

1. Facial hair and its constant upkeep.

2. Expected to be manly. Those who are not spend their lives apologizing for it.

3. Not allowed to enjoy romantic comedies.

4. Men are expected to make the first move on dates, propose to their partners and make all the big decisions.

6. Lower pain thresholds. (ANI)

Here is another hilarious one by the techies:

Dear Tech Support:

Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as Dinner Dancing 7.5, Cruise Ship 2.3, and Opera Night 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as Poker Night 1.3, Saturday Football 5.0, Golf 2.4 and Clutter Everywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run House Cleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all-purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!

Sincerely,

XXX

Dear XXX:

This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.

Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.

Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with Heart Break 1.3.

I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system. Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.

Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command

"C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".

Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a

C:\ I APOLOGIZE

command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 or worse yet, to Beer 6.0.

Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create Fat Belly files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!

Just remember! The system will run smoothly and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as Fix Broken Things 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and Best Friend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother In Law 1.0. This is not a supported application and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until Mother In Law 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

Tech Support.

Now, let’s go to few findings about certain important things in life, and how men and women react or enact these.

Relationships:
First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as "that time when me and her was doing it on a semi-regular basis". When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas, these classes rarely prove effective.

Sex:
Women prefer 30 - 45 minutes of foreplay.

Men prefer 30 - 45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

Maturity:
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults.

Most 17-year-old males are still trading cricket cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.

Hats:
Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.

Handwriting:
To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch.

Women use scented, colored stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

Bathrooms:
A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Magazines:
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies.

Women's magazine also feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.

Groceries:
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.

A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good.

Going out:
When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out.

When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup...

Shoes:
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She wil carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk.

A man will wear one pair of shoes for the entire day, probably for the same one for nearly a year.

Leg warmers:
Leg warmers are sexy. A woman, even if she's walking the dog or doing the dishes, is allowed to wear leg warmers. She can wear them any time she wants.

A man can only wear leg warmers if he is auditioning for the role of a woman.

Cats:
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Mirrors:
Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror.

Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface--mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Their husband’s bald head.

Garages:
Women use garages to park their cars and to store their lawnmowers.

Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, and they watch TV in garages, and they build useless lopsided benches in garages.

Movies:
For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind".

For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face in "Public Enemy".

Jewelry:
Women look nice when they wear jewelry.

A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

Menopause:
When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual.

Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction--he buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap and leather driving gloves, and goes shopping for a SUV.

The Telephone:
Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.

A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

Low Blows:
Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on television. One of the fighters is felled by a low blow. The woman says "Oh, gee, that must hurt." The man doubles over and actually feels pain.

Directions:
If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.

Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. Men will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there", and, "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize that White Hen store".

Admitting Mistakes:
Women will sometimes admit making a mistake. Men don’t.

Richard Gere:
Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.

Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works at the health club and dates only married women.

Offspring:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Dressing up:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.

A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

Nudity in Movies:
Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the history of movies has been produced by a man. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.

David Letterman:
Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the Earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.

Cameras:
Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out 14,000 for state-of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms, and take photography classes.

Women purchase Kodak Instamatics. Of course, women always end up taking better pictures.

Politics:
Men love to talk politics, but often they forget to do political things such as voting.

Women are very happy that another generation of the “Gandhi” family is growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able to campaign for them and cry on election night.

Locker Rooms:
In the locker room, men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.

Women talk about one thing in the locker room--sex. And not in abstract terms, either. They are extremely graphic and technical, and THEY NEVER LIE.

Laundry:
Women do laundry every couple of days.

A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do the laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth.

Weddings:
When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party".

Cheerleaders:
Female cheerleaders are cute, sexy, fresh, and all-American. Male cheerleaders are scary.

Socks:
Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweat socks.

Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back.

Toys:
Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession wih toys. As they older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve cocktails on command, video games, anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six "D" batteries to operate.

Plants:
A woman asks a man to water her plants while she is on vacation.

The man waters the plants. The woman comes home five days later, to an apartment full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.

Nicknames:
If Jane, Preeti, Rupini, Dolly and Prathi get together for lunch, they will call each other Jane, Preeti, Rupini, Dolly and Prathi.

But if Sathiya, Vijay, Parthasarathy, Jagan, Vinoth and Muthu go out for dinner, they will affectionately refer to each other as Gundus, Dhadiya, PP, Iyeru, Onan and Item.

The matter is that we have absolutely different ideas about dialogue and expectations from conversation.

- Men expect information, women - emotional support.

- Men talk to be listened and explode without powder, if we cut them short with leading questions all the time.

- Women talk to be listened and supported. To be asked important questions full of sense (like “And he? And you?”). And to see one’s interest in their problems. As a wise proverb says: “If a woman asks advice, she just has nobody to unburden her heart to”

- Men are dumbfounded with a phrase: “We need to talk about our relations”. They can much easier bear ventilating of some concrete problem.

- Men don’t like asking, as they think it’s a demonstration of disrespect for an interlocutor’s independence;
women treat this as a cold indifference to their problems.

The battle at Workplace

Workplaces are always tricky to navigate, even more so because of sensitivities that should be common sense, but aren't always.

Typical Complaints Women Have About Men

Addressing women as "girls," "gals," "honey," "baby young," "lady," "darlin'"
A lot of women don't want to be called "ladies" at work
Making women into objects... "I have a car, a boat, a dog, and a wife."
Using expressions that only use sports, violence or sexual connotations... "We murdered the competition" or "More bang for the buck"
Making decisions about work with each other and not including women. Then telling women, "Last night we got together and decided..."

Typical Complaints Men Have About Women

Not getting down to business soon enough
Taking things too seriously
Trying to be "one of the boys" (Using profanity, telling sexist jokes, etc.)

Gender Communication Tip Sheet

Women:

Share experiences to show commonality
Build off of each other’s discussion points
Want to talk about the problem and solve it collaboratively
Emphasis on feelings and communications
Processing is a way to include others and build relationships.
Offer help and advice as a sign of caring

Men:

Focus on statistics
Relate by sharing stories to one up each other
Move to solutions and problem solving right away
Value placed on ability to achieve results
To ask for help reflects an inability to achieve on one’s own merit.

Strategies:

1. Women, get to bottom line quickly and succinctly. Men, understand that when women tell a story, they are building common ground with you.

2. Women, don't try to get men to talk if they're not ready. Observe and listen rather than process out loud. Men, understand that processing is a way for women to include others and build relationships.

3. Women, understand that offering help may be inferred as a lack of trust in another's ability. Don't be so quick to offer advice. Men, ask what you can do to help. It may be an opportunity to show support and caring.

Unspoken Communication:

So folks. Here we are at the end. What are your thoughts? You can help me conclude! Spill your thoughts…

The Quintessential Change

2009-05-27T22:47:00.005+05:30

Hi Guys,

As usual, Statuary Warning:

This blog portrays the current state f my mind. I have gone nuts and if you are looking for an interesting read, you might want to read my other posts or some other blog. I will be back shortly with the Second part of Men, Women and Relationships very soon! Thank you for your patience.

It’s so long since I made my visit on my blogs. I have been quite held up with so many things at my office. First, my year end appraisals pose a great threat. Last year, I have actually performed well last year. However, by the middle of this fiscal year, I had shifted two different teams, and got myself jacked at both teams. However, I continue to enjoy what I am doing, so makes a little difference when it comes to work. So, quite a lot!

My last visit to Chennai, reiterated a lot of things, which I had been dreading. I saw a lot of changes happening everywhere, my family, friends & the city itself. My most memorable time was when I spent a couple of hours with one of my juniors in my MBA. She is a very endearing girl, who I really love as my kid. I don’t know what I do without her. She is and always had been special me. However I still spent some time talking to her in a nearby coffee shop.

The part which I was dreading is my nutty gang. I just see that things are changing from my end. I feel so different. It’s like I am not in the same sync in which I was with them. That is now scaring me a lot. For over a month, I have not been talking to them over phone, which I usually do. Am I losing them voluntarily? I don’t know. Do I want to lose them? Definitely no! Do they want to lose me? I don’t have an answer to that question. The penultimate time I was in Chennai, I could not meet them at the time they asked me to, because I was stuck up with a sudden hitch. May be they are upset with me. I don’t know what to tell them.

When I don't like something, I change it; if I can't change it, I change the way I think about it. All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. I know.. Too Philosophical? That happens to me all the time!

The thing is, without accepting the fact that everything changes, I cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for me to accept it. Because of the fact I cannot accept the truth of transience, I suffer.

Now I know that few of my statements will get a mixed response. Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. An inner voice in my head keeps saying “Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed” I keep responding “what does different mean? It means it’s not the same! It means something has changed.”

In closing, I just want to say that, I know that time changes people, however it does not alter the image I have retained of them. To me things will always want to be the same. It is going to take time for me to accept it. May be I am nuts. But that’s what I am. All I ask God these days are, “God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.”

Ever Yours,

Sathiya

Men, Women & Relationships – An Objective Approach towards the battle between the sexes. Part - 1

2009-01-12T03:22:00.003+05:30

Hi all,

It’s been so long since I entered the blog world. Lots of things have been happening in my life. The first and the only significant thing being my transition to the Account Marketing team – Consumer Business Industry. I am trying to fit in to the team. I ought to manage my work also. I enjoy what I do here though.

Okay, enough about me. Now to my latest post.

As usual, Statuary Warning:

All feminists and extreme feminists, please keep away from this post. The author will not be held responsible for any statements he makes here. So go sod off your anger else where.

In this post, I am going to talk about relationships. The problem each couple faces when in a relationship. I am about to share my experience with all of you about what I learnt. I did not learn these during the time I went through all this, but did learn so when I came across a wonderful book called “Why Men Don’t listen and women can’t read maps” by Allan & Barbara Pease. A few lines have been taken from that book and I don’t own any credit for those lines. It belongs wholly to Allan & Barbara Pease. I have also taken a lot of information from Mark Gungor’s experience. No money is being made out of this and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Now, in this blog, I am looking objectively at my relationship with my partner (yeah. Okay. Ex-girl friend) and about our history, meanings and implications that affected and effected our relationship. I am not going to beat around the bush with assumptions or suppositions, politically correct terms or scientific words. If something looks like a fox, sounds like a fox, walks like a fox and if there is enough proof to warrant that it is a fox, that’s what I will call it as. Not that you guys have an option, though.

Okay.. here we go..

Defining Love

She slowly maneuvered the car on the Punjagutta fly over after a night show. She stepped in on the gas, cruising the car at 80 kmph. I was beside her, looking at her side profile. As usual, ravishing as ever, she was concentrating on the road. One and on the steering wheel and with the other she was fidgeting with her new mobile she got herself that evening. Suddenly she turned her gorgeous head and asked, “Hon, what exactly is love to you?”. I looked into her artificial blue eyes (multi color contact lenses, of course). “To me, Love means you.” “Awwwww… that’s the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Look at you, making up a load of crap for me.. so tell me really, actually, what does it mean to you??” she asked me. I grinned sheepishly at her statement. Damn these women, they are walking polygraphs. However, I did mean that! Anyways, I turned my attention to the landscape rushing on my sides.

"Love to me is a big house with many rooms. We are born into the world wanting nothing but to live in it, but with only half of what we need to build it for ourselves. So we pack our supplies and tools away inside our hearts and go into the world to find that perfect person who has what we lack. If we're really lucky, we will find the one person in this world who has the right nails for our wood, and stones for our mortar, and iron and steel for our roof beams...and only then can we begin to build the house we dreamed about. The house keeps growing large in size, and if we have built with care, trust, faithfulness and love, it becomes our home." I sighed. She was listening with rapt attention and fascination. I lost myself in my thoughts. "We then pour our whole selves into its planning and construction, and it rises to become a marvelous piece of architecture. It is constructed with days and moments, of thoughts and words and feelings. It is painted with laughter and weathered with tears. Few rooms grow dark and are shut away while others are opened to the sun’s magnificent rays.. We must tend it carefully and repair its weaknesses then and there, if we want it to keep us safe."

“Wow!” she started. “I am not done yet” I interjected. "The sad part is that, the house is never completely finished, sweetie. We can labor on it all our lives, and only hope that it remains strong and whole enough to shelter us."

She grew silent. She looked at me with those blue eyes. The same piercing stare, which meant, she is processing what I said in her brain.

Brain Drain

Brain. The Brain! Did you know that there is a difference in the structure and function of the brain between man and women? Yeah, the first time I heard it, I was stunned to! Being a biochemistry student, I was refuting it till I had my own experiences (Not dissecting a brain, but dissecting my relationship with our arguments and saw how much it made a difference!)

Lets start with my discussion between Men’s brains and women’s brain and how different they are very different from each other. Now I am going to start with the Man’s brain. It does not have much and is simple!

A perspective into the Man’s Brain

Our brain is very unique. They are made up of a large number of boxes and we have a box for everything. We have a box for our job, we have box for our money, we have a box for our parents, we also have a tiny little box in the basement for your friends too! We have got boxes everywhere!!. The main rule in our brain is that, the boxes don’t touch each other. When we discuss a particular subject, we retrieve that particular box, we open that box and discuss only what is in that particular box! When we are done, we tuck that box safely in its place, making sure, that it does not touch any other boxes.

Understanding the Woman’s brain (or at least try to)

Now a women’s brains are very very different from men’s brains. Women’s brains are made up of a big ball of wires and everything is connected to everything. The job is connected to the friends, the friends are connected to the family, the family is connected to the money and so on and so forth. It’s all driven by the unending powerful energy called emotion and that one reason why women tend to remember, everything! I l explain how. Now when you take an event and connect it to your emotion, it burns in your memory for ever.

Illustration:

Sheila and I were getting back from a party and we just had a row about she telling me to turn left when she actually meant right. Five minutes pass by and I suspect something is up. I am immediately concerned and ask her. “Hon, is everything okay?” “Yes, everything’s fine!” she answers. Now for those guys who do not know about the word fine coming from a woman, be assured that everything is not fine! Its not very fine. It’s the opposite of fine!

And the way she emphasized on “fine” will confirm that things are very far from being fine. I go deep into my “party” box in my brain and rummage out its content to find what went wrong. Now on not being to find anything, I asked her “Did I do something wrong tonight?” “I don’t want to talk about it” she snapped back. I was considering rechristening her name to camera. You know why? She snaps at me all the time!

Now, dudes, when a woman (be it your sister, mother or girl friend) says that she does not want to talk about it, it means YOU must talk about it, come what may! Else you will regret later. Trust me!

Now, I knew that she is seething with rage and she does want to talk about it and I am completely at a loss to comprehend what I have done to upset her. “Hon, please tell me. What did I do?” I plead. (Note – Guys, you better be very polite and soft in your approach to these scenarios!)

In most conversations, we tell them the truth. I simply can’t fathom the problem! “Okay then” she retorts. “ I will tell you the problem even though you are playing the stupid act!” I was horrified! “Act?, what act? I don’t genuinely have a handle on what you re rambling!” (Another mistake for which I will regret. You are wondering why? Its because of my vocabulary. You still have not got it, have you? It’s the term “ramble”!)

She takes a deep breath. “That bimbo was hanging around you all night giving you come-on signals and, and you did not get rid of her – you bloody encouraged her!”

Now I am completely dumb-folded. What bimbo? What come-on signals? For Christ sakes, I did not even go near the dance floor (Not that I go generally, cause I don’t dance!!) and I did not see anything! Guys, you see, while the “bimbo” (a women’s expression, the equivalent term what we men can call is “extremely sexy”) had been talking to me, I had not noticed that she was tilting her pelvis at me, pointing her foot at my way, flicking her hair, stroking her thigh, massaging her earlobes, giving me longer than usual glances, stroking the stem of her wine glass and talking like a school girl. (Now I do not know, how many of those things the “bimbo” did! And in the god damn first place, I never knew all these were come-on signals!) We men do not have the women’s ability to pick up the visual, vocal and body language signals that say, someone was on the make. Every other women (most unfortunately Sheila’s girl friends also) at the party saw what the “bimbo” was doing even without moving their heads, and here I was completely unaware of what she was doing and have missed it completely. Its like a telepathic “bitch alert” “bitch alert” “tuck your boy friend away from this bitch” message sent and received by all other women in the party!

So respected members of the fairer sex, when we claim that we are telling the truth about these accusations, we probably are! Our brains are not equipped to hear or see the details. In all probability, we would have been having a very civil conversation with that “bimbo” you say!

The Brain Connection

Now back to the brain discussion. As I was telling you about how women connect an event to an emotion, thereby burning it in their memory (just as my ex-girlfriend did), the same thing happens for men, but it does not happen very often, because quite frankly, we just don’t care! Women tend to care about every single thing. Its their inborn quality!

The Nothing Box

Now we have a box in our brain, which most of you are not aware of. This particular box has nothing, absolutely nothing in it. As a matter of fact, I call it the “Nothing Box”. Of all the boxes in our brains, the “nothing box” is our favorite box! If we have a chance, we will go to the nothing box, every time! That’s why we men can do something seemingly, completely brain dead for hours together. And we love it.

Illustration:

I was once at her place, watching TV. She has this huge plasma LCD TV and and a digital set top box that delivers video in high quality! So I sat there, flicking the channels, with my nothing box open. Apparently, this drives her nuts and she screams at me, “Stop that! You cant possible be watching anything!” I turn to look at her, with my hand still switching channels. I have a blank expression on my face. “I am not!” I say and continue to switch channels. I turn my head, and find her staring at me with her hands in her hips. “Go away!” I cry and I get back to switching channels, and bam, we have a go at each other (ahem,… verbally, yu possibly cant expect anything sexually after that kind of expression and honestly, if you did, time to get your self checked!!)

Now, this has actually been proved by the University of Pennsylvania, which published a research about, how we men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing and can still breathe. Women can’t do this. Their minds are very hyper active and keeps on inter connecting and you cant understand the nothing box!! And above all, it drives you women crazy, because nothing can drive you lot more crazy or make you more irritated than to witness a man doing nothing!!! After I explained her about the nothing box, she is shell shocked and revelations slowly start to come in. Now look into this piece of conversation below:

She: “Can I come into the nothing box with you??”

Me: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

She: Why Not!!!

Me: Because then it becomes something!!!!!!!!! You will mess it up!

She: I wont. Let me come in and give me a chance!

Me: Okay, come on in. She walks into the place, stays quiet for few minutes as she sees nothing and then starts looking around.

She: Uhm.. This place actually needs some pictures, some furnishings, some curtains, you might want to pull that table here, put some flowers in the vase...

Me: Nooooooooo!! Thats why I did not allow you inside. Get out now!!! Go away! (Another BIG mistake for which I will have to pay through my nose)

Men Vs Women – Stress Management

Now this is connected to how men and women manage stress. Now when we are stressed out, all we want to do is, to run into our nothing box. That is how we unwind. The last thing we want to do when we are stressed out is, to talk about it.

Dudes, when a woman is stressed out, she has to talk about it! If she does not talk about it, her complicated brain will literally explode! And when they talk about it, they talk about everything, her father, brother, boss, co-worker and slowly shift to ultra sonic sound levels, that’s when, we men usually take to our heels!

Some time back, I went over to Sheila’s place on a Saturday evening and by the look on her face, I knew that she was stressed out. When she started to talk about it, I could not understand! She was saying about a deliverable, and her boss, and all of a sudden her brother and credit card dues jumped in while she was talking about her project and boss, and hey, the topic of our dinner date also crept up! And to top all that she was sounding ultra sonic. That’s when I ran for cover. Her roomie, seeing my reaction, questioned me on why I was running away, and I said that I did not know what to tell her!!! She raised her eye brows and said “Dude, the golden rule here is, you don’t need to tell your girl friend anything or try to attempt to fix anything! She is perfectly able to handle her affairs!! She just wants you to hear it out! I know this differs between you men, because when you share your problems with other men, you expect the other guys to fix it or tell you how to fix it! She does not need any fixing from you! She is not a man, and if you try to fix her, she might end up killing you! She does not want your advice nor does she want your help, and all you got to do is shut the F*** up and listen! So go put your hands around her, comfort her and listen to what she has to say with your mouth shut!”

I slowly approached her, quivering and quaking with fear…

(to be continued…)

Tagged!!

2009-01-10T23:59:00.004+05:30

1. If your Lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?

Dump her…

2. If you have one dream which could come true, it would be?

To go back in time and set few things straight!!

3. Which one do you prefer-ice-cream or chocolate?

Ice cream with chocolate sauce??

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Travel around the world?

5. Can you fall in love with your best friend?

Nah.. she would know too much about me..

6. Who is more blessed-loving someone or being loved by someone?

Loved by someone…

7. How long would you wait for someone you love?

Wait? I don’t know how long. She better come along soon!

8. If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?

To what or who?

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Educating the uneducated…

10. What takes you down fastest?

Gravity.

11. What according to you is blogger in denial?

!!!!!

12. What’s your fear?

Being broke…

13. Your opinion of the persons who tagged you with this?

Heh heh

14. Would you be single & rich or married & poor?

Single & Rich

15. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

Shut the alarm off!!

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, whom would you pick?

I d pick both ;)

17. Would you give all in a relationship?

Yeah.. Right!!!

18. What’s eating you now?

Not being able to get a job in Chennai.

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

Blissfully Single!!

20. What is your occupation?

Marketing Analyst

21. What color are your socks right now?

Black?

22. What are you listening to right now?

Songs from Rab Ne Bana De Jodi

23. What was the last thing you ate?

Podi Dosa

24. Can you drive stick shift?

What is a stick shift??

25. Last person you spoke to on the phone?

My sister.

26. Do you like the person who sent this to you?

Don’t have an option of not liking.

27. How old are you today?

21 years and 37 months

28. What is your favorite sport to watch?

Cricket.

29. What are your favorite drinks?

Black Currant Smoothie/Colada

30. Have you ever dyed your hair?

For a day.

31. Favorite Food?

Lasagna

32. What is the last movie you watched?

Ghazhini (Hindi)

33. Favorite day of the year?

My Birthday!!

34. How do you vent anger?

Walk away.

35. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Hot wheels cars and trucks

36. What is your favorite Season?

Winter

37. Do you want your friends to email you back?

Obviously…

38. When was the last time you cried?

Uhh.. Cant remember…

39. What is on the floor of your closet?

I don’t have a closet here

40. Who is the friend you have the longest you are sending to?

Srinivas

41. What did you do last night?

Was working late!!

42. Plain, Cheese or Spicy hamburger?

Cheese and Spicy…

43. Favorite dog breed?

Alsatians

44. Favorite day of the week?

Saturday

45. How many states have you lived in?

Tamil Nadu (22 years), Karnataka (3 months) and Andhra Pradesh (2 years)

46. Diamonds or Pearls?

Diamonds

47. What is your wish for the new year?

To get a job in Chennai.

48. New year resolution?

As one of my esteemed clients put it "One of the things I usually avoid doing in January every new year is making resolutions. Why? Because then I feel guilty when I break them! It is so easy to sit around and think about all the things you want to accomplish. It is significantly harder to actually do something about all those things. But, this year, I have a new plan. I am going to resolve to “continue doing things that are going well” and to “find new ways to do things that aren’t going very well”. How is that for ambiguity?

I tag-

1. Preeti Ramachandran

2. Janey Jeyakumar

3. Srinivas

4. Sowmya Akka

R.E.F.L.E.C.T.I.O.N.S. - Series 3

2008-08-04T20:19:00.007+05:30

Statutory Warning: This blog will consist of certain circumstances that may evoke strong emotional feelings. Please use your discernment before you go ahead with this part.

Also, this is going to be a lengthy blog. So fluff your pillows once in a way as you read this piece.

It was a week since I spoke to her about the letter from the University. It was our Saturday night dinner self cook dinner (where both of us are supposed to cook for the other) and after we had cooked, I had just stepped out to buy some ice cream for the dessert. When I entered, I found a beautifully lit table - candle light dinner, and I was really impressed. I looked at her, dressed in her metallic green gown, looking as magnificent as ever I was amazed at her expertise in laying the table in like 15 minutes. I smiled at her and asked, “Candle Light Dinner??” She nodded her gorgeous head, and a streak of hair fell on her face, making her look more adorable than ever. I suddenly found myself getting hot. I looked up at the fan, and then she said the three magical words, “Electricity just went”.

Anyway, I was really happy. I have only heard about candle light dinner, and for the first time I was experiencing it with this beauty in front of me. We both sat down and served ourselves the food we had cooked for each other. I had cooked Potato Mutter Gravy, with Roti and vegetable rice, and my speciality: Vermicel Kheer. She had a whole host of 10 superb, finger licking veg dishes for me. The moment she tasted the Potato mutter gravy, she smiled. I was glad that she enjoyed it. And I forced her to take some more after she finished the first serving. She again started to smile as she began to eat it. I was surprised. I knew, I can cook, but not even close to her culinary talent. So I took a piece of Puri she had made, and was about to taste the Potato mutter gravy. She immediately caught my hand and emptied everything on her plate. I was surprised. “Hey, let me taste it” I said. “No way honey, this is mine. I don’t share the food cooked by my hubby” she retorted. I was not going to give up without a fight. I looked at her intently for a minute, gazing at hr lovely eyes. She slowly left my hand and at that nano second, I immediately dipped my Puri into the Potato mutter gravy, and faster than a lightening I took my hand back, before she realized what I had done. Before she could even utter a word, I popped the Puri with a smile on my face. The next instant, my smile disappeared. The mutter was extremely salty and inordinately spicy. I started to choke and went into a coughing fit. She immediately came to me and handed me a glass of water and gently was patting my back. After few more minutes of torture, I looked at her; with tears in my eyes (due to the spicy food). Her face was so calm and composed. How had she eaten three-fourth of that with no complaint? I mean, this is not our first dinner. Yet, she ate inspite of my fiasco. I asked her, “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I liked it” she replied. “Don’t lie” I nearly screamed. “You should have not eaten that. You should have told me.” I told her in a deadly hiss. “Would you have told me, had I done the same to your food?” she asked. I looked at her fork and said “I would have”. “Don’t lie to me” she hissed back. “Last week, I forgot to add salt to the Brinjal curry and you ate it without a word” she retorted. I did not reply. I did not even know how she managed to find out. Our ground rules were that, while cooking, on no point should we taste our food. We were to leave the judgment to each other. I did not reply. I slowly went back to my Puri. We did not utter a word till we had finished dinner. As we were about to attack our dessert, the electricity was restored and the whole room was flooded with light. After we had done the dishes, I went and switched on the television and sat back in her couch. As usual, she came over and snuggled close to me. I was glad that her room-mate thankfully had gone to her native place and she was not returning for three days. We had the whole apartment to ourselves and I was already plotting on what needed to be done.

Suddenly her voice bought me back to earth. “So what happened after that?” she asked. “What happened after what?” I asked her. “After you called the Sri Lankan University” she said. I suddenly began to feel uncomfortable. I really did not like to talk about this, and yet here she was, grilling me more on the topic. I did not know what to say. I had avoided this topic for a whole week. Man, these women, I tell you, tell them a little about the secret, and they will drive you crazy till they have discovered completely about it.

I started the journey backwards. I remember replacing the receiver back on the hook. I went back to my chair and fell heavily on it. I put my head down on the table. After what seemed to be a micro second after my head hit the table, my mobile rang. It was Dr Radha. I disconnected the call. I was in no mood to talk about this. She called me again. I kept on rejecting two more times. Again, she called. I understood that this should be an emergency; else she would have not called the fourth time. I picked the call. She was hysterical. She asked me to immediately come to her clinic. Her clinic was like 10 minutes. I was about to offer an excuse, until she said, “Vani is having the attack of convulsions for the fifth time on that day” I was devastated. I knew what was going to happen. I immediately rushed to her clinic. Vani’s whole body was jerking. Her pupils were dilated and her eyes, was blood shot. I rushed to her and throwing caution to the winds, I inserted four needles on the sole of her left leg. The jerking stopped immediately. She still clutched her head and with an ear splitting scream she cried to me with that blood shot eyes to help her. Before I could even get to her head, her hands fell down from her head. Her body gave one last jerk and went limp. The ECG machine’s reading slowly went blank. We lost her. After fighting a bloody war, we lost her. Tears welled up in my eyes. I could not bear to see her. The girl was 17 years old. I quickly looked at Radha and she had squatted on the floor, crying silently. I walked out of the room. I took an auto and headed straight back home. I went into the restroom and poured a bucket of water on my head drenching me completely. I removed the soaked dress and put on dry clothes. I immediately went to bed.

The next day morning.. “Hold on a second” she interrupted. “What?” I asked her. “Who is this Vani?” Oh damn! I had not told about Vani to her. Oh my God, she is going to weasel it out of me. “You don’t want to know” I said. “I do” she whined. “It’s a terrible story. I myself can’t talk about it”. “You have to” she said in her cold voice. One thing I hate about this woman is that, she never leaves certain things to rest. She keeps on digging until she has struck water. I told her that it was a terribly, heart breaking story about this girl and I did not want to talk about it. She never gave in. Here we go again I thought.

I was preparing for my thesis, collecting information.. “I asked you, who is this Vani?” she interrupted. “Patience my lady” I said. “I m getting to it shortly” I interjected. “If you interrupt me I will not tell you anything. Mind you” I said knowing fully, that she will get the story out of me at any cost and won’t fall for my bluff. Her expression softened a little, and I proceeded further.

I was in the process of photocopying some materials, when my mobile rung. It was Dr Radha. After the formal pleasantries were exchanged, she wanted to meet me personally for lunch. I was stunned. Dr Radha and I have never met personally for lunch, other than in conventions. I agreed to meet her the following weekend.

On Saturday, when we were in our luncheon session, she slowly stated that she has a challenge for me. I was surprised. This was the not the approach which Dr Radha takes. I was contemplating on whether to accept this challenge. The thing is, I did not have time due to three reasons. One, my college mid assessment cycle was nearing, and if I did not scrape through with decent marks, my Department Head and the lecturers will chew my arse. Two, I was also made the coordinator for our in-house magazine and we were working on tight deadlines and third, my appoint book was almost full for three whole weeks, with a training in Reiki taking a whole week in between, not to mention my evening college classes. When I did tell her this, she agreed to wait till my midterm assessment was over.

Post my midterm, I agreed to meet Dr Radha at her private clinic. I reported to her clinic few minutes earlier. I saw few people sitting in the lobby. I strode directly into her consultation room, and found a lady cleaning her desk. Dr Radha was not yet present. The lady looked at me and told me very “politely” that Dr Radha was not in and I had to join the queue outside as there were 10 people waiting to see her. I then realized, I was not wearing my usual white dress or my white coat and I was amused at the situation. Chortling, I went back outside and stood near the door thinking of how much an appearance of an Doctor is important. The lady attendant asked me to sit on the chairs reserved for patients. This time I did not know what to say as the lady was giving me the coldest stare ever possible. I on the contrary have never been treated in this way at any hospital. I was in a half mind to walk away when Dr Radha entered the Clinic to my huge relief. The moment she saw me, she was shocked and looked at her watch. She was late by 10 minutes. She immediately rushed to me and shook my hands, and started to lead me to her consultation room and apologized to me profusely on the way. Finally, I was happy that my pride was restored. I strode into her room and she offered me a seat. She then called her assistant to order some tea for the both of us and while the lady assistant went to fetch the tea, I recounted to Dr Radha my experience with her assistant embarrassing her further. She immediately flushed and apologized once again. I decided to stop embarrassing her further and asked her about the nature of my challenge. That’s when the tea arrived and Dr Radha then introduced me to her assistant, who also apologized to me.

After tea, Dr Radha got up and asked me to follow her to the terrace. I was surprised on why on earth was she asking me to visit her terrace, and just as we were leaving, Dr Bhanumati, Dr Gomati & Dr Lakshmi walked in. I was surprised at the sight of all the three doctors. They all came over and we shook hands. After the exchange of greetings, Dr Lakshmi asked Radha, whether I was here to see Vani, to which Radha nodded her head. Dr Radha, Lakshmi, Gomati and myself left to the adjoining fleet of stairs while Dr Bhanumati went inside the clinic to attend to the patients inside the clinic.

As I took the last fleet of stairs, I saw a pent house which was bolted from the outside and one old lady and one man sitting outside of the pent house, which had an asbestos sheet on top. I was really surprised. Dr Gomati and Dr Lakshmi stood to one side, allowing me o follow Dr Radha into the room. The moment I walked into the room, I was stunned. It was semi dark. I could see a figure silhouetted on a bed. Dr Radha switched on the lights. I could see the back of a woman on the bed. She slowly turned. I was mistaken. It was not a woman. It was a young girl in her late twenties and her face was deeply scarred and half healed. She looked scary. The moment she saw me, she sat up straight and suddenly she stripped her loosely covered t shit and was halfway pulling her skirt down. I was too stunned to even speak! She did not have any inner garments and her body was also equally scarred, half healed with cuts, burns and bruises. I stood there rooted to the spot with my mouth opened in horror, while Dr Radha ran immediately to her and pulled up her skirt and covered her with a blanket. I turned and slowly walked outside.

I sat down on the chair that was left unoccupied and was awaiting Dr Radha to give an explanation. Dr Radha, called me a second time into the room. I did not want to enter. Dr Lakshmi who was sitting in the next chair asked me to go. I told her that I did not want to go. Dr Radha came out once again and told me that her patient was in control and asked me to come. I still did not budge from my chair. I looked at Dr Radha with a blank expression. Dr Lakshmi and Dr Gomati enquired whether I was okay. I definitely was not okay, not even close to being okay.

For the second time that day, Dr Radha led me by my hand into the room. As I entered the room, I began to shiver and chills emanated to my spine. I was suddenly scared. Really scared.

I saw that the girl had been tied to her bed with a rope and she was still looking at me with frightened eyes. Dr Radha asked me to note her pulse reading. I was still scared looking at this girl and slowly reached to wrists. Nothing prepared both Dr Radha and me on what was followed the moment I touched her wrists. The girl cried out an ear splitting scream that made my hair on hands stand by its end. I immediately withdrew my hands and took few steps back, while she rattled at the bed.

Dr Radha immediately rushed to her and hugged her tightly till she calmed down and I fled out of the room. Dr Gomati and Dr Lakshmi were looking at me with a blank expression. I sat down once again by the chair next to Dr Lakshmi and for the first time in my life I was speechless.

Dr Radha came out again with a determined look and told me that this was a challenge harder than what she had expected. It was my turn to look at her with a blank expression. The trio then got up and asked me to follow them into Dr Radha’s house.

I followed them happily, out of that place to safer and saner quarters. Dr Radha went into the house with the other three of us following her wake. I was directed into a small study room. This time, before walking in, I stopped at the door step and slowly peeked in to see whether Dr Radha had locked another mad girl inside. When the other three saw me, they started to roll down with laughter. Amongst laughter Dr Radha told me that she had no more new surprises in her house. It was my chance to be embarrassed and I walked into the room and sat myself in the nearest chair.

After their laughter had died down, I saw Dr Radha’s expression changing back to her serious form. I waited patiently till she was looking into her chest of drawers and pulled out a thick file labeled confidential. She placed it before her, and all three of them were looking at me.

I realized I had to ask the first question. “Who is she? What’s wrong with her? Is she mad?” Dr Radha smiled apologetically and told me that she would have warned me earlier, had she known that the girl would react so violently in my presence.

She then handed over me the thick file labeled confidential. I was about to ask the next question, when Dr Lakshmi started to explained, Vani (Name changed) was a girl rescued from a remote village in Tamil Nadu, near Velankanni by an NGO. She was confined for over a year. The details of the girl is available in this file.

I opened the file. The first was a police certificate, stating her name and origin. I found another letter from the NGO and a photocopy of a check amounting to Rs 2,00,000/- I looked up and asked them whether I can take the file home. Dr Radha nodded, however, she requested me to read the file now and tell her whether I can handle this case. I asked her what the case was about. She merely pointed at the file, and suggested me to read. I resigned and with a sigh and sat down to read thru the thick manuscripts.

There was a stack of papers neatly stapled together from the NGO, titled the story of the subject. According to the report, the girl was from a native village and was kidnapped by five men, who bought her to Velankanni. The girl was held in confinement for over 13 months and has been physically harassed by six lorry drivers every day.

My heart skipped a beat. I read further.

This girl was harassed four to six times every day by these lorry drivers alternatively and one guy used to be with her throughout her time there and he has always kept her without any clothes throughout the day and enjoyed her whenever he felt the need.

The six of them also enjoyed hurting her physically, burning her with “beedi” butts. They have also beaten her black and blue when she resisted and also scratched her entire body when they were harassing her. At first she was resisting their advances, however, on being subjected to this treatment, she had no strength in her.

When she stopped resisting, she was offered food twice a day and very little clothing to keep her warm during the night. Whenever any guy walked in, she used to go to a small room with a mattress and strip her night gown and lie down with her legs open. However, the men never stopped hurting her. After a month, there were a lot of new faces who used to come to “see” her. She has gotten used to it. The only thing she was unable to bear was their beatings.

Once, a forest officer who was passing by the route heard screams of this girl. He immediately rushed to the spot and found the hut. He immediately called his comrade and rushed into the hut kicking down the door. He found the girl was in the process of being harassed by a big burly man and the moment he saw the forest officer, he ran outside knocking the officer down. The officer was about to chase this man, when he heard the girl moaning in pain. He immediately rushed to her and saw her lying in a pool of blood under her legs.

He immediately dialed for the local police and ambulance. He covered her with the only cloth around: her night gown.

The girl was immediately handed over to the ambulance and local police. She was hospitalized immediately. The local police sub inspector’s wife worked in a nearby NGO and she immediately contacted her office and requested for help. The NGO immediately responded and sent her a cheque covering the entire hospital fee and also a letter in which they had agreed to take her in their custody till her parents were contacted.

I turned to the next page, where the hospital report was quoted. The girl has suffered several internal bleedings and spasm of muscles all over her body. She had lost a lot of blood and has temporarily lost her sanity. The moment she sees a guy, she strips and lies down with her legs open. The worst part of the report was the report on her privates. Where there should have been a line, there was a round hole which was considerably swollen. I suddenly remembered the flashes of what I had seen half hour back. I did see a red swollen hole down just as I turned to run away from the room. I looked at the last page of the report which stated that the girl was barely 16 years old when she was rescued. Her attackers were arrested and only one managed to getaway. It was known from her attackers that the local police had not taken any notice when they come across the path to the little hut and as a matter of fact that they had also claimed their share on her, regularly.

The men were all sentenced to serve a life term in prison. The worst part was that all the main attackers had a proper family and their “leader” had a daughter who was of the same age of this girl.

My blood was boiling and I found that I could not continue any further. Dr Radha offered me few tissues. I did not realize that I had been crying for over five minutes…

and suddenly I found my hand getting wet. My little darling lying on my lap was also crying. I held her close to me. She slowly got up and settled on my lap hugging me tightly and her tears never stopping. She was whispering something remotely in my ears. When I pulled her by her head and looked into her eyes, she said something which made my blood boil. She said, “I think I know what the girl might have undergone. I was harassed by my cousin when I was twelve”

I clutched her immediately close to me, scared to leave her. I vowed to myself that I d kill the guy who touched her. We both sat there in silence, crying and clinging to each other tightly. She looked once again in my eyes and asked me, “Promise me that you won’t leave me.” I looked at her and hugged her once again only firmer. I was never going to leave her.

We were still clinging on to each other for about an hour. I then realized she had been asleep for quite some time. I then slowly lifted her and found out that she was quite heavy than I expected. I slowly carried her into the bedroom and laid her down on her bed. Just as I was gently tugging my arm from her, she awoke with a start and held on to my hands even tighter with her blue eyes pleading with me to not to leave her in that state. I immediately sat down next to her, and slowly stroked her hair till she went back to sleep. I tried once again to tug my arm out of her hand. She woke up again and I could see fear in her eyes. I had to stroke her head again till she went back to sleep. I realized that I cannot leave her in this state. I got into her bed by her side (and prayed that it should hold both of us) and gently pulled the covers over her. I looked at her, sleeping contently with my arm clasped on her heart. I kissed her and hugged her to sleep.

I suddenly woke up to find her on me and hugging me tightly. I became uneasy and slowly I rolled her on the other side of the bed and walked back to the Hall. I had actually lost my sleep. It was 3 in the morning. I poured myself a cup of juice and picked up a reader digest nearby.

When I woke up, I found my vision obstructed by a very large quantity of bushy hair. I looked down and found my darling on me. I did not understand, I remember myself carrying her and putting her to bed, and here she was again on me. I had been reading some story and apparently I had fallen asleep on the couch. I looked at my watch. It was 7 am. I carried her once more, in my tired arms. I left her on her bed. This time she did not clasp my arm. I tucked her in bed.

I then brewed the coffee in her kitchen and boiled some milk in her microwave. I left a note for her on the bedside and also messaged her, just in case, and left her home.

R.E.F.L.E.C.T.I.O.N.S. - Series 2

2008-07-07T21:38:00.005+05:30

Greetings, my friends. I am just continuing this post from the point I left it (last blog post) Thank you all for your support. Here you go on the second part.. I must warn you. It has some technical details...

I shifted in my chair uncomfortably. Her eyes were still giving me the penetrating look. However, I could see that she was admiring me. She got up and snuggled close to me. I held her in my arms. I suddenly felt a warmth spread all over me. I did not want to disturb here. We were in total silence for what seemed to be an hour. Slowly adrenaline rushed to my head. I pulled back from her the second time. I got up and filled our glasses again. This time i sat next to her, hoping that she would snuggle back to me. I felt so secure in her warmth and now was actually looking forward to hold her back. However, this time, she just put her tired head on my shoulders. Her hair smelt nice. I think she was using a very good shampoo. Dove or Loreal, but the scent was pleasing. I was actually mesmerized by her hair. So soft and bushy and sweet smelling. "Go on!" she prodded me breaking the silence for the second time.

The best part was that all my services were offered free of cost to the public. I never charged a single rupee to the patient, or that’s what I thought. I was asked to come everywhere. I have never imagined that my life was about to become complicated. I managed to satisfy every doctor owning those clinics, in addition, to my responsibility for screening and verifying applicants for post graduate applications and doctoral programs. My life was a routine. I was always dressed in whites completely, when I visited the clinics.

January 2003, I was at the Institute for Alternate Medicine as their guest of honor for their new computerized diagnostic equipment. I watched the chief guest inaugurating this machine. I was against them against importing this machine in this clinic. It was a money minting machine. Each test in that machine costs Rs 1500 per test. All the other Clinics had tie ups with this clinic for these “tests” making sure that they had a slice of this piece too. When I did not permit them for this computerized monstrosity, the association of Doctors of the Chennai Alternate Medical Council went for a skip level meeting and got the permission from the Director of the institute. They however could not shut me up with that. By the power invested in me, I brought in a rule which should be printed in the request for prescription/diagnosis form. The rule clearly stated that this computer test is not mandatory for the patient and the patient was asked to inform me if they were forced to undergo this test by the doctors. This rule was written in English, Hindi & Tamil. The association was furious at my cheekiness. However, they could not do anything against me. They took it personally. As far as to me, it is the public that I was concerned about the most and they should not pay unnecessarily for all these riff raffs. I believe that our ancient pulse diagnosis is the most reliable form of diagnosis. This was just an eye wash a smart way to loot the public money. I never gave in to such tactics.

I had very good luck with my patients, rather than administration. I started to work on my thesis, picking patients from right left and center. I decided to find a cure for AIDS. Yes. You read it right. It’s AIDS. I had to use my complete conversation skills, to convince a patient to undergo my treatment. I obviously could not do it alone, so I needed help from one of the other doctors, who had completed the PhD before. Finally, I chose Dr Arun (Name Changed) to help me with this work told that he was a very remarkable man and from my inferences after talking to him, it did seem that he was very remarkable. When I told him about this idea, he was very skeptical, and again, I had to have three lunches with him to see the idea.

The reason I need a partner is that, the patient is to be treated five times a day, at fixed timing, based on the calculation on the change of the breathing cycle. It was complex, and I had just barely begun by second year, and allied chemistry was indeed a nightmare which scared me to death not to mention Zoology, which literally made me puke (by cutting frogs, cockroaches, rabbits, rats etc)

Since Dr Arun was a full time doctor, I asked the patient to get admitted in his hospital. The treatment was going to be expensive and it needed Dr Arun or me administering the dosage intravenously. Perhaps, the most complicated part was to insert four needles at the same time (on the head and the ears) and two needles on the leg. I had to take the help of my mentor, who was to administer this treatment when I was not around. My mentor, being quite a big shot, charges nothing less than 1000 Rs per visit.

Now, I categorized AIDS in three stages, and luckily for me, this guy was in the second stage or the intermediary stage. I had to first contain the HIV from replicating, and had to make him drink 23 different types of herbs. Our first success came along just after 15 days, where the HIV in the blood had actually not risen. It was truly a spectacular moment for me. When I conveyed my results to Dr Arun, he congratulated me that I was on the right path and we were about to create a world miracle.

I was working with Dr Susheela, a dietician in the same hospital as usual, she was advising me to cut the types of food that makes me gain weight. I neither cared, nor bothered. However, something within me irked her to talk to her regarding my new case which was kept under wraps. I told her my recent success and her eyes immediately grew wide. She asked me to bring my notes and findings to her and asked me to meet her for lunch outside (praying that I should not be a vegetable or fruit shop!)

When we met, I described to her the types and variations of the Chinese acupuncture mixed with two other kind of treatments from my other courses. She was amazed by my findings and though she did not understand the complexity, she immediately arranged my with Dr Athula Ariyabala, a leading Sri Lankan doctor, in Acupuncture. She was in Karaikudi (in Tamil Nadu) attending a conference and Dr Susheela arranged a meeting with her or me. I was so immensely pleased that I could meet Dr Athula.

Dr Arun and I decided to do a presentation of our prototypes and variations to her. We both were supremely excited over the prospect of her helping us with this process. The meeting went on successfully. In fact, it went way too successfully. She was amazed at the different types of prototypes I had created and also on my theory of the alternate Qi (also known as energy in Chinese) my study was on how to stop the replication of the virus. I was working on the process of removal. Thanks to my knowledge in Biochemistry, that I was able to get a deep understanding of the HIV and its composition. I know most of you may not understand the technical process, but I am giving little details about this virus. Please be patient and read them, as it is important to understand the complexity of the treatment.

HIV particles surround themselves with a coat of fatty material known as the viral envelope (or membrane). Projecting from this are around 72 little spikes, which are formed from the proteins gp120 and gp41. Just below the viral envelope is a layer called the matrix, which is made from the protein p17 (refer figure below)

The viral core (or capsid) is usually bullet-shaped and is made from the protein p24. Inside the core are three enzymes required for HIV replication called reverse transcriptase, integrase and protease. Also held within the core is HIV's genetic material, which consists of two identical strands of RNA. The coat surrounding the virus (also called as the viral membrane) cannot be broken due to its strength of the fatty acid chain binding each adjacent fatty acid link.

Now, my studies concluded that, to destroy the virus, the wall needs to be broken. This cannot be achieved by any drugs. This can be accomplished by regulation of the blood in the circulatory system. The prototype I designed, worked like this.

The needles have to be simultaneously inserted on 9 circulation inducing points.
Each needle has to be connected to a mild electric stimulator.
There will be a random increase and decrease in the circulation of the blood in the body by using stimulators.
A portable laser light will be placed above the patient.
A block of ice is kept ready nearby.
The body was then subjected to extremes of heat and cold while the blood circulation was induced artificially.

This process however did not break the viral membrane, but what it did, was that it stopped the virus from replicating. Now, I learnt that the membrane cannot be destroyed, but I was trying to find a way to remove the virus from the circulatory system. When Dr Athula saw this, she was stunned by my theory and she immediately arranged for a funding of my research. Dr Arun and I were so much besides joy that our research was heading in the proper direction.

I conveyed to my mentor with the success of the meeting with Dr Athula and he was immensely pleased with me. When I informed Dr Radha, that I was to receive a grant from the University of Alternate Medicines, she was so immensely proud of me. I wanted to break the news to my parents. I wanted to tell them the news. However, Dr radha, asked me to wait till I get an official confirmation from the University. She meanwhile asked me on when I had filed my prototypes. I told her that I was going to file it the very next day.

The very next day, I made a brief report on my prototypes and sent it to the University for Approval for my Thesis for the partial fulfillment of my PhD. Meanwhile, Dr Arun asked me some literature content on my theory, so I lent him my material and findings.

The patient was making very good progress. We managed to stop the replication for two weeks now. He had two wounds which slowly started to heal. He was a diabetic also. This treatment actually controlled his sugar levels also. We were making very good progress on this treatment.

Meanwhile, the “computerized” treatment centers apparently learned my success and they withdrew the cold war with me. Dr Arun and I were offered spaces in many clinics for our research center. We were asked to present our theory and findings at many places Dr Arun visited many places to present our paper, while I was working on the next level on my theory.

I was also offered a complete paid trip to present my paper in the conference at Shangai on the use of advanced classical Chinese Acupuncture, by the Chennai Alternate Medicine Counsel. I was very happy to get this information. I went home to convey my parents the enormity of my success. I had not yet accepted the Invite. I wanted to get their permission first.

I went back home to find it locked. My parents had gone out. However, on the floor of my car park, I found a letter addressed to me from the University. Adrenaline rushed through my body. Here it was, at last, my huge success in my life. I knew this was the official confirmation of the Grant.

My hands were trembling with delight. I opened the letter. As I read the contents, my heart skipped a beat. There must be some mistake. It cannot be. The letter stated that my prototype has actually been filed two days before the day I sent my application for filing. I was taken aback. It cannot be possible. Probably, I had to call them and find out the next morning. I was completely tensed the next day I headed top the council’s head quarters. From there, using my authority as the registrar of the council, I called the University with the reference number of the prototype to find out in whose name, the prototype was filed. After a few minutes, the lady on the other end stated “It’s filed in the name of Dr Arun Kumar, Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India, approved by Dr Athula Ariyabala, for his Post Doctoral research”

My brain went numb. I dropped the receiver in horror and shock. I stood there open mouthed with tears in my eyes. I saw the weekly newsletter (which had the general updates in the alternate medicine industry, and my article was getting published on this issue!) addressed to me on my table and with trembling hands and expecting the worst, I opened the article. There it was, my very own article published neatly under the name of Dr Arun Kumar, Chennai.

(to be continued...)

R.E.F.L.E.C.T.I.O.N.S – Series 1

2008-06-26T16:08:00.004+05:30

This blog, I dedicate to my long lost love. She always was proud of me and always made me feel better about myself. Towards the end of the blog, I will tell you my friends, the reason why I wrote this blog. Till then.. Happy reading!! :)

“So, tell me Sathiya, I want to know your background in Alternate Medicines. Tell me about the path you journeyed in Alternate Medicines. I have heard that you have completed a lot of courses in Ayur Veda. So can you tell me?”

“First thing is, I specialized in Acupuncture, not Ayur Veda. Why do you want to know about my path in alternate medicines? “I tried to give a smile. However what came out was a goofy grin.

“The thing is, I know you for about a year now, and I still feel that you are a stranger. I still don’t know about you” she said.

“Well all that you want to know is already in the face book of my department. I showed that to you” I retorted. I slowly started getting nervous. “I hate it when people question my path in alternate medicines. There were a lot of unpleasant activities and unpleasant memories. It has been a terrible ordeal for me to come out of all that. Don’t make me look into the past” I said. I had also sounded rude. Nevertheless, she did not give up. Her face had a determined look. I just was about to get up. Just as I was about to, her slender hand held my thick ones. She had a blazing look in her deep brown eyes. Damn, I thought. I can never say No to her. Why?

I was furious with myself. I tried to remove my hands from her warm hand. “My own parents do not know half the story. How do you expect me to tell you?” I asked her.

“I am not your parent. I am the one with whom you are going to spend your entire life with. It’s important for me that I must know everything about you.” she said. “I always knew you were hiding something from me. I just found out that, this is the one. I want to know” her determined voice began to dig into the depths of my shadowy past. No one dead or alive had known the complete story. Few people had bits of my story. Now here she was, asking me to reveal my shadow past.

I began to tremble. She put her arms around me and her head on my shoulder. I could smell the sweet scent of Dove Shampoo beside my face. Her touch was something special, her warmth was comforting. I have never felt this sensation before. I looked at her deep brown eyes. I could feel her eyes X-raying through me, waiting for me to answer. My sight then went down from her eyes, down to her chest, where a generous amount of cleavage was displayed. My heart skipped a beat. I could see her womanliness beautifully shaped in her green gown which ran up to her thighs. I could see a tiny freckle near her chin. There was complete silence for full fifteen minutes. I slowly shifted in her couch. It was very new to me. I have never been that close to a girl ever in my life. I could feel the adrenaline rushing into my head.

I pushed her away, got up from the couch, and picked a bottle of juice from her fridge. She sat there watching me quietly like a lioness hunting for her prey. I sat opposite her, and told her “Fire away. What do you want to know??”

Her eyes blazed even brighter. She held her hand to me. Instinctively I made a grab for it. She pulled me back to the couch. She looked into my eyes with the same piercing effect and said “Let’s start with your degrees”

I took a paper and penned down...

Prof Dr Sathiya Narayanan, B.Sc, M.D.(Acu), Ph.D., D.Su.Acu., D.A.A., D.C.Acu., D.M.T., D.Y.T., D.N.T., C.F.M., C.C.T., C.P.D., C.G.T., C.Y.I & Visiting Professor.

Her eyes grew wide. “Can you expand these for me?” she asked

B.Sc – Bachelor of Science
M.D.(Acu) – Doctor of Medicine (Acupuncture)
Ph.D – Doctor of Philosophy
D.Su.Acu - Diplma in Su Jok Acupuncture
D.A.A – Diploma in Ayurvedic Acupuncture
D.C.Acu – Diploma in Classical Acupuncture
D.M.T – Diploma in Magent Therapy
D.Y.T – Diploma in Yoga Therapy
D.N.T – Diploma in Neurotherapy
C.F.M – Certified Flower Medicines Practitioner
C.C.T – Certified Colour Therapy Practitioner
C.P.D – Certified in Pendulum Dowsing
C.G.T – Certified Gem Therapist
C.Y.I – Certified Yoga Instructor
Visiting Professor – Chennai Alternate Medical Council

“Wow” she mouthed. I did not know what she saw in me, a fat guy who looks older for his age. “You studied so much? I thought you hate studying!” Man, after seeing all this, I can’t stand near your shadow and you told me that I am more qualified?"

I merely smiled. “They are of no value now. They are not recognized by the Government of India. It’s useless. Besides most of the degrees have been taken away by those who conferred it on me. Few I destroyed it. My MD, PhD, and a couple of diplomas is all that is left. They could not take that from me.” I said. “It is not. It just shows how much you knowledge you posses. But why did they take off your degrees?” she asked, as she clung to me and her warmth slowly relieving me of the stress I worked up when she asked me.

"That's a long story. That is the most painful part in my life. DO you still want me to relate all that?" I asked. "The moment you share it with me, it will be less painful for you. I will help you ease your burden sweetheart. That's why I am here, for you" she probed me.

“We will come back to that later. I know that you were a part of many associations. I was told that you achieved a lot of honors and were in respectable positions in many organizations. I want all those details”

I was stunned. “How on the name of the great devil did you know that?” I asked her. “Radha, told me, when she was suggesting me medicines for my sinus” “Radha?” “Radha Jayakumar? I asked her. “Yeaa. How many Radhas doe we know??” (Radha Jayakumar was working with me in few clinics where I used to practice. She specialized in Ayur Veda and Electro Homeopathy and Homeopathy and a very good friend of mine. She used to treat my women patients for some delicate disorder I could not do, for obvious reasons)

She had obviously grilled and extracted this information from her. I had obviously underestimated this woman.

I went down the memory lane. I remembered that day. How happy I was. I remember walking to the podium to deliver the acceptance speech with my chest puffed high.”I was elected the General Secretary and Chief Practitioner (Chinese Acupuncture) in the Chennai Alternate Medicine Council. I also had an additional responsibility conferred for me. I was also the Secretary in Charge for Post Graduate Examinations & Doctorate Programs. I also was conferred visiting Professor from the All Tamil Nadu Association for Alternate Medicines. I was a visiting Doctor in many clinics. Santoshi Acupuncture Clinic, Dhanwantri Clinic for Alternate medicines, Raj Acupuncture Centre, Institute for Alternate medicine & the Chinese Acupuncture Clinic. I used to visit each clinic weekly, on a rotation basis.

(To be continued....)

Tag!!!

2008-06-19T00:21:00.001+05:30

Another Tag on the cards.. I was just thinking of naming myself as a Tag-O-Maniac.. Nevertheless, here I go..

I am: what you think I am!! :)

I am not: what you think I am!! :P

I think: I am going to get a good life ahead!

I know: that some things cant be changed..

I want: to be around my best friends.

I have: my own set of ethics and rules.

I wish: the mind had shift+ delete option for pain and bad memories.

I hate: infidelity, falsehood & partiality/preference treatment.

I miss: C.H.E.N.N.A.I.

I fear: losing my best friends.

I feel: I am changing.

I hear: people commenting about the way I live.

I crave: to watch a movie in Satyam or INOX , then head to the beach and then to Bikes n Barrels (with my nutty gang!).

I search: for my long lost love..

I wonder: what Destiny has in store for me.

I regret: making some bad decisions and trusting wrong people in life.

I love: my family, my friends, laughing and eating good food!!

I ache: when I run on the treadmill :P

I care: for everybody.

I always: help somebody (nevertheless lands me in trouble!!)

I believe: Science, universal facts, God

I dance: in my dream!!

I sing: in the shower..

I cry: when I remember my past relationships.

I don’t always: understand women!

I fight: when I am misunderstood.

I write: my blog and long emails.

I win: when I lose to my best friends.

I lose: I always lose!

I never: forget though I may forgive.

I confuse: when people around me are already confused.

I listen: to songs??

I can usually be found: at the laptop..

I am scared: of losing my loved ones.

I need: my family & my best friends

I am happy about: the fact that my friends are still around me.

Q: One religious work from a non-familiar tradition you’ll read:

A: The Odyssey by Homer.

Q: One music video–that you like–from your “least likely to listen to’ genre:

A: Pehali Nazar Mein..

Q: Somewhere you’d never thought to go on holiday/vacation, and why it might be fun to go there?

A: Greece, Rome & Italy, the best of foods and beautiful architecture.

Q: A sport or game you really hate, or haven’t tried yet, but are willing to give one more go.

A: Snooker!!

Q: A style of dance you probably won’t try..

A: I don’t dance!!!

Q: A career job you don’t feel you’re suited for, and why:

A: I can never be an computer programmer because I hate writing, testing and developing codes/programs.

Q: An item that’s “thinking out of the box’ for you

A: Probably the “next question please”, for a particularly embarrassing question

Q: If there’s one thing in life you wanted to do, and will do, what will it be?

A: Pack up and get back to Chennai

I tag my friends starting with "The Preeti", Jenny, Prathi, Ruby, my sisters Archana and Vidhya and my esteemed friend Srini to do this tag and pass it across!!

I also tag any new readers who venture across my blog.

Please chip in your comments!!

Tagged Again & Again...

2008-06-09T20:01:00.001+05:30

Yet another Tag again. I love doing tags. It hardly takes time!! Ok, here you go....

6 Whatever’s about Me:

1. I love the Friends series I keep watching them at the least twice a week.
2. I live all alone in Hyderabad, though I have a friend who shares a room in my flat. I have breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner alone L
3. I am very reserved. I have fun only with my best friends. Very few people know who I truly am.
4. I love going for a long drives, especially by car.
5. I love collecting software’s, any kind. I ve got close to 3000 software’s, I don’t use most of them, but I love collecting them.
6. I like having long hair on me or anybody, actually I want my life partner to have long and silky hair. I actually am trying to grow my hair, not very long though.. There are a lot of objections from my family; nevertheless, I still grow it!

10 Things I miss in my life right now: (In random order)

1. My dad, mum, aunt and brother
2. Rotaract Movement
3. Chennai Beach & Spencer Plaza
4. My best Friends
5. Drives on the ECR
6. College life – MBA (the non academic part)
7. Kolkatta Chat – RA Puram
8. Night Outs
9. Tamil Movies
10. Going out with my best friend

10 Things I Want to Achieve (not necessarily) Within a Decade:

1. Lose Weight
2. Buy a Prado and a big house with garden in Chennai
3. Travel all over the World.
4. A high paying job that requires point no.3 (above)
5. Hang out with friends every week (at the least)
6. Become a corporate trainer & Public Speaker
7. Start my own business venture
8. Start one non-profit organization
9. Own a resort in Goa
10. Arrange an alumni meet for my school, UG college and PG college at Dublin, Pasha & Sparks respectively (at Chennai)

Last, but not the least, The Book Tag. It comes with its own set of rules:

Pick up the nearest book.
Open to page 123.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the next three sentences.
Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.

Book: ETHICS BY ARISTOTLE
Page No. 123, Line 5-8 read:

Again: are friends most needed in prosperity or in adversity? They are required, we know, in both states, because the unfortunate need help and the prosperous want people to live with and to do kindnesses to: for they have a desire to act kindly to someone.

To have friends is more necessary in adversity, and therefore in this case useful ones are wanted; and to have them in prosperity is more honorable, and this is why the prosperous want good men for friends, it being preferable to confer benefits on, and to live with, these. For the very presence of friends is pleasant even in adversity: since men when grieved are comforted by the sympathy of their friends.

And from this, by the way, the question might be raised, whether it is that they do in a manner take part of the weight of calamities, or only that their presence, being pleasurable, and the consciousness of their sympathy, make the pain of the sufferer less. However, we will not further discuss whether these which have been suggested or some other causes produce the relief, at least the effect we speak of is a matter of plain fact.

I hope this book tag shows how weird I am!

This tag was sent by “PREETI” duly acknowledged and done by me at her request.

I tag Srini to do this, the rest have already been tagged, I suppose. I also tag everybody and anybody who reads this and interested in doing it.

CRASH....

2008-05-20T18:21:00.001+05:30

The wind was blowing past my face. I sat there behind him in his pulsar, with my pulse thrashing and throbbing in my wrists. A sudden chill went down my spine. A sickening CRASH followed. I found myself in air, thrown away from the bike. Two powerful hydrogen lights blinded my eye sight. I saw vivid images of my parents, my brother, the girl I love and my best friends. They were all around me.

I tried to get up, and catch my mother hands. My knees gave away. Darkness slowly descended on me. I saw the eyes of my love, sparkling like diamonds, and as the darkness was setting in on me, a sudden burst of energy flowed through my veins.

I opened my eyes. Fresh drops of water were falling from the sky above. I did not know how long I was unconscious. I rolled from the ground and stood up. I saw my right shoe a footstep away. It was battered and torn from the accident. I slipped my leg onto it. A couple of guys came behind me and asked me whether I am all right. They handed me my mobile pouch, my iPod, my house and bike keys, my ID card and drawer keys.

Srinath came running to me. He asked me whether I was okay. I looked at my shirt, my favorite black shirt, ripped apart. My black pant was ripped on the knees. My elbows were bleeding. My right knee was bleeding profusely. Blood stains on my clothes. My body was trembling. The pain was unbearable. I saw Raktim checking my other friend Jayanta. He was equivalently hurt. The accident had a maximum on me being a pillion rider. I still wondered at the miracle that had just happened. My head was saved.

Raktim pulled Jayanta’s bike up. They asked me to sit behind him once again. I begged them to allow me to ride the bike. I was thwarted again for the third time that day by the three of them. I climbed back into the bike. With every fiber and nerve inside me praying to the god almighty, to take me to my office

The bike gathered speed again, My heart was throbbing and crashing. The bleeding had not stopped. I was scared again for the second time in my life. I wondered whether I will be able to make it alive to my office. I prayed to God that I will never go as a pillion rider in a bike ever again in my life. The bike was rocking from side to side. Jayanta made racy turns. I would have normally enjoyed this ride had it not been for the accident. But things were different.

I closed my eyes, in fear. Jayanta suddenly hit the brakes. I thought I was about to fly into the air again. Thankfully his bike stopped. I got down the bike only to find Jayanta screaming at a cab guy for braking in the middle of the road. I tried to control him, but went in vain. I reached for my mobile in my pouch. My hands went into the pouch. There was nothing. No mobile. My eyes went wide in shock. I checked my other pockets. Everything other than my mobile was present. Tears welled to my eyes. That was a special mobile. It was a gift from my aunt. It had a lot of things of sentimental values. Pictures of my friends, messages and reassuring messages from my best friends, very special messages from the girl I loved.. All was lost.

Srinath and Raktim were behind me. They stopped Jayanta yelling. I looked at Srinath and told him that I lost my mobile. I wanted to go back there. They asked me to get back to office and they will go and look for it. Jayanta meanwhile wanted to go back home. I requested him to drop me at our office. He was not willing to. Raktim then asked him to do so.

For the third time in my life, I climbed back into the death machine. As expected, I found it gathering speed. Will this guy never learn, I screamed inside my head. I went back to praying. When I opened my eyes, I saw Jayanta skipping past a police cop who wanted us to stop. Jayanta picked up speed again. I was thoroughly scared and scarred. We rode past him.

We reached office in about two minutes. I climbed down that death machine and hoped that, it will be the last time, I got into that bike. I limped across the road and asked Jayanta to follow me for first aid. I did not even turn back to check whether he was following. I was mad at him, but I did my duty. I asked him to come. If he did not want to listen to me, I can’t do anything. I limped up to the security gate. The security guard was frisking me for my ID card, which I did not know where it was. Another guard recognized me and immediately took my hand. He asked me what happened. I told him that I met with an accident. He immediately put my arms around his shoulders and supported me. He took me to the healing room.

I was gently put on the bed by that guy. I thanked him. Where my friend should have supported me, this guy came. What did I do for him? Nothing. All I did was I taught a bunch of them computers. They had so much respect and regard for me that they came to my rescue. I thanked him once again silently. My face was hot with tears. I could hear the rain lashing out from the Hot Hyderabad sky.

I suddenly felt my hand and knee burning at the same time. I looked up in horror. The medical assistants were dressing the wounds with spirit. I felt as if my entire skin was on fire. I stifled my pain, thinking about my parent’s latest visit here, I felt safe and secure. They injected a shot of tetanus and a pain killer. I was unable to stand and I felt giddy.

They asked me to lie down in the bed next room. I limped to the room and slowly sank into the bed. I heard voices outside. I recognized it as Raktim’s and Srinath’s. I called out to them. They say me patched up. Srinath looked at me silently. I knew at that moment that I had lost my mobile forever. Tears started to gush out me once again. I turned my head. They told me to take care and they left. I was in that dark room all by myself. My morale was low. I was far from my family. My friends, my world, everything

Pictures of my parents and my friends started reforming. The blackness was setting in. I thought that there was going to be another shot of energy. However, this time, blackness descended completely knocking my senses. I fell into a deep sleep.

It was half past six when I was gently shook awake by the security guy. He was about to leave his shift and wanted to check in on me. I got up and put my glasses back on my face and looked at him. I answered his questions patiently. I looked into my watch, a gift from my best friends. Still intact, with just a minor scratch on the glass. I asked him to take me to my bike. I took his hand and walked with him to my bike. I asked him to start it and give it to me. He obeyed immediately.

I got on to the bike and I accelerated slowly. I thanked him and wished him good bye and slowly drove back to my home. I got back home with no other incidents. I rapped the door. My friend opened the door and looked at me sleepily. I told him I met with an accident. He looked at me queerly and opened the doors wide. I came in and removed my torn shoes. I requested him for his mobile. I called my parents and told them. I knew they will be worried, but if I did not tell them, they will go crazy. I told them that it was a minor accident. They started to panic. I was flooded with phones from my grandparents, aunt and my parents and my brother. I reassured all of them that I was still in one piece. They were not convinced. I could not help it. Life has to go on, I told myself.

At 8 o clock, the calls stopped. I fell into a deep sleep. My friend woke me up at 12 to get me some lunch. I told him I wanted to go to office. We argued for an hour, and I told him that I will go to office at any circumstances. I needed food, I needed medical aid and the only place where this was available and safe was my office. I had about an hour’s time to get dressed.

I lay there on the bed, thinking. Had I been in Chennai, this would have not occurred. Even if something of this magnitude had happened, my parents would have been on the spot in few minutes and they would be next to me when I went thru the pain. My friends would have come to check whether I am still in one piece. They would all sit around me and joke about, and make laugh and easing my sufferings. At least had my parents been in Hyderbad as I had requested them, I would have not gone to that party. I cannot use my bike as I was missing some papers that are supposedly required if I were stopped by a cop. I would have been home, lying on my mother’s lap and telling her about what happened in office today. My dad would be sitting next to me, cracking all of us up with laughter with his.

I need my family, I thought. I need my friends. Had this been Chennai, my friends would have been around me by now. I could not even talk to them. Previously, sometimes, when I was low, I used to look into the mobile with their reassuring messages and that used to make me feel better. May be I could have called them. All was lost with my mobile. I felt like a person alienated from my world.

I slowly replayed the entire events that took place yesterday. I walked into office as usual at 2pm. I was setting up my desk and clearing out unnecessary papers and files into the shredding machine. I set my desk and was decorating my workspace. One of my friends, came up and asked me to work on an update of a project, that needed to go out immediately. I stopped my decorations midway and started to work on the project.

Just as I submitted the project for final valuation, I received a mail from my manager stating that there was no transport for today’s function. I was stunned. I told my manager that I will not be able to make it to the party without transport. He then asked me to come with a colleague. My colleague was grumbling about his bike carrying the both of us.

I was stung by his words and was trying to make alternate arrangements, when my manager came and told me that one of my senior analysts had a car and he would accommodate me. I sighed with relief and thanked my manager.

We were the last to leave from office yesterday. We reached there at quarter to nine. The party had begun. Everyone were sitting in groups. I went and picked up a diet coke can and went and sat at the far end of the couch were a group of them were sitting and having fun. I sipped my coke and was watching all the fun. Everybody was there in their respective groups. I was with myself. I got up, went around and shook hands with the US team and discussed some official matters and came back.

The music was getting to loud, and I started getting a head ache. I messaged one of my best friends and called the other. I spoke to her for a couple of minutes and then went back inside. The music went on and on with my head throbbing in pain. At 10 pm, they announced dinner. There was a quick rush for the food. After the rush subsided, I went and looked at the menu.. Almost completely it was Non veg. They had rotis, plain rice and raita along with mixed veg curry. I had some rotis with curry and plain rice mixed with raita. By the time I finished, all my colleagues had left. Just the four of us remained. I asked Srinath, to put me into an auto. He told me that he would give me a ride back home. I requested him not to burden himself. I just asked him to put me into an auto. He shouted at me and told me that, I was not a burden and he would take me back. I did not know what to say, so I accepted it silently.

It was nearing twelve when the four of us lumbered down. We were talking about our departments and the problems we faced. This went for another 15 minutes. Then Jayanta decided to leave. I was asked by Srinath to go with Jayanta. I shook my head and asked him to drop me. I did not want to burden Jayanta and more over, he was high! Srinath told me that his bike had some problem and can’t carry me. I asked him to put me into an auto. Jayanta intervened and said that he would take care of everything. As he was saying, he was accelerating the bike.

I had a bad feeling as I climbed on to the death machine. He raised the accelerator once again and the bike lurched forward. The bike slowly gathered pace. He started to twist and turn the bike at will on the roads. The torque of the pulsar increased. The wind was blowing past my face. I sat there behind him in his pulsar, with my pulse thrashing and throbbing in my wrists. A sudden chill went down my spine. CRASH!!

Great Expectations...

2008-05-06T14:08:00.025+05:30

It was a typical summer Saturday afternoon at Hyderabad, hot as hell as it is always during the summers here. The temperature recorded around 42 degrees Celsius. I was sitting comfortably in Cast Away, our conference room at office with Prasanna sitting opposite me and both of us were doing some work and having a discussion....

I looked at Prasanna incredulously, the second time. I just could not believe it. I hate it when he was right. I just looked around uncomfortably. Both of us were working on Saturday. We had sneaked into a conference room and had the operations team switch on the air conditioner for us. It is heaven. Incidentally, my office, especially the third floor of the C block of Deloitte is my first home at Hyderabad.

My favorite place is the conference room titled Cast away, which seats six people and has a telephone and Internet connection just like the other rooms. I looked at my all time favorite IBM laptop which was connected to the Internet. It was around quarter to six. Our conversation was over.

I got up and went out to the break out area, contemplating on my last conversation with Prasanna. I took a cup of tea and stared outside the windows, to a pinkish orange sky. I have always loved that color combination of the sky. It was a mixture of pink and orange surrounded by infinite blue and white expansive skyline, a truly magnificent sight. I sat there unaware of the time racing ahead..

After what seemed to be an like an hour, I returned to the room and figured that it was time for me to leave office. Prasanna had actually left office after leaving a note on my laptop. I packed my bags, switched off the lights and after informing the Ops team to switch of the air conditioner, I found myself standing at the limited cafeteria on the second floor. I bought an appy and proceeded towards the “Den” on the D Block fourth floor.

The D block fourth floor consisted of an open space around 1000 square foot of open space. It was open on three sides like a peninsula and the view of the entire Hi-tech city from there is breathtaking. I looked at the sun on the sky, which had turn a reddish orange glow ball spanned across the pink and orange sky surrounded by blue and white sky line.

I sat on the small elevated platform and gazed up at the sky. “So, you don’t have any expectations from your partner? You won’t mind how she is? You won’t look into her past? You will be totally okay with the way she is?? You won’t mind even if she earns more than you??” The last words of Prasanna’s conversation came back to me. “You hate it when I talk on the phone with my friend, when I am talking to you. What will you do, if you get a partner who is like Farooq’s girl friend who is on the phone all the time? You know how much he frets and fumes about that to us. Your family is way too traditional to accept a modern girl. So you and your family will be okay with that??”

Will I be okay with that? I asked myself. I was expecting an answer from Inside saying, yeah buddy, we are okay with anything, as long as we are there with the person we love. But my heart still was silent. My mind probed deeper.. “Hello!! Anybody home?” it asked.. “Yeah buddy, I am right here”, a voice echoed from my heart. “So, did you hear my question?” asked my mind. “I did” answered the heart. “So what on earth is going to be your answer??” the mind asked. “I thought you know the answer!!” said the heart. “I do??” asked the mind positively appalled with itself. “Yes, you do, you crazy voodoo!” retorted the heart. “No, I don’t” replied the mind. “My my, playing dumb are we?? Sniggered the heart. “Can you both stop give it a rest??" I intervened. "And Mr Heart, would you mind answering the question? We both know that you’re the one where we get the true answers from" I added.

“I am okay with anything. You know me, but not you my dear centaur. I think, you have a lot of expectations from your future partner.” “I have??” I asked incredulously. “But marriage is far off for him” He has just completed twenty three years now, and he has three to four years of time ahead of him. I am definitely sure, that he will not love or be loved in the next three to four years, and arranged marriage is what awaits him” piped the mind. “Excuse me?” the heart interrupted. “How are you sure that he won’t fall for any body?? Love happens without your notice and with my permission. You’re just the logical part and more over the concept of Love is my domain. You better not interfere with that, young man” retorted the heart. “Oh yeah??” the mind asked. “As I recollect, you have put him through the worst of times with the three kinds of relationship he had. He should have been bothered about his career, his family, his life, and his studies” “Me? It was not me! And career, family and academics are no doubt very important. But they are not the end of life. His life would have never been complete without Love. What do you know about love? You know nothing about love. You destroyed his happiness totally. It was you!! You and your logic and thought process! I can prove that to you"

The heart continued, "Lets journey back. The first, I made him fall for that cute girl in the call centre, and, you? What did you do?? You pulled him back stating that she is from a different religion and her physical features will not suit him to. The second one I put him through, yeah my mistake.. But you can't deny that. Almost everybody who saw her, fell for her, and none understood what she really wanted.. Atleast I made an effort and realized that she needed him as his friend and also that he was much stronger person, when she was with him. I also understood that she was too good for him. Just as I was about to convince him, you made matters worse by isolating him from her and put him into a company where he was never truly happy. I then forced him to go back to them and today he is happy again. Though the second was a failure, I made sure that he still has her around in his life, and you can see that she is a truly wonderful person who made & makes him happy whenever he is around! And the third? You should have made him go ahead with the third. They were so perfectly in peace. They were made for each other. You almost killed the both of them and me emotionally. Didn’t you?” asked the heart.

“My friend, she was elder to him by almost six years and was earning six times more than him and perhaps sixty times more attractive than him. Her society was different. You heard what her friends spoke of him the other day about him not being a good match for her. You heard how her mother had great respect and admiration for him. In the long run they would have never be happy” answered the mind. “You hypocrite, she was ready to quit her job. She was ready to leave anything for him. She was ready to be at home for him. She was ready to accept his family values. She was ready to change her appearance from being modern to traditional. She was ready to accept his religion in addition to hers. She never used to carry her mobile when they both went out. They would have been the happiest couple on earth! You stopped him from all that. Not me!!” screamed the heart. That was the limit. “Stop it the both of you. I don’t want you to fight over my past. Its done and dusted. They are all married and gone. Lets not talk about that. In fact I want both of you to shut up. We are not talking about that now or ever. Just leave me alone!” I screamed at the both of them. I realized my face was wet. I had tears running down my face and I had not realized. I removed my glasses, and wiped my eyes.

I swallowed a large gulp of apple juice. I looked at the sky line above. I could see that it was getting dark. The whole hi-tech city was ablaze with electricity. It was still looked beautiful when I looked thru it through watery eyes, I thought. It took few minutes to stop the silent tears gushing out. My tears helped me to release so much of the pain and frustraion of the events that had been long bottled up within me.

I got up and went over to the men’s room and washed my face and pulled my hair back into a minuscule pony tail. I headed back to the floor to pick my bag and leave office. I went straight back home and deposited my bag n the shelf. I found Ashok waiting at my door for me. He wanted to go to his favorite spot at the Secret Lake. It was a very small park (which belonged to a bar), situated before the lake. We smeared ourselves with Odomos cream and had the mosquito bat next to us, and we were off to the park on my faithful victor.

We both sat there in a stony silence. I looked at him a couple of times before I took a sip of my drink. He was lost in some other world and I was lost in my own world. What do I expect from my partner? I asked myself.

All of us have some expectations from our partner. Its not that all our expectation have to be met. A few perhaps? I definitely am not like the traditional guys. I d prefer if she stays at home and, after all she is going to be my queen. My horoscope states that my life will change (for the better) rather for the best with the entry of my wife into my life. My grandparents, great astrologers, state the same thing and also that she will be the best daughter in law in our family and her entry is going to bring our family status back to its original status as in the nineties, where my family was rolling in money. It’s not mandatory that she should stay at home, if she wants to work, I obviously will be supportive of her. Even if she wants to study, I will make sure that she does.

I definitely hate it when someone uses the mobile while I am talking to them. Again if the call is urgent you can’t help it. But not all the time! This is something that pisses me off and if its my life partner, definitely, it will affect me and her and our marriage.

I want her to be herself. She should be bubbly, energetic and love to talk. I want her to be open and honest. She should also be funny (to balance my seriousness & dumbness), playful and child like. After all, all of us love kids! She should love spending time with friends (I have one whole bunch of them) I am sure she would enjoy herself when she is around with my gang. I can vouch for them at any point of time. If she is in a job and if she happens to earn more, I will have a problem with that. I know that it is bad and I should be proud of her on the contrary. Perhaps, I have seen far too many women (who earn more than their husband) who treat their husband with contempt and that has affected me to a great extent. I have seen many marriages (inclusive of Love marriage) fail due to this where the guy loses his confidence and happiness. I just don't want to risk it. I have this big pride and ego within me.(I won't stop others from doing things as long as it does not affect my status. And if it does, I will not be there before they even decide to blink their eyes. That's one another thing, I cannot change)

She should have traditional values, must know about our religion, cause in my family, we always have some sort of a function or the other in our extended family and she might have to attend them. Of course my mum will be there with her. She must be creative and must know how to drive a car and a Honda activa or a Kinetic or a Scooty! (If she does not know, I will teach her!!!)

She should be clever, shrewd, with a strong personality, with very good self expression skills and should also have independent spirit. I really hope she should be strong in academics. I am rather weak at that, it will be good if he have a strong academician in our team. Example: my dad is an extremely good communicator and has excellent convincing skills, and he lacks tact and he was a first class holder in academics. However, my mum is very assertive and too excells in academics. I suppose I have just inherited my Dad’s conversation skills and my mum’s emotional nature, while my brother had the best of their combined skills.

I d be really happy if she is outgoing type, cause I would love to be out always. I always have friends who would love to have me around. I love going for movies, listening to songs, visiting friends, walking in the beach. I d be really happy if she has the same interests. I also want her to have a great attitude because I believe that a happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

Perhaps, my greatest negativity is that I am possessive. VERY. I learnt it the hard way that I should and cannot be possessive with friends as I may lose them. This will not be the case with my partner. I would support her for many activities, but she has to put up with my possessiveness. I can’t help it and this is one thing I won’t change in my attitude under any circumstances. I don’t mind her having an active social life and I d be more than happy to participate in her social life. However, nothing is conditional here. Just that if she has at-least few of these, so that our life would be balanced and we would enjoy being with each other.

“Crazy kia Rey” sang my phone bringing me back to reality. That’s my favorite song and I have allotted that song as a ring tone for one amongst the most special person in my life: Jane, one of my bestest friend. When I am insane, I don’t know how, but she always reaches out to me. I can never comprehend how! She is always there at the right moments.

One thing I have also accepted is that, even if things go worse, I don’t get the partner I expect and my partner is not happy with me, my best friends are always there! That’s one thing great about friendship. Especially mine, which I share with my nutty gang: they are and always will be around, even if we don’t meet frequently, we always will carry a part of each other where ever we go! That’s the magic of our friendship.

I talked to Jane for an hour that day, catching up with her life and slowly diverted the topic about her life partner and was very happy to know that she is all set and ready to rock. That’s something I always admire and adore her for. Her independent spirit. Yeah, a bit untamed she is, but I love that in her, makes her original, you know.. No other piece of mind you will find. Just as Shaid Kapoor states about Kareena in Jab we Met. She is the only piece around. As a matter of fact, all six of us are like that! I also had a conversation with my another best friend and she is looking forward to her marriage (arranged by her parents)

One thing I have learnt is that being happy doesn't mean every thing's perfect. It just means that you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!

PS – About the heart and mind conversation, please note. I am not mad. I am just as sane as all of you. Its just that there were three different thoughts which popped up within, so I named them as mind, heart and my true self. As you all know, what we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens.

Incidentally, the last few paragraphs, has some excerpts of the characteristics of my nutty gang. They are the characteristics of Jane, Preeti, Rupini, Prathi & Dolly. I am really lucky to have all of them in my life. Thank you girls! Because of you people, I at the least now what I want!!! I also thank my beloved friend Srini, for always being there. My discussions with him are never ending and boring for the man kind. After all.. You can never understand the conversation of wise men. We have similar interests which we follow in different paths. Thank you my dear man. I thank all my other friends and well wishers whose name I have not mentioned. However, all of you have made a significant impact in my life. Thank you all!

Cheers,
Centaur

Family & Friends...

2008-04-19T14:13:00.013+05:30

"Mudal Mazhai enai ninaithathey"….. buzzed my ring tone, bringing me back to my consciousness. I had been deeply thinking on the latest discussion with my friends, rather colleagues at office.. We were talking about family and we were talking about the way my friends spend time with their respective families.

My friend and his family spend a lot of time together. They go for movies, outings and have this huge family gathering thing. My best friends back home, also have the similar setting. One of my mad mad friend is the live wire of her entire groups.. She is always wanted, I keep wondering, how she manages to satisfy everybody. I have been always wondering what is that she really wants to do, other than the general shopping and eat-outs (which she generally does for everybody and some times for her also!!).. Her life or her biography would certainly being an interesting read and is worth a mixture of emotions. Hopefully should write her biographies in the forth coming years once I see her married, and the way she handles her family and friends and (dog) after that! I am sure she would be able to, and we, her friends are always there for her support! Things are never the same without her. She is "universal favourite" all said and done and faught!! Our heroine!!

Now.. I thought about my family.. My dad, a business man by profession, is perhaps one of the greatest men whom I really admire. He has this uncanny ability of discovering my needs before I find them and provides me with nothing but the best. He taught me how to ride a cycle, a scooter and the car. He bought me my first mobile. He has never said “No” to me for anything. There were days, when I used to use this to my advantage over my mum when I needed a new mobile or bike. He is always there! He was very supportive of me whenever I used to fail. He would not scold me, rather encourage me. I did pretty well in all subjects, other than Math and Physics, two subjects which I really really detest. A bad experience. However, he encouraged me as much as possible and is very supportive of me. Even when I left to the pearl city. I always admire him. He is one of the best dads in the world!

My mum, is the greatest one on Earth. She knows me, about what I am going to do next. She can just predict my future of the cuff. She has been my greatest financial banker through and through, right from my school days. She was also very strict till I was a teenager and the moment I crossed the teenage, she let me to fend myself on my own. She is always there for me. She is my first teacher and she is very spiritual. I have a feeling that she talks to God himself/herself. She is righteous by nature. And I am really lucky to have her around. She has the unique of way guiding me and governing my life. So as long as she is there, nothing can befall me. And if there is something, she will always warn me in advance. Over the years, I have learned that the hard way.

Now, the situation at home has always been busy. My dad, comes from office, and works on his relations with his counterparts from home. He is eternally busy. My mum, will be supervising the maid, or teaching my brother (till I entered college, she was teaching me). In my first year of college (my UG) I used to study in evening college and both my parents were working at that time. The only time I see them was in the morning between 7am to 10am after which they leave to office. Half way through my second year at college, she retired (voluntarily) from service to take care of my brother and me (perhaps) and I started going to computer classes and other activities. So I used to leave home at 11am and return by 9pm to have dinner. My dad and brother used to have dinner early while my mum and I have it at 9pm.

We had no TV in the house. Not that we could not afford it, but my parents had this thought process that the moment there is TV in the house, our grades drop low. So right from the time I was in ninth standard, we did not have a cable connection though we had a TV. I used to connect the cable (after a big fight with my mum) during holidays. My brother however, is a TV addict, proving their words. So my life was made miserable without a television for the last 10 years.

I missed all the fun of youth hood. I was not allowed to listen to music or watch TV as they “corrupt” young minds. So I had no idea about music. Whenever my friends use to talk about AR Rahman or any other national and international musicians, I always had my mouth shut. The only music I have been hearing for all those years are the Suprabatham by MS Subulakshmi, and religious songs. The books I have read are the Vedantas, Puranas, the Ramayana and the Mahabharatha. No other song other than religious songs can be played at home, and that too at a melodious tone.

All this made me look like a fool, when I entered my MBA where my friends talked about music, international movies, food joints. I was really in for a shock when I came to my MBA and my association with the rotaract movement. My total life started to change slowly when I was with my peer group.

Previously, during my tenure at Vivekananda College, a snack break would cost me ten rupees which consisted of a coffee and two bajjis. A lunch would cost around Rs 20 which had a mixture of two variety rice (usually sambar/tomato rice and curd rice).

Today a snack would cost as much as Rs 100 rupees for a chocolate brownie (equivalent to the chocolate cake available for Rs 2 in a tea shop) and a Barrista Blast (a cold coffee with a scoop of ice cream and cream topped with chocolate sauce) and my lunch again would cost Rs 50 for a mixture of red and yellow tasteless rice (called Biryani) at my “world-class” office cafeteria and another Rs 25 for an orange or apple juice and dinner would cost as much. The best part is that, these days, there is an Idly/Dosa Bhandi on the road leading to my office. It’s the best. I have the same feeling of eating at Viveka Fast food, my favorite lunch/snack spot back in Chennai during my college days. I get hot idly’s and dosas served to me. I get special attention from this guy also. The best part is that I cannot communicate to him, as he does not know Hindi or English. I learn a few words in telugu to communicate my needs. It would be like, “Babu, okkati plate idly / Dosa theesko” – meaning, give me a plate of idly/dosa. And the next line to him will be, “Dubbu enta??” meaning how much? (in terms of money) and he would tell me in telugu, which I some how understand and pay him. The food is healthy there, it has not yet harmed me, so I assume that it’s safe.

The cultural difference

So... I was in my MBA as usual in my own dream world and out of the blue, this young attractive lady by name Jane, whom I got myself introduced to few days back, came and sat by my side! I was shell shocked. A girl (like her) coming and sitting next to me? I must be dreaming! I was stunned though. The last time I ever saw a girl that close was in my tenth standard at Ashram, after which I had never communicated to them. We just sat side by side. Back then, I used to be the religious git, where I never talked to them until necessary. I never even shook hands. I was so religious and my friend in school thought of me as a pervert. I still cant comprehend how they came to that conclusion, nevertheless, it was engraved in my heart that women and girls are “bad people” till I reached MBA.

The moment Jane sat with me that day, I was trembling with fear. It was very unusual for me. I did not know why. May be she was scary. Well, the point is, I tried and answered her to the best of my knowledge. I am sure, she would have thought of me as the most stupidest guy on earth in the beginning (and yeah before I forget, she is one of my best-est friend today, and I seriously don’t know what my life would have been without her. Janey sweetheart just wanted to tell you, if you’re reading this, that you are my very special friend and we have a long way to go! I thank you for being there with me and most definitely, I miss you to the fullest! – love you always!)

My friends ask me why I don’t talk. Here is the truth. I don’t know what to talk about the topics they talk on!

Example:

What’s the latest music you’ve heard?

And my response in mind will be “Aditya Hridayam by some new guy) and I would just pick the last song I hear at a tea stall when I pass through the stall in the morning to get to college. Infact, I used to hear film songs only in tea-shops. Now, how could I tell that to them? They will continue to talk abut Brayan Adams, Shakira and Michael Jackson.

What’s your favorite band?

The only band I know is rubber band. So.. what do I tell them? I tell them its backstreet boys and I have heard just three songs from it, that too at a school cultural. They danced for the song (back street back) and sung “show me the meaning” & “You re.. my fire” and one more song I know is “Its gotta be you” and that’s all! I have no idea on the guys private life!!

What’s the latest book you read?

It would either be Tinkle, Gokulam, Chandamama or the Vedantic tales by Swami Vivekananda and to tell them, I would have to invent a name of a book and its author, because I cannot risk saying Sidney Sheldon. What if they ask me the name of the book or even worse, the book itself??

Where shall we go for coffee??

My thought would be Viveka fast food! And they would argue about coffee day, mocha or Reliance java green! Man.. I really did enjoy at those luxurious places though.

What’s your favorite TV serial?

I once saw Baywatch episode and I have started liking it due to Yasmine Bleeth, Pamela Anderson & Krista Allen and the other gorgeous babes running around and splashing in water with swim suit outfits. So will that make my favorite serial, even though I have watched it just once?

Shall we go for a movie?

Oh god! My parents think of movies as waste of time and money. They also think that the recent movies corrupt our minds, when actresses dance with a two piece dress with varying lengths (generally shortening by the sequence) What do I do now??? I have never gone for a movie. I don’t know how Shankar looks like. The only Hollywood movie I have seen is some Bruce lee movie (I don’t even know whether it’s a Hollywood movie, as I assume all English movies are Hollywood types)

The first time I saw an intimate seen (kissing on screen) I was stunned. It was a film named “pay-back” by Mel Gibson. I think that’s the first English movie I ever saw. I love watching movies, but I don’t know how to convince them.

I started seeing friends and their families only during my MBA times, where they used to go for family outings. The only place where my family is used to take me is temple after temple after temple. That defines my family. I have never had a direct talk with my parents on any subject other than Academics and Career, as of date. And now yeah, responsibility of being the eldest son is now talked about. They will not be discussing about my marriage for another 3 years, I hope. I still have a long way to go!

The only time I used to have fun with my family is when my grand parents were around, with my cousins (Arvind & Bhuvana) and uncles. We all used to play a card game, and together that was fun! My cousin Arvind & Bhuvana have also played a very important role in my life. The recent entry, my sister Archana, played another important facet of my life. The card games happen once a year!

My only sources of comfort were friends. I don’t talk much. I try to learn some of their lifestyle. I like thier life style. I believe that they suit me better. Its always how I wanted to be!! and I want it that way...

Music Update:

I started to listen to English songs and only selective songs say about 10 or twelve songs entered my mind. I am not able to understand why I don’t like the rest. So I just chuck it. I keep a track of Hindi songs, those are the ones I get access to from my friends (sometimes, its fiends also) from office. I don’t get the recent tamil songs. I don’t even get to see tamil movies here in Hyderabad. So whenever, I go to Chennai, I got to Richie Street and pick up a couple of DVD s of tamil movies and carry it back to Hyderabad. I now own an Ipod, which I got it during my MBA. I tried to put some songs, but they were only laughed at. I just managed to convince Jane that my friend updated it, after which, I leave updating the ipod to Jane or Prathi, whoever thought first that the songs should be updated. After I came to Hyderabad, it was Mahesh who did that. Now that he is leaving, I don’t know how on Earth I am supposed to get new songs. I know to update my Ipod, but where will I go for new songs?? So the next time I go to Chennai, I must either ask my Girls –(not my daughters or “girlfriends” but my best friends- Jane, Preeti, Prathi or Ruby) to share some songs.

I always have a feeling that they know about me and they did not want to make me feel small and hence did not talk about it. They liked my basic characteristics. What more can we look for in friends? The rest of knowledge they have on these things like music, band, movies serials are value additions.

Movie Updates:

I now have my laptop and an external hard drive with 93 GB space. So I have a lot of space. I do get high quality DVD rip movies from offices which are in English and Hindi only. Manageable though. That will take care of my entertainment as long as I am here. Whenever I visit Chennai, I visit Video today and copy movies into my hard disk. I have got my desktop ready now which has a DVD writer. So I have to start writing the old movies on to DVDs which I shall be starting shortly. I have this new thought of owning my private video collections. I have started though. I have a few movies written on CDs.

TV Serial Updates:

I started watching Friends and Sienfield. I have all the 10 seasons of friends. A duplicate print though, where most of the sequences are cut. The moment I get a new job, I am going to treat myself by buying the original set of Friends DVD that will cost me around 2 grand. I don’t mind it though. It’s the best serial ever and I have watched it 3 to 5 times all the seasons. I also like Sienfield. That guy is too good and makes me laugh. I used to watch enterprise. Its stopped now. I don’t know why. Its like star trek. I once watched desperate house-wife serial and its about sex! Well.. I am not saying more! I watch Kalaka Povadhu Yaru, in Sun TV if I get proper cable network. It does not take tamil channels in my house.

Book updates:

Thanks to Prathi and e-snips, I have read almost all the books of Shidney Sheldon, John Grisham, Harry Potter. I also developed a liking for self help books and books on finance. I now read a lot of e-books, other than psychology, religion and philosophy. I also have a small collection of books. I intend to have a private library again, once I get a decent paying job. As of now, My external hard-disk is my private library.

Recent Changes in my family:

Last time I visited home, I found my dad cooking and serving us food. That is something I have never seen in all my 23 years. I know my dad cooks. That’s about it. Serving food was my job. (This usually happens when my mum is affected with “physical impurity” every month for three days. I just don’t understand that concept either. My mum stays away in a room, sleeping on a mat and pillow. My dad used to follow that religiously till my mum crossed that stage. Thankfully, she now doe not need to be away for three days) I am glad that he is being helpful these days. My mum gets frequently tired these days. I suppose old age is troubling her and that in turn troubles me. I don't know what I would do without my mum..

I also see that my dad, mom and brother play cards almost every night. That was a serious shock to me. I thought my mum hates cards. However they all play together the famous card game. My dad takes time off and plays chess with my brother again. This was also a surprise for me. I am also told that they started to go to the movies with my brother. They also have started dining out. I just don’t understand. My mum is totally against outside food especially when it comes to hotels. That again was added to my shock. The last movie I went with my family was Pathaley Paravasm and the one before that was Vanamey Ellai. We went to the former movie because the last temple we had to see was closed early (at Injambakam) and I was fed up that day and screamed at my mum. My dad just quickly entered Prarthana theatre just to shut me up. Now I hear that they go to movies once a month and they have dinner outside. They are playing with my brother now. They now blame me.

This privilege was not given to me when I was young. I lost all that. My family was a place where I had food, my finances were taken care of, my academics and career was censured and discussed. No fun! And now they blame me for not staying at home.

Being a typical Saggi, I just can’t stay at home when I am in Chennai. I have a lot of friends with whom I want to spend my time with. I cannot take or participate in any fun activity they plan, because I am never a part of that fun which they have now. I have fun only when I am with my girls or my UG friends. I am out all the time. To satisfy my parents, I am at home during lunch or the day after I reach home. They speak about my brother or my health, career and finance. That’s the only topic of our discussion.

It is too late for me, to go back and enjoy with my family. To me, family means responsibility, respect, moral support, financial and career advise, in short everything other than fun and happiness derived thru family. I always love and respect my family. As the eldest son, I am preparing myself to take lead in the family in a year. I miss my mum’s food here, I miss fighting with my Dad (when I wear his shirts) and yet I am at peace here when left to myself. I am not surprised. I am now getting ready for another face of situations. My best friends, the girls, Time has come for them to get married. I will be seeing very less of them post their marriage. That is going to be worse. Nevertheless, I understand that they will have a family to attend to. After all, I don’t want my wife to be partying all the time with her friends. (I will obviously not permit that!) Once in a way is okay; not everyday! She has to attend to the family she married in. That does not mean her alone. The same rule will apply to me. I will have to attend to her and be with her. (Incidentally, the next blog of mine which is under completion is about my expectations from my life partner… )

To me fun means with friends, which is either my girls or UG friends. That’s about it. In Hyderabad, there are colleagues and not friends. I have just stumbled upon a big group of tamil gang on the other side of the floor. I look forward to build my relationship with them. I at least laugh when I am with them. I also got another tamil friend on my floor. I have a good time with him. I go for dinner with him. I enjoy his company. Rest of the time, its my laptop and Ipod which keeps me ticking!

End line: Thank you girls, for all the fun we had together. Definitely things are going to change. I know all of us hate change. However change is inevitable. I have always been truly happy for these two years. What ever time I get, till you girls get married are extra special and valuable to me. You people are my family.. Love you all. Thanks for walking into my life. I will always hope the best for your future! I may or may not be around. But wherever I go, I will carry with me, all our wonderful memories....

Love,
Sathiya Narayanan R V

Tagged Yet Again..........................

2008-04-14T16:30:00.007+05:30

I have been tagged again, by my dumb best friend, who knows me much better than I know about myself. I hate it. However, she is one of my best friends, so I really cant say anything more..

I enjoy doing tags easier, because I don’t have to put a lot of effort on my thought process, which is literally blank these days. So.. here we go..

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?

Last movie I saw at the theaters is Jodha Akbar. I saw two other movies on that day, alone, like a man who has gone bonkers. I was celebrating my one year stay at the Pearl City.

2. What book are you reading?

One of a self help books titled “Go, Put your strengths to work” a gift by my respected and admired friend, Manoj Koundinya. I am just trying to figure out if I can do something productively at my work.

3. Favorite board game?

Business Trade (Because I will have a lot of money, not to mention the houses, cities of India and hotels I will buy with that ;) ) and Chess (I love strategy games)

4. Favorite magazine?

I d prefer Tinkle Digest any day. No adult stuff, only good humor and subtle wisdom. I like comics very much. I have taken a liking towards Astro magazine, just to find out about my impending dreadful future.

5. Favorite smells?

Sandalwood & Musk and Old Spice after shave ;)

6. Favorite sounds?

One of my best friend’s voice. It kind of rejuvenate my spirits..

7. Worst feeling in the world?

Being wronged when one is absofucksolutely right & the entire evidence is not in their favor & Not trusting attitude (I am non-forgiving when it comes to the latter)

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?

I think about how my life was when I was back at Home in Chennai during my college days.

9. Favorite fast food place?

Hotel Tamil Nadu, a small food joint (at Hyderabad), around the corner of my house. The guy brings my food without me having to order for them.

10. Future child’s name?

Well, it’s a decision I will have to take with my wife (who will also have some expectations too and it will be the right thing to take a joint decision on that) but now I am currently single. So I don’t have to worry about this till I am married.

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?”

I would own 10 high profit business establishments, 1 charity organization and a villa at all the Metro’s of India, frequently traveling all around the world.

12. Do you drive fast?

Yes, when I drive alone. I don’t if I have a pillion rider or a co-passenger, as I will be responsible for their life.

13. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

No.. but with a pillow..

14. Storms - cool or scary?

Storms – Cool! I d love to watch them and be near them. There is so much of a wind you will never get anywhere. I wont venture close to them anyways..

15. What was your first car?

I have just started to earn my living. It will be quite some time before I purchase a car. I intend to get an Toyota Innova or Mahindra Scorpio when I can.

16. Favorite drink?

I have taken a recent liking to Barrista Blast available at Barrista or Swiss Chocolate.

17. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?

…write a book about each of my best friends.

18. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?

Nope! I don't eat broccoli either!

19. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?

I don’t want to dye my hair. I was bald for a year. I have just got my hair back. I m not willing to risk it for anything.. So I won’t!

20. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?

Chennai, Mailaduthurai and Hyderabad…

21. Favorite sport to watch?

Cricket (T20 match when India plays)

22. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?

She is the most caring person one can ever have.. However, she told me that she would send me a message every day. I still have not received that other than her “new blog out” messages. I have asked about this many times, but she just manages to give that question a slip.. So other than this... She is the Best(est)..

23. What’s under your bed?

A Sturdy wooden cot....

24. Would you like to be born as yourself again?

No. I don’t want to be born again....

25. Morning person, or night owl?

Depends on the requirement or occasion...

26. Over easy, or sunny side up?

Over easy??

27. Favorite place to relax?

Elliots Beach at Chennai, proximity to the water front.

28. Favorite pie?

Apple pie, with chocolate ice-cream

29. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Amore’s Ferrorocher!

30. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?

Srinivas

I tag Srini & Jane to do this activity.

Readers, your comments please..

Cheers,

Techno Maniac

Tagged!!!

2008-04-01T00:20:00.009+05:30

Okay.. this will sound crazy.. but I cant help it! Just following on, in the lines of Preeti the great!

1. My name: Sathiya Narayanan R V (P3 calls me Satti or Satti batti, depending on her crazy mood, Dolz calls me as Satty, I have not seen how Ruby spells my name, though she calls me satti/y, Jane calls me teddy & Praveen and gang call me Maharaja! )

1a) Work Profile: Working as Associate Marketing Analyst at Deloitte Hyderbad, far away from Friends and Family. Earnestly trying to get back!

2. I was born in a hospital some where in Chennai.

3. I can’t understand Women / Girls. So damn complicated and dash (btw the best of my friends, are all gurlz (and I love them a lot.. they are my true assets).. Imagine my plight! I just stay silent which irks them! I love bugging them!!) Seriously…

4. I talk when its absofucksolutely required. I have this bad habit of Foot in Mouth Syndrome. I'm not proud of it.

5. My phone is eternally free. I can be reached at any point of time by anybody! Alternatively, I love emails, orkut and have taken a great liking to facebook recently!

6. I love to be with my nutty gang in Chennai (includes Vysh (sadly she is leaving top the US on April 4th), Jane, Preetz, Prathi, Ruby & Dolz). They actually rejuvenate my spirits so that I will be able to slog for another whole month when I get back to Hyderabad.

7. I'm a Ph. D holder in Alternate Medicines. I don’t practice medicine, as the Indian Government is not yet open to Acupuncture. I am also an approved Yoga Instructor. I have a flexible body (and attitude) despite my size.

8. I looooveeeeee Friends series. I have seen them like 20 times now, all 10 seasons. I never get bored of them. The Friends series is what, keeps me ticking in Hyd.

9. I have a laptop, an IBM laptop which I bought during my MBA. It has never let me down (touch wood!!!) It’s my greatest and closest companion in my life! I spend minimum of 8 hours per week with her. (Yeah.. I think it’s a her, cause I cant understand its functioning methods!! Seriously!!)

10. I love gadgets. I am a techno maniac. I love technology and would always love to own the latest gadgets.. I cannot do so now, as my damn company pays me pittance! I love luxury!!

11. I hate to work out. However, I will find myself at the Gym every day (Mon –Fri)! I hate being stout and fat. So I force myself to shed a little bit of weight here and there.

12. I have BIG plans. I dream big. I don’t know how much I will achieve. But I do work towards my ambitions. I always have high goals and ambitions. I expect too much from me!

13. I love to develop my community. I follow the saying, "Give a man a fish, you will save him from hunger for a day. Teach a man how to fish, you will have fed him for his whole life time". I facilitate English and Computer classes for support staffs at my organization and also facilitate soft skills and personality development classes for people who learn at tutorial colleges. I always believe that I should do something to improve my community. I am a member of the Rotaract movement, wherein I held top posts last year. I m still respected and wanted there!

14. I love helping friends. I just cant get enough friends. I love to spend time with them. I love organizing events, parties and reunions. I love be the host for any function!

15. I come from a very conservative Brahmin family (proper Iyer athu Payan). We all love each other, but that just stays in our minds and hearts. Family outing means visiting temple after temple after temple. However, my attitude towards life is a mixture of Brahmanism and Modern Life.

I guess this should do now. Will save the rest for similar future tags ;) Oh and btw, I tag Srini & Jane to do this!

Readers, your comments please...

Ever Yours,

Sathiya Narayanan R V

For all of them who missed their first love.....

2008-02-11T18:29:00.000+05:30

Heya Ppl,

Love is in the air with Valentine's Day around the corner. Just thought I d put a short piece in it. This piece is not my own creation... However, this is the way I feel & felt something towards First Love..

I am not gona ask for comments.. I will be happy, if you could chip in tho! Have a nice read!

The Story revolves around a guy, by name Karthik. The story is narrated by him, this point forward...

It was quarter to one at night when I hit the door bell. My wife opened the door. She had been awake as usual. Waiting for me had become a daily routine for her. Unlike I expected, the house looked normal. I put my laptop on the recliner and went straight into my bedroom, freshened up and got busy with the book - "An autobiography of a yogi."

My wife came in with a piece of cake in her hand. "We waited for you till 9. But it was getting late and your parents pushed to carry on and finish", she said handing over that cake to me. Something stung me deeply for it was my daughter's first birthday. I had almost forgotten that I had a daughter and a feeling of guilt told me that I did not deserve that piece of cake; it felt heavy when the first bite went down my throat.

"Karthik," she used to call me by name, "look at me", she said. I turned my gaze away from the book onto her face. I saw tears in her eyes. "Have I, in the last two years, ever asked you why you come home late every day? Have I ever asked you to take me out with you, even to the temple that you go alone every weekend? Have I ever told you how it feels to attend family functions without you?" I turned back to the book. "Karthik, please look at me, will you? I need an answer today."

I always knew that I would have to face this sometime. "No, you wouldn't understand even if I tell", I replied. "Really? What is it? Please tell me. I know that you agreed to our marriage only because you did not want to disappoint your parents. I know that I'm your wife only for the sake of it. But why should Gaargi suffer because of all this? Doesn't she deserve to be called your daughter? What is her fault?" my wife asked with tears running down. She had never cried in front of me. I looked at my one year old daughter; Gaargi was special to me, for her name reminded me of a very special person in my life.

"Srishti, I am really very sorry. I don't know how to tell all this and I'm not sure how you'll take it. You are not my first love. I had never liked any girl in my life until I met a very nice person who, I decided, would not only be my first love but also the only love in my entire life", my eyes started to fill up, "I can never imagine my life without…" "Your mother told me. I know everything but I wanted you to tell", she interrupted. I wasn’t surprised; two years is a very long time for a secret to be kept in a family. It looked like she wanted me to somehow raise this and then she started.

"Karthik, have I ever made you feel that I had been betrayed by someone who I thought would be the only person in my life?" Her question confused me for a moment, 'Is she talking about me?' I asked myself. "He, not you, was the first man in my life and I too had dreamt that he will be the only one ever. But our relationship collapsed after 5 months of our engagement when I came to know that he was already married. My parents were more than broken when they found this out, for they were the ones who had found this person through some marriage bureau. I went into depression and had attempted suicide twice, but somehow survived. See, even God does not want me. So I decided to live on as life takes me, although I knew that I will not be able to forget any bit of it."

It took some time for all this to sink in. I was perplexed.

"Karthik, I know that you too had given all the love of your life to her. I also know that she never reciprocated your love and that she was never ready to accept you as her man even though you were ready to sacrifice yourself for her. But don't you think it should always flow both ways? Don't you think that it is not worth crying over someone who cannot feel your love? Is it fair on your part to ignore someone who is craving for your love and actually deserves it? Look into my eyes. Don't you see anything which suggests that I deserve to be loved by you? I know Karthik, I know that there's some space in your heart that has been made for me. I can see it in your eyes too. When I look into them I do not feel sad that there's a lot of pain in it. Instead I see that part of it which tells me that I'm not completely unwanted. So I ask you the same thing that you had asked her, 'Please give me a chance'. Don't tell me that you cannot love me even a little. I know you do and Gaargi is the proof."

I could not speak more. Srishti too could not. She rested her head on my shoulder. For the first time I kissed on her forehead.

---------------------End-----------------------

Techno Maniac : I guess that is what one has to learn. First love is very special. It is something to be remembered for a lifetime but not something for which an entire life can be wasted in grieving over it.

Sometimes you get what you want...

Sometimes you get what you need...

But you're always gonna get what you DESERVE !!!

Cheerz...

Firangipanieeeeee.....

2008-01-23T14:52:00.000+05:30

Sometimes, it is so surprising how a person, so sincere in thought word and deed, enjoy their time when they get to be their own self. I am about to relate one such incident, which I noticed last weekend.

Yuwa came home on Sunday, to spend time with me. Later that evening, he planned to go to the famed city centre, which was a place famous for “bird-watching”. I as usual, was bored to death. I some-how don’t accept the concept of bird-watching. Who cares about my opinion these days?? With things happening around me, I am so grieved, that I don’t know what is happening in my own friends’ life, being 800 km away from my home town. As Jane puts it, Friends keep moving on in life, they don’t move away from your life. Yet they move. They have their own life, and they need to care about it. How right she was! I have to learn to accept the fact! I learnt the hard way.

Now it so happened, that, I had with me, Ashok, a guy from work, who was my friend in grief (being fat, traditional and stupid like me) was at my home, due to the fact that he lost his key of his apartment and had to wait for another 24 hours for his roommate to courier the key.

So, me, Yuwa and Ashok embarked our long journey. We reached city centre in about 20 minutes. We had another guy, Vedant, an International Rotaractor from Washington DC, USA, who was to join us. We met him outside McDonalds and headed inside to have the famed “Mc Veggie” burger. Once we were “snacked” and watered, we went walking within the plaza. On the way, Yuwa met his manager and he invited him to Firangipani.

What is Firangipani?

Firangipani is a pub! A famed pub, where the best of “gimpachak gilmas” i.e., in plainer terms, the posh society of the ultra –modern women/couples hang out. The rates are as expensive as in Taj and the Welcome Group hotels.

I politely told Yuwa, that I will be unable to come, considering the fact that I was robed in a T – Shirt, Jeans and Chappals aka Sandals. I asked him to carry on, and take Ashok & Vedant, if they willed to come. Ashok politely refused to leave my side. Vedant was in a dilemma. However, Yuwa is one damned guy, who will not take a “No” for an answer. He just collared us right to the entrance of the pub. The guy at the entrance, took one look at me clad in Sandals, Jeans and T shirts.. I suppose he assumed that, I was a CEO or a president of some company, looking at my over-all appearance and the way I sounded when I asked him the entrance to Firangipani.

I walked in along with Yuwa and Asok on each side and Vedant, behind me. The nearest bartender immediately greeted me and my company. However, Yuwa, waved him off and took us to the place where his bosses were seated. To my dismay, I found that, his bosses, were from the UK! Wow. I thought. Boy, I should have made a “good” first impression. We exchanged polite hellos and I was asked about my company and job profile. I came up with a lovely story and was amazed at my own cleverness in weaving such a wonderful story, which can qualify to make a good drama movie.

The bosses were already sipping a pitcher of drought beer each already and they asked us to order. Having a throat infection, I politely refused to have a drink. Vedant, however, accepted what was offered to him and Ashok refused, as he was suffering from cold. Yuwa, bribed him by giving the fact that, having brandy along with hot water and pepper reduces the cold. Ashok first struggled. Then, he eventually accepted. First, he ordered, a 30 ml of Brandy along with hot water. He ordered for one more, and again, one more. I looked at him, sipping my black coffee. He raised the fourth glass to his lips, and gulped it one go. And there he was, losing his senses.

I sat there like a stupid bloke, watching them get drunk. I suddenly noticed, that Ashok, was not participating in our conversation. I followed his eyes, and found myself, staring at a hot, beautiful girl, dressed in red. I don’t know what happened next, but I felt myself getting high! Without alcohol! Impossible, I thought, and decided to shake my head. My eyes, however, was stuck on her. She caught my eyes at the same moment and smiled ruefully, (I am sure) laughing at the fact that guys like me were “watching” her. Ashok was totally knocked down by her. No matter how much I tried, he was just not able to take his eyes off her. An hour later, the hot girl left the pub. I thought, it was time that he would get back to the topic under discussion. However, his eyes, were scanning the dance floor and found another girl, not as hot as the red one. But this women was mad! She had no inner garments. We could in fact see her womanliness’ silhouetted on her slender frame. I felt, for a moment, that I surely must not be in India! My best friends are very modern women. However, none of them, dress this way. This was too much. That girl was wearing a tight white dress and it is obvious again, that she “wants” to be noticed. Else, no girl, in her god damn good mind, would dress that way.

I turned my head, to the other side of the dance floor. My eyes grew wide to the size of tea cups. Two people were making out on the couch! Damn! I know sex is something interesting. Man.. But.. One must be able to control his/her senses, when in a public place. A peck on the cheek or even lips can be acceptable.. but not smooching and touching!

I took my vision back to the dance floor. Damn.. Guys and girls were stuck on each other again! It was like watching soft porn free of cost! The way, India is changing, culturally. I don’t know! I stated these statements to the group of guys sitting there. One guy, who was Yuwa’s friend, told me that, the chances of getting a virgin girl from Hyderabad is about 2%. I was shocked at this statistics.

I decided to leave. That’s when Yuwa decided to have the last drink, the fifth time. He ordered tequilas this time, for the six of them. Ashok was in it too1 I was shocked. I knew, Ashok had a drink now and then, but, this was much beyond his limits. I decided to let him, not wanting to dampen his spirits. He had three rounds of tequilas.

Yuwa, Vineet, Vedant began to dance. They called Ashok and me, and both of us politely refused. I was determined to get Ashok back to his senses. I asked the bartender, to get the menu book. I opened and had a look at the rates. Shock and surprise floated my brains. The rate of 30 ml was equivalent to the rate of the whole bottle, sold at wine shops. I showed this to Ashok. Just as I anticipated, his eyes grew wide. Yuwa was earning around 50 k per month and he could afford to spend that much. Ashok and myself had barely begun our careers. He immediately became sober! Yuwa came along and pulled him to the dance floor, leaving me with my thoughts. They were all dancing and I could see Ashok dancing too! Surprising! He did make silly moves, he was dancing like an idiot. Yet, he enjoyed dancing. I could see how happy he was judging him by his expressions.

I recollected the last time I was in a pub. With my own set of friends. My very own best friend surprised me. My friend was smoking, got drunk and was on the high. I remember seeing my friend clearly dancing and I could also see people falling on my friend. I just could not bare it. I tried going to get my friend off the floor. I was blasted by my friend for that. I had acted over protective. I cannot see my friend being like that. I don’t even know whether my friend remembers what was being told to me by them. Nevertheless, my friend got back to the dance floor once again. I decided that, it was the last time; I will be accompanying my friend to a pub. I had been hurt very much by due to the blast I received from my friend. I know it’s not wrong to let your hair down and unwind once in a way. Nevertheless, I could not see my friend in that stage. However, friendship is accepting friends as they are. Nevertheless, I can never hate my best friend nor could I distance myself from them, as we were far apart those lines. My friend is the best to me. I know my friend needs me, as much as I need my friend. It’s just another difference in opinion. I only wished good for my friend. However, it had been unwise of me to tell my friend my views. I was true to my friend. It was their discretions to accept my views or not. I knew, I was being stupid and traditional. I just can’t help it. I am trying to change myself, as best as I can, for one, can never change the ways of the world. One can change only themselves to adapt to the ways of the world. I have been brought up in a traditional family! Accepting these facts was tough! I cannot! I just can’t! I am in a catch 22 situation! Trying to improve... After all, after my friend gets married, I will anyways have to keep going on, as they have a family to take care off! I should never be a bundle of worries for them..

I shifted back to reality. It was high time we left. The guys ere back, tired and drenched in sweat. We all lumbered out of the pub. The time was almost 12.30 am. We said our good byes. Ashok, Yuwa and me, went to the parking lot to retrieve my bike. The auto guys were demanding Rs 300 to take us back. So we decided to go triples on my poor old fella, TVS Victor.

Victor has never failed me as of date. The most sincere friend, I ever had. I apologized to him and told him that he had to help us this time. We started our trip back home. I just crossed the signal, and Yuwa began to sing. Ashok followed suit. I tried shutting them up. Nevertheless, it did not work. Two drunken guys, on my bike, singing loudly. I just thought of the odds, if we were caught. Sure imprisonment for all of us.

Every fiber in my body, prayed to God almighty to take us safe back home. I dropped Yuwa at his guest house and Ashok and me left to my place. Ashok had not stopped singing. The few motorists crossing us was looking at us in a queer fashion. We were at the safety of our home, in few minutes.

Ashok changed and went to his bed. I was just preparing my bed. I saw the look of happiness in his face. Truly, he has never been in such a state. I was happy for him in one way. I placed a couple of desprins, a tumbler and a bottle of water next to his bed, sure of a hang-over the next morning.

I tucked myself to bed. Closed my eyes, thinking about what Life had in store for me. Life is too huge a place for worries. This line suddenly popped in my head. Between stimulus and response, is a space. In that space, lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In those choices, lies our growth and happiness. It is the choices that show us, who we truly are. Though I have been nurtured in the philosophy of self determinism, the way the idea was phrased, the space between the stimulus and response, hit me with unbelievable force. It was idea, whose time had come. I reflected on it again and again. It had a powerful effect on my life and thinking.. SUMO (Shut Up and Move On!) I thought.. I felt my consciousness drift away, to the land of dreams!

The Seven Cakes

2008-01-17T21:11:00.000+05:30

"THE BEST-EST CAKE"

I have always dreamed about cutting cakes. I come for a very traditional family, where only blood relatives are the only source of support and others are termed as strangers and killers or demoralizers. My family does not believe in cutting cakes and inviting friends over. Well, how does that affect me? The thing is, my friends are my life. As in I have a lot of people who drop in and out of my life. A few of them are a part of my life. Few of them manipulate me. A few motivate me. I live a totally chaotic and unbalanced life, amidst a war. I am 800kms away from home. I loose many a battles, win a few, with only one goal. I need to win the war. I direct all my strength towards winning the war. To succeed, you can lose a few battles but you must win the war. Life and luck is not fair. Our Life consists of two halves, Luck and Discipline respectively. You need the other half more to use the Luck wisely. Now luck so favored me with 7 cakes…

Cakes… I am about to relate the incidents of the best birthday ever in all these 13 years of my life. I had to cut seven cakes! I missed out cutting cakes for the past decade. I suppose, luck did payout one installment of cakes! Let me describe to you the process!

1. Midnight Cake

It was 11.00PM, and I was about to leave office. Usually, this guy will be standing at my workstation at quarter to 11 ordering me to pack up for the day. This time, he wanted to “over work” the obvious excuse; I gave him on his birthday. (Man.. cant people come up with new ideas??) A couple of minutes before twelve, he asks me to come to the cafeteria, where a whole bunch of our colleagues sit, waiting for me. They all smile at me in their seats. I go up to the cake, smiling along the way, and stand next to the cake. I cut the cake after which a thundering applause follows, and I find a small piece of cake coming in my direction. I open my mouth and the cake falls into my mouth and a bit of the cream on my face. I excuse myself and go over to the men’s room to wash the cream off my face. I return and find no one the spot. My mobile beeps, expecting, a birthday message, I find Mahesh asking me to come to the parking lot..

Thanks Mahesh.. I will always remember my midnight cake!

2. Team Cake

This cake, was wonderful, both in-terms of experience and taste. It was a cake ordered from my own team at my office. I was furiously working on an Auditing project, when one of my colleagues asks me to accompany him for a cup of tea and I refuse. He pressurizes me and locks my computer. I got up from my workstation and the entire floor is deserted. I immediately knew what was about to come. I went with Srinath and people were standing around the cake waiting for me. I share my birthday with another dude from my department. We had two cakes. I picked my usual favorite, a chocolate excess cake from Barista. I cut the cake amidst the happy birthday song. Cake is smeared all over my face and I looked like an old aged gorilla. After, I cut the cake, I searched for friends, who I have very good rapport with and went to them. It lasted for 20 minutes, I got a lot of attention. It was worth the moment. The cake idea was from my team.. Thanks to those Priyanka and Srinath, who made my day! Made me feel real special.

3. The "Masala" Cake

This cake was from yet another bloke, who happened to be very close to me. He totally forgot my birthday and I having no sense of shame, reminded him of my birthday at 10pm on my birthday. I was about to leave on my birthday, and he stood out at my office. The moment, he saw me, he rushed to me and gave me a hug. Tears formed in my eyes. He had made a lot of fun of me, he also had fun on my expense, but was always present some how. Ours is a symbiotic relationship, nevertheless, I had lot of fun with him in my college days. We went back home, and the moment we entered, he took out a box with pieces of cakes and stuffed it in my mouth and all over my face. Mad nut he was, but I could feel the sense of friendship from him. I will be ever indebted to him, somewhere down the line. Thanks Masala.. Your kindness will never be forgotten.

4. The “Sexcee Six” Cake

Well, I must say, as my best friend Jane says, the”best-est” cake which was full of real love and trust from my gang of crazy nutz. Again, it was very much expected from their end. I went to visit them on the day of my arrival to my hometown. And there they were, with the cake, a choclate truffle! I don’t understand, on why people waste the cream, yet again, I found myself like the old gorilla. We met for lunch, and had a great time. My sister and Srini – my best friend from school also happened to grace the occasion. It was the best time I had in all these years. Surrounded by my friends who are closest to my heart. Friends for whom I d die for.

5. The “SexeE” Cake

I was on my way back from a local Ayurvedic shop, when I “accidentally” ran into my old friend from my tution (when I was in 12th grade). She was a uncontrollable sexy freak, whom I really fancied those days (so did many guys) and she remembered my birthday! and there I was, whisked (yup… irrespective of my size) to the nearest bakery with a cake surrounded by ice creams and puffs and other snack items. I was however touched by her kindness. She sat next to me like old times, laughing a lot and you know….. She has a wonderful way of dressing, that makes the guys concentrate on her middle part of the body.. She drives guys crazy, and she was doing the same today. She had never changed in all these years.. The worst part of all, is that she was married! She sat by my side, I could feel the heat rising from me. I had a tough time controlling myself. Its nearly impossible to control a guy’s senses, when you see a girl, whom you fancied, adorned with an almost transparent dress and a clear display of magnificient cleavage. Damn! Well, when I did tell her about the way she dressed, I got back the same old answer she gives.. She “wants” to be noticed! I told her that, I hoped that she won’t be “noandified” (a Tamil vernacular double meaning word). She ended up laughing. We chatted for a couple of hours, proving Einstein's theory of relativity. (Time really flies when you are with a beautiful girl). Anyways, she was one girl, whom I really liked, for her attitude and intelligence. She used to do my math home work for me and even show me answers during the tests at tuitions.

Finally, after a couple of hours of exchanging miseries and few “innocent” sights (from my end, obviously) we parted with a hug. Man… She rocks! Thanks Sunanda.. You will remain special!

6. The Rotaract Cake

It was 6 months, since I attended a Rotaract meeting. I went there, and seated myself at the farthest end of the room. My presence was noticed. I was immediately hauled up to the front, and was asked to address the gathering. I delivered a motivating speech, a speech that would help them to pool in a lot of money from the crowd and also a 30% increase on the volunteer list. I also had to inaugurate the “Rotaract corpus fund” and had to cough up 1k, to save my ego and position. Rotaract always have methods to get money huh? Nevertheless, the money was going for a good cause, just that it was going on a wrong time, when I was waging a battle with my finances.

At the end of the function, a cake came out from the nearest box, and people who celebrated their birthdays were asked to come forward. I stood alone in front of the crowd. Everybody got up and stood around a HUGE strawberry cake. The Birthday song was sung and I cut the sixth cake!

7. The Unexpected Cake

This was the last cake. It happened on Ruby’s Birthday, after her birthday though! After her birthday celebrations, we went to our (sexcee six) headquarters. I was made to to go back to my friend’s place to retrieve a gift that they had forgotten for “her”. When I came back to the coffee shop, I entered thru the back entrance, and found a candle sitting on a piece of cake. The moment they saw me on the back entrance, the nutz were surprised (they expected me thru the front entrance and hid the cake behind the menu card) and then sung out the happy birthday song to me. I was surprised! It was Ruby’s birthday and I was about to sing, till I saw Ruby sing. Then it struck me. They did catch me off – guard. The entire group was present. I cut the seventh cake amidst mixed feelings.

This was surely the best birthday I had ever. Thanks to those girls, who mad3e my life worth living. Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.

I've learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. And if you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world.

A New Entry!!

2007-11-27T16:32:00.000+05:30

Dear Readers.. (I know all my best friends are the poor readers here).. the point anyway is.. I wondered, IF ever this is possible.. But yes.. after a long long time.. I have finally found my sister again..

I Introduce to you all, Archie.. My loving sister.. a litreature freak and a academic genius, related to me, by thickest of blood. She is a great classical dancer also. Presently studying first year engineering.. She shall be featuring in my blogs and will also visit my frequent hangouts occassionaly...

Welcome Archie.. I never regret the moment we recognize each other as an inspiration to each other. I love having you you in my life... Few more days, before you see the wonder world I M in.. I am sure you will enjoy... You will be properly introduced to my world four angels.. and once they are in.. your life will change... trust me..

Welcome Aboard...

(more details next blog in december mid week)

Cheers
Satti

A New Reflection

2007-11-14T15:24:00.001+05:30

Another wonderful memory... my old school!

Intro

What can be more wonderful, to meet your childhood friends??? Friends, whom you have seen, 13 years back, and meet them? Well, I am about to relate to you about my rendezvous with my friends.

Scenario

I was studying at Lady Andal Venkat Subba Rao School, from Lower Kinder Garden (popularly known as LKG) to fourth grade. After which, I fled to The Ashram Matric Higher Secondary School, where I repented for the last 10 years of my life at school.

A Retrospect

I was sitting at my office, a week before Diwali, staring at the reddish-orange sky at the famed Hitec City, which was 800 kms away from my paradise – a place lovingly known as home! Located in the magnificent city of Chennai, where even nature competes against each other (Eratai Elai Vs Udaya Suryan) to rule the holy land of Tamil Nadu

I was in deep retrospection that day, almost everyday, as projects were scanty during these times. I was thinking of my old school, the loveliest place, where I saw the true world. I regret my leaving Lady Andal, for the fact that it had the most teen babes of Chennai – the crème de la crème, none the less.

I pondered, the last time, I contacted my friends at Lady Andal. It was almost a decade back, when we from Ashram attended their cultural program. I met, my buddy Rajarajan, who was supposed to be my best of friends in school, during my childhood.

Memories

Old memories washed over me.. Memories of me running around the corridors, fearing a teacher called Radha Jayakumar, who used to thunder in a TVS XL. She was a strict teacher and I used to detest her to the fullest. I also seem to remember, another favorite teacher of mine, by name Vijaylakshmi Kutty, the sweetest teacher we ever had. I also remember, the most ravishing principal we had, Mrs Vashima Goel, a wonderful lady, whom all respected and loved. I heard that she is working for some children development organization in Singapore. She was a woman, to whom any child would bond immediately. I still remember her, in a lovely Yellow Pattu Sari, would walk by our corridor and stick her cute little head into our class, and wish us. It was lovely having her as our principal. Well, all good things must come to an end, so did her tenure. She decided to shift to Singapore. Our grief mounted, and we sent her off with an ocean of tears.

The very next day, I walked in to class, my English teacher was already there, I wanted to talk to Rajarajan, my friend, about teasing another guy, one Mr Dameeja, who was my arch rival in my time. I found this lady sitting there calmly. Now, terror spread to my face, when I entered the class. The entire class was also frozen. You see, she has never been a calm person, and when she is calm, it meant trouble.. Big trouble. You see, in the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying. Like the teacher in front of me. She was known to us as Kamala Mennon, the most dreaded and hated principal during my time. We hated her as a teacher, and now we hate her as the principal. The hate keeps going on for ever. We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them. It was the case with her.

She smiled as soon as the bell rang. She announced herself as the principal of our school and had a smug expression on her face. What has Vashima Goel done? My brain screamed. She had limited her choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, She disconnect herself from what we truly wanted, and all that is left was a compromise.

Eccentricity

I was in a state of frenzy madness, a state that can be called as eccentricity. Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd.

I was unable to do anything. I was Vashima’s favourite student, my arch rivals were at bay, during the first three years. Now I was imposed at their mercy. Kamala menon, developed a great and peculiar liking to me, making me look like a fool in front of the class. She also twists my ears everytime, I don’t answer her question, or even ask a question. I reckon, after she did that for a whole year, my ears have become as big as elephant ears. Just that they don’t flap.. She used to ridicule me for asking stupid question, when ever I decide to ask her a question. If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? I pondered.. I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these kinds of teachers and to these kind of people who taught me silence, tolerance and kindness.

Allies and Enemies

Well, Mr Dameeja, Mr.Shamiq (my classmates) and Mrs Kamala Mennon, made a formidable team,( like the mighty Aussies, but nevertheless, they did face a few losses here and there, in the manner in which India crushed Australia into smithereens in th T20 match. It was a reason for us to celebrate). They made sure, that they screwed my happiness, whenever they get the chance. They made me participate in football, knowing well, that I have a flat foot, and the PT master supported them by adding insult to injury. As Mark Twain put it “The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane”. I learnt that the spread of evil is the symptom of a vacuum. Whenever evil wins, it is only by default: by the moral failure of those who evade the fact that there can be no compromise on basic principles.

This to will pass, was my motto. When things went beyond control, I took to SERE (Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape) and landed at Ashram. That’s how I ended up in The Ashram Matric. Never did I expect that I was moving from the frying pan, into the fire! We allow our ignorance to prevail upon us and make us think we can survive alone, alone in patches, alone in groups, alone in races, even alone in genders....

A Short Reality

Ankhon Me Teri… my phone rang.. I looked at it absentmindedly. It was my friend calling me for snacks, an activity, I made sure that I never missed out and carried it out with a zeal of passion. It's amazing how pervasive food is. Every second commercial is for food. Every second TV episode takes place around a meal. In Hyderabad, you can't go ten feet without seeing or smelling a restaurant. There are 20 foot high hamburgers up on billboards. There are lines of Bhandis on the road, selling chat items. I am acutely aware of food, and its omnipresence is astounding. We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.

After a sumptuous feast over a variety of chats, samosas, and kheer, I trudged back to the floor, with a heavy stomach, and a full bladder. I sat there in my workstation, checking mails idly and thinking about my impending future. Comically, future is an opaque mirror. Anyone who tries to look into it sees nothing but the dim outlines of an old and worried face.

The Stepping Stone (er.. Mail)

Just then, the forward which had the history of Orkut came before my eyes. My hand was reaching the delete button on the end of my keyboard. I skimmed thru the lines, and then, out of the blue, my hand automatically minimized my outlook window and went to orkut, and I found myself typing Lady Andal Venkata Subba Rao School. A window popped up, with my first alma mater’s name and picture was present before my eyes. I hastily looked into the members section. 1000 Members! Woe is me, I thought…. It was like to find a needle in a haystack. Man I thought.. this can be worse..

I went page by page, member by member. I was amazed at the amount of cute girls, lovely and beautiful, thin and thick, magnificent and ravishing in my school. I could not pull my eyes out.. A name, out of the blue, a name, very familiar to me Manoj Kini popped up on the screen. I looked at it for a good ten minutes. Then I scrapped him, and introduced myself. He immediately replied.. Thus started a new beginning… (to be cont.....)

Reflections

2007-10-19T18:43:00.000+05:30

Just today, I visited my own blog page and found that it has not been updated for quite sometime. A pang of guilt spread over me. I have been working on 3 blogs simultaneously and then today, out of the blue, I decided that I should publish a new one today..

This blog is about my recent visit, to my sacred place, my hometown: Chennai! The very thought of getting back home just drives me nutz. Home sweet home.. My family, my friends and the Beach.. In this, I am going to concentrate on Chennai's recent trends and four girls who are a part of my life.

Introduction

I wake up suddenly, shivering from a chill and found myself looking outside the window from my bus only to find that I am staring at the ever beautiful architecture of Chennai Central. I realized that I have to dock myself in roughly about 2 minutes and I turn to the other side only to find Mahesh, with his mouth wide open, eyes closed and with my blanket on him. My first thought was to plunge the empty water bottle into his mouth for taking away my blanket, exposing me to direct AC. However, it would be of no use, as one of my prof use to say, “what does it matter to a buffalo if it were Raining or Shining? (Sunshine)”

I shut the AC above my head and prodded him awake. Picked my bags (Thankfully not stolen) and decided to wait near the door. I went next to the door and waited patiently for the bus to stop. I find some 20 autowalas waiting at my door step, barely giving me breathing place. One snatched my bag and was telling the others that I was a regular customer. (Frankly, all my life I have never seen that queer fella) I just pulled my bag from the guys and went down onto the pavement. The cleaner, then takes out a small box of mine which contained my television and kept it beside me and left.

Ghori’s & Ghazini’s

Suddenly I find my box lifted by a small white man, bearded like the pard. Hey! Keep that down.. Who are you? The guy keeps it down and says, “I am a loader”. I find myself thinking, what the hell is a loader?? and before I can even think about an answer I find that I am crowded by uncountable auto walas. All of them talking to me at the same time. Then one guy silences the rest and asks me where I want to go.

“Mandaveli Bus terminus” I said
“Come sir, lets go. You pay me 180 Rupees only” he said
“WHAT, I literally screamed at him. 180 Rs?” I said. I realized that I have been speaking in English all this time and hopefully, they thought they would take me for a gala ride.
“I want to go to Mandaveli and not Tambaram” I said in clear local Tamil. The guys around me were stunned that I was speaking in local Tamil.
“Govt pre paid auto charge is 112 Rs Sir, You give me 140 Rs” said another guy on my right.

Exasperated, I called Dad and asked him to pick me. The guys around were suggesting me the same thing. My dad, apparently was not at home. I told the guys, I will give him maximum 80 RS not a paise more. Then one fellow accepted. Suddenly, this quite little white man picked my box again. I told him to keep it down. He refused. I was shocked and before I could collect my wits, this white man along with the autowala who was supposed to come with me, quickened their pace. I ran behind them. The man dressed in white put my box into the auto. I sit inside the auto, and suddenly the loader asks me to pay 100 Rs! What, I screamed again? I looked at the auto guy for an exploanation on why the fuck I should pay another 100 Rs. The autowala says, sir, you please sort this issue, I shall wait and turns back quickly without waiting for my response. Another 10 guys crowd me and say that he is a loader and if I don’t pay him, they will not allow me to move. I was really getting mad. I got out of the auto and told the other guys to back off, and I spoke to the loader. I asked him..

“Did the Kesineni guy ask you to get money from me?”
“Yes” he replied.
“I came by Kamakshi Travels and not Kesineni. Go away”
“I said Kamakshi only. Give me the money, he said”
“No, I said”
He called all the guys from the travel offices and began to harass me. I looked around. Not a cop in sight. The nearest cop was nearly a quarter kilometer away from me. This time some 10 people surrounded me and asked me to pay. I felt helpless. I took out 50 Rs from my purse and gave it to him. He demanded another 50 Rs. I told the guy next to me to call the police. That moment, everybody disappeared from the scene. I felt like a fool. I should have done this in the beginning. Sometimes, we need to learn the lesson on our own experience. A costly mistake

The auto guy came and took the auto. Once we reached home, that guy demanded 180 Rupees. God, I realized. Why on Earth are these people cheating like this? No one will come to Chennai if they go on like this. He told me cheekily that the guy next to him (when I was bargaining) said he d come, but I chose this fellow. My god. Look at the way these guys were weaving stories. Balachander, Bhagyaraj, Shankar and Manirathnam would loose to them.

After a verbal spat & this lasted for 10 minutes, I paid him 120 Rs and locked my door going in. He was screaming at my door step. I did not bother. I have read some where that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. I just wanted to make an edit. Truth is never spoken at any hour by Auotowala. When truth is nothing but the truth, its unnatural, it's an abstraction that resembles nothing in the real world. In nature there are always so many other irrelevant things mixed up with the essential truth. What a world!

Next on, I am going to censor all the other things and am going straight to the main part. I am now going to pen my observations about the girls, who were a part of my life since 2 and half years. Give or take three months approx.

The Girl who did not give me the cookie!

Another notorious girl, who always tends to change my gender by using the feminine Tamil slang (i.e., Di) She is one hell of a girl, extremely talented in perverted talking, (only talking & No action) and yeah, another one who can be a great, perhaps the greatest of friends. She is one to whom you can find clarity and strength when you re low. She can make you laugh till your insides hurt with pain with her snidely jokes. I always love being with her. It pained me a lot when I relocated here for the past year and a half. There was not a day, when both of us were not together, working for Rotaract or some other thing. We used to go all over Chennai, enjoying the company of each other. She is one who is closest to my heart, who can predict me instantly.

She has created a lot of trouble in my life, some huge ones, and many small ones. She also was the one who made me realize that friends keep moving on, but never move out of life. It took me a while to understand, that people have their own life to attend to and their own commitments.

And yeah.. this bloke (looks like a Pomeranian now) did not know a word about computers and today she is an expert. I still can’t fathom on how she is this way. I guess, your work can turn you into a geek and make you speak Greek and Latin, if it were necessary.

Well, amidst her schedule, she was prodded by her other self to care for her other eye which was like 800 km away. And yeah she did, as a matter of fact. She came there, dressed in red and blue, reminding me to get her some new attire of different colors for Christmas.

I had a wonderful time with her, catching up for a conversation which lasted for a couple of hours letting her know about the recent change in my life and I learnt how her personal life and work life was on, which was long over due, which I thought will never happen. Last time when I came, she ended up being tied with some other important activity.

I have also realized that some times the people who are the most closest to us remind us to tend to others who are equivalently close, but not equal. That’s something why you need your closest of friends knowing each other (till a certain point, of course!)

I also met her counter part, another great guy. Well, I really felt bad that I could not talk to him much; however, I am sure he d understood what I needed him to know. That’s something guys can always understand. A few words are all needed to know on what’s happening around. After all.. Guys Rock.. (Sad part.. Most of the Girls make the guys to do so. L) And the best part, he keeps my cute gypsy girl happy! What else can I ask for?

I am sure you must be wondering at her title.. Well, its time that I owe an explanation. You see, when we all met up, at Chennai city centre, she got a free cookie at Cookie man's and when I just asked her for a piece of cookie, she did not give me. She gobbled up the entire cookie.. Ruthless creature.. I am a part of her family, and her friend and she did not give me a piece... Had she asked, I would have got her a box full of those stupid cookies! So I did not make an issue of this. After all, its a cookie, btw, she suggested her own title! That ends her story.

The Girl who Lived…

Okay, this girl, had caused enough trouble in my life as much as the way I had troubled her in her life. Now we were equal. We were past our differences. We are still together, at a point at which we cant let each other go seperatley (Right??). She was in a total mess, or rather that’s what I thought. She was in the beginning stages of a broken relationship. She has been thru a lot of mess and never learns from it. Who Cares? She is so loveable all the time that you tend to forget her mistakes. I thought she d be broken down and indeed she was at a point where, (as she stated) she had no strength to get hurt or cry. This girl was the one who made me haste my decision of rushing to Chennai, the moment I heard the news of her break-up. She was one amongst the 6 most important people in my life.. So I rushed to check on her or rather… check her out! I could see that the fire raging within her has cooled down. However, the embers deep down her heart were still red hot. When ever she used to refer her “ex” there was wildness in her eyes, along with a strong glint of mad passion. I best thought not to prod it. I am guessing that she is to be married off in another 6 to 8 months. Hopefully, she will settle down eventually with nothing to bother her. Well, she is one hell of a lady and hopefully her husband.. poor guy.. is going to have a tough time, unless he understands her. Yeah.. I myself had a tough time understanding her as a friend. Nevertheless, she can talk you out of it, being blessed with the extreme gift of the gab.
For example, by the time she tells you that she wanted to go to the GYM, she will give you a blow by blow account of her entire day at office, making it so interesting that, all that you want to do is just sit and listen to her. Ace conversationalist. End of the day, before I left, I realized that, in all these years, she has been growing strong and I am sure she can manage her life pretty well. Time is a great healer, I suppose. I also realized that forgetting was not an option..

The Girl who drives people nutz...

Okay, I adopted her as my sister in my second year at MBA. I know I was asking for too much when I did, nevertheless in times of rapid change, experience could be your worst enemy. Whenever she does the talking, I stay quiet, as I always feel, Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt!

She herself is stuck between the Shark, the Devil and the deep blue sea, and I hope she knows what she is doing. I just have to keep shut. She is not one who listens. She is one who is tpp independent and decides for herself. So, I leave it to her, and will be there for her, if she needs me. She is remarkable for her intelligence and ardor, for her curiosity and ruthlessness of her vision. Again.. Who cares? She is fun to be around with, nothing more is required. And she almost stopped fighting with me. For one moment, I thought she accepted the fact that its no use fighting against me, well, she did try, and when she knew, she quickly change the entire issue. I thought it was for the better, as I picked the winning side, and decided to leave it at that, else, she d be cursing me as usual.. Again.. I don’t care! She s my little sis, and she needs more experience!

The Girl who is barely visible…

Ah! An interesting specimen (tiny and vivacious) She is popularly known as God, perhaps for the fact that she is barely visible physically and omnipresent wherever we are. She is like a game changer, can make you laugh, can make you think, very creative, very funny. A bag of crazy ideas is a line that can be used to describe her, a fashion freak, a friend of mine commented about her. It was great when you team up with her to do anything. I did happen to meet her on the penultimate day of my departure to Hyderabad. I met her at her office at life style, squeaking and squealing around. We could not spend much time, as I had my dad waiting for me. So had to rush!

Overall, a great trip, that put me at ease, watching these girls running around each other at different places. I thought in dismay..

As I looked out of the window of the bus at the stars twinkling in the sky, {which was taking me back to the bomb city (formerly known as pearl city)} with my blanket tied to one end of the seat on my right side to make sure that Mahesh (who was on my left) does not pull it off me again, I realized that I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. We all each have a place where we are meant to be. I suppose this is mine.

Tagged - Again

2007-09-17T17:07:00.000+05:30

My dear sweet sister (Archana) & Such other Relatives who might venture to honour this blog, don't you dare put me into trouble (with my family) after reading this. I l kill you all ruthlessly.. and I mean Murder, Cold Blooded Murder..

Friends

Here we are, tagged again. The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.

The Nineties of the Miserable Man:

1999: I fall in love with Pavithra. I fail in Maths in School Exams. I get a friend, who was going to be with me till my end.

1998: My dad faces a huge loss. I start getting acquainted with a queer fella named Srini.

1997: Started having problems with Maths & Classmates.

1996: Was ga-ga over Mrinalini, my classmate – she was the most beautiful witch around.

1995: Teasing SVSKAGRD Deepa, that one of our characters in our English book had a longer name than hers. Playing the Role of Captain Planet with the kids in my van.

1994: Was wondering why one of my classmates “Saneeri Venkata Sri Krishna Anjaneya Govinda nayaka Ratna Daipa Deepa-(SVSKAGRD)” had such a “short” name…

1993: Chasing Krishanth (also known as the Mosquito) around the class, entertaining the class..

1992: Joined Ashram...

1991: Dameeja Episode: (Refer First Blog)

1990: Blank....

I pass this tag to who ever wants to do so: they are not obliged to do the tag - not immediately at any rate - but it will be good if they do.

A "Trip" in Chennai

2007-08-22T15:50:00.000+05:30

If you re looking for a humorous post, my friends, I m sure you picked the wrong topic. This is another fuming session of mine.

By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart.

In times of rapid change, experience could be your worst enemy. This is one such time, when I have been acutely miserable, racked with sorrow. A trip to Chennai is something that excites me and makes my life worth living. Living 800 km away from my world of friends and family, a visit definitely rekindles my spirits. I come back feeling rejuvenated and ready for action for a month. My life has always been full of friends, my family has not played that strong a role in my social life, and I always restrict my family life intervening in my social life.

My social Life consists of two parts: The majority stake holders are my best friends, and the minority is called the Rotaract movement. I was unable to cater to the Rotaract movement, reason being that one, I was 800km away, and the next was that, my tenure as the president came to a grinding halt. It was with a heavy heart that I had to transfer the authority, and the moment that was done, my new team, asked me to step down from the Dias! I was shocked and hurt, for the first time in my career in Rotaract, some one has asked me to step down the Dias! I occupied the Dias to every function I attended, and I was asked to step out from the Dias for the function of my own prodigy? I took my seat in the audience, determining never to step into the club ever again, when I was called by the Chief Guest, asking me to occupy my seat on the Dias..

After the function was over, the most important thing I looked forward is my rendezvous with my best friends. I first called my pretty cancerian friend, call was un answered. A terrible feeling swept over me. I called my beloved gypsy friend. Apparently, she was off color, and was trying to get her color back at an event. She promised me to meet me the next day. I was unhappy about that, however, when I did get that appointment I had to be contented. Next I called my Capricorn friend, who answered my call and told me she would be there at the scheduled place.

I entered the newly built, extremely crowded famed hang out spot, called the “Chennai City Centre” which was competing with the famed “Spencer Plaza”. It was astonishing fact that, at city centre, you can see the elitist of the lot, to roving poor Romeos and pretty Juliets. Every where I turned, people stood either in pairs or groups. Chortling, I went ahead to my area (the food court) to get a table. After all my gang were on their way, or rather supposed to be on the way! I ordered a pink mango juice, after calling my Capricornia friend, who was working on one of the biggest shops at City Centre. She came up, and, my, was I stunned to meet her. A new look, and as tiny as ever, she looked like a tweety bird just that she was dressed in white and black.

We both took our phones and I decided to call my supposedly sister, who refused to pick my calls. I don’t understand what on earth was wrong. I kept calling her twice, thrice – No response. Another strange feeling washed over me. I felt very uncomfortable. My Cancerian friend, as usual had her appointments full. That made me feel miserable, but what made me feel better was that she said she wanted to see me and asked me to come over to her place. I was happy at least that she was willing to see me, as I thought I had suddenly become unwanted. I went over to her place, and there she was robed in a white salwar, looking tired after her day of work. (Incidentally, Going to work is like travelling on a train - Are we going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and we're just sitting still?) That never stopped her from looking as magnificent as ever. She was surprised to see me, as I had removed my French beard, and she also termed me to be a weirdo! That did not matter, indeed I was weirdo anyways. Just that she was reminding me the fact. Shortly after, our Capricornian friend joined us. We had an interesting discussion with my pretty cancerian friend’s father on hygiene, (I shudder at the thought of eating outside after learning a few facts from our conversation!) It was approach nine o clock, and I decided to get back home. For a fleeting instant, I wanted to go to the beach, but I was so exhausted emotionally, that I lacked the strength to go to the beach.

I went straight home, and landed on bed. Next day morning, I got up little late. I went up to find my parents fighting their war. I was caught at the middle of their war, needless to say, I also got my share of blasting. I quickly went up to my room, got ready and rushed out in the name of purchasing a couple of personal items. I went to the famous park, near my home, and was waiting for my dear Gypsy friend or my cancerian friend to give a call about the plans of the day. It was almost noon. My gypsy friend had not called. Assuming that she was held up somewhere, I went back home, and started packing. I was nearing the end stage of my packing while Mahesh called me for a quick meeting at Reliance Java Green. I rushed to our meeting point. The moment I opened the door, a nostalgic feeling filled my head. This was the first place, I went as a part of a gang along with my friends. I remember myself, sitting next to my gypsy friend. I occupied the same place, exchanged greetings to two other friends and I was also conveyed the story of our placement coordinator resigning from his job. This news was some thing I expected for a long time. I went over to his place, to say a final goodbye, and I found his door locked.

As I was returning home, my phone rang. My dear Gypsy friend was calling me! I felt glad. I was going to see her now, I thought as I was a stone’s throw away from her place. She asked me where I was, and I told her that I was near her place.

There was a brief pause. Adrenaline rushed to my brain. She told me that she was at the Rotaract meeting, thinking I would be there. A pain seared thru my heart. My best friend, thought? Could not she call before that? She used to go to that meeting with me. She did not call me either. I felt hurt. I wondered whether at any point of time, had I considered Rotaract more important than her? I felt low. My own best friend, I am not going to see. I had come over 700 miles to see her, and she was at a Rotaract meeting. I felt dreadful, I disconnected the line, after talking to her calmly. Went back home and picked my luggage, and rushed to my train. What a blessing it would be if I could open and shut my ears as easily as I open and shut my eyes?

On the way, I tried calling my sister, her number was busy. I called the second time, I got thru, but she never picked. Called her twice, thrice and four times. Call unanswered. I called my Cancerian friend – She was asleep. Finally, praying, I called my Capricorn friend, who gave me a nice farewell conversation.

As the train pulled away, towards the city of pearls, I realized, that things have changed. The moment I accept change, everything become normal. As I thought about the two days happenings, tears filled my eyes. My friends.. My family.. Nothing was the same. I guess that is life. I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. I stayed alive. I realized that Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. I decided to start afresh as I reached the city of pearls.

Before I finish, I just came across a nice piece of Joke. Just thought that I d make you guys chuckle, after all the sighing you have done after reading this blog!

A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

I just thought of adding a new feature to my blog. This will be on a regular basis. Its entitled. Tip of the Blog: So here we are, the tip of the blog for today.

Today’s Tip:

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans”

Tagged!

2007-07-25T14:36:00.001+05:30

Well, I have been tagged for the first time.. Here we go..

1.(a) Pick out a scar you have.

On my right hand, above the knuckles.

(b) and explain how you got it?

I happen to drive a colleague of mine, up the wall..!

2.What does your phone look like?

Just like anybody else’s.. (Who is having the same phone as I have!)

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

There are just so too many things on the floor that most often its me hanging onto the walls for dear life.

4. What is your current desktop picture?

A picture of IBM world map!

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

Nope.. I am not against it either.. Its people’s personal choices..

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

My Friends in Chennai!

7. What time were you born?

04.30 PM, I think..

8. Are your parents still together?

They are.. They have no choice!

9. Last person who made you cry?

My Best Friend

10. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?

Sandal Wood Perfume..

11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?

As long as they have both, it does not matter..

12. What are you listening to?

The sound coming from my keyboard (Its 12 AM!).

13. Do you get scared of the dark?

Totally.. I will turn to an uncontrollable freak!

14. Do you like pain killers?

No! No Pain.. No gain.. remember??

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Nope.. However.. I follow the principle “Ask and thou shall be taken!”

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

Milk Poli.

17. Who were the last persons you made mad?

Mahesh, with whom I share my flat, My Senior Analyst and My brother.

18. Is anyone in love with you?

Nope.. I am not exactly loveable..

Defeat's Match

2007-07-23T21:02:00.000+05:30

I always feel that our attempts can be a failure, but we should never fail to make an attempt. So I have now made an attempt to write about him. I await your comments which will determine my attempts..

Story So far...

"You have faced defeats and crumbled down to it, after which you aim your arrow well to achieve success by learning from your mistakes. Me, on the other hand, have stood strong in the face of defeat and took it on my shoulders, not letting it get to me. I accept defeat and I walk out with honor and with my head held high. That my friend is the difference between you and me."

I sat there, sipping my insecticide (Pepsi - You Know), 750 miles from home and was recovering myself to understand what this little bearded man who was sitting right in front of me, like a Lion looking at its prey, having cornered me in a conversation. He looked at me with an amused look and a straight composure, with his eyes gleaming with powerful confidence and radiating pure power and majesty. I was totally confused. Is this guy the one whom I thought was a rock with no feelings for emotion? Man, I was dead wrong. This guy here, was such a strong man, who knows to control his life and way of living and thinking and damn, he can control his feelings as well!!

All Men & Women face defeat. Something that is certain other than change is defeat. There is not a person, who has never been defeated in anything. I would say that no matter what, defeat is what makes one strong.

The Point: The guy, I am now going to talk about is one of the very first guy, who has stood victorious by not letting defeat conquer him. Even in the face of defeat, he stood there as consistent as he is and walked out, infuriating the defeat by not letting it conquering him, and infuriating it. How much ever defeat tries, he becomes stronger than before and consistent as ever..

Read On...

I am going to handle this blog quite differently this time, Its going to be a mere retrospect from the beginning of where I met him and how he was and will take to the future to what, I predict as he may become.

Srini--my man, you know--is really a most extraordinary chap. Very capable. Honestly, I shouldn't know what to do without him. On broader lines he's like those chappies who stand majestically at the bus stops at the Velachery Check post and when you go up to him and say: "When's the next bus for Mylapore?" and he’d reply, without stopping to think, "four-forty-three, at the third bus stop, change at Adyar." And he is right every time. Well, Srini gives you just the same impression of omniscience. One of the rummy things about Srini is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room. He's like one of those saints in the Himalayas who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them!

I met this guy in the 8th standard, in the very famous school, The Ashram. My Alma Mater and I have not had much a good relationship other than this guy, one excellent teacher and just another good friend. So this story will revolve around me and my friend whom I am about to speak about.

It’s my fate that in my school, I was named as a pervert, liar and betrayer amongst my classmates, and what ever I did, I was always seen on my negativity. I just wish that my classmates from school should see me now, where my closest circle of friends, mostly (or best friends as we term it as), comprises of the members of the fairer sex. All my friends trust me and are always there for me and I am indebted to them for overcoming my period of hurt. So much for a so called “pervert”! (Now it happens that, when ever I write a blog about someone or some thing, there will always be a pinch of my life’s stories or rather miseries to it. So readers, Put up with it!)

Now, this guy has always been the constant support and has also taken the post of being my friend, philosopher and mentor and in fact, I d also state that he was one of the main reasons for me to complete my schooling in that school. The moment I see Srini coming, registering caring attention to me, a weight seemed to roll off my mind. I feel like a lost child who spots his father in the offing. There was something about him that gives me confidence.

I felt so bad, at that time of my tenth standard, that after our last exam, he was about to leave for Hong Kong, and if I remember, I went a couple of days before his departure and we were talking generally and I told him about my views of running away from problems. One thing he stated that day changed my entire life. He said by running away, you don’t solve problems, the faster you run, the stronger the problem holds on to you. Stand and fight back, and if you do want to sever(e) relationships, do so in a manner that makes you clear your baggage with whomsoever you are to do about, so both know that there is nothing left in between them, which may makes things better. In life, if you do meet them (World is to small a place, and people keep bumping into each other!) at the least we can exchange a genuine or fake smile or even a hand shake of the same pattern on your mind set! I d prefer the former, that is, being genuine; after all, there is nothing to loose by using five muscles (by smiling of course!)! I want you to know that this conversation took place right when we were in our teens, which is the main part of life, deciding, not only your future, but also our character. I wondered at such a time, a maturity at such age. I never realized that he was capable, at any time in his life, of doing what he dreamt of.

My life at school always used to be around him, as he understood my foot in mouth syndrome and me being at the wrong place at the wrong time. Ever since he was there, the problems began to dwindle, though the rumors did not! Not that I cared, not that I bothered, because, a crack in the mirror can never be brought together again, and so is the first impression. I have looked bad in the eyes of my friends from the beginning and it will remain so till the end. We can’t change the world, but the only thing we can change is ourselves. So I decided to change. In the beginning of my journey of life, after realization begun, I was following his footsteps. As we climbed together with him in the lead, I stumbled and fell and looked at his trail trodden by. It was like the road not taken, where in he took the path less traveled by and I altered my course and took the path trodden by the others, where in roads were laid beautifully, with of course deep pitfalls covered by mirages like infatuation, money, desire and power. At a certain point in my life, I lost control of what was happening to me, and my life was controlled by fate.
I fell into all, dirtied myself, sat there and cried over myself and got up and began to travel again, on the same path, this time, being more watchful. I now knew what to expect on the road and on tricky situations, checked every step I put forth.

Whenever I thought of my friend, who has taken the road less traveled, I wondered where he would have been and how difficult his path might have been. That would never have stopped him. He flies like an arrow shot from the bow of Arjuna (The legendary Mahabaratha hero, famous for “bull’s eye” hit at every shot) straight towards the target he had in his mind.

It's not often that money can save someone's life, it can be a friend also and that my friend here did. When I needed support the most, he was there to lend me. He helped me to know that I am no less than anybody. He told me that I have a strong will as anyone. He wanted me to determine my own life and the importance of learning to use my will. His encouragement was the spark I needed. That spark had the power to start a forest fire and then that’s where I began to scale heights. I gained power in the society, raging against top echelons, people respected me for my qualification and to top it all, four babes are my best friends.

He proved it to be true, that a spark of lightening has indeed given way to a forest fire. He has seen me from my very beginning, helped me to realize myself, and also to collect myself. There were many things that will fill voluminous books about him. So I am centering on major issues at the moment.

Some where down the line, we both have the same idea, though our ideals differ. We choose different paths but ultimately reach the same destination. Our points of views are very different, in fact the total opposite. The thing is, Srini has always been straight forward, direct, very out spoken, can judge a situation/person in few minutes, has the ability to know the outcome of every discussion and ultimately emerges the winner, however, when we think, that we have won over him, he puts us to shame, by defeating defeat, gracefully, in such a manner, that we ourselves can never go thru that. May be I should state that, I am such a type, that I fall a easy victim to defeat, get crushed, and choose an alternate path where I don’t have to wage a war against defeat, and reach my destination. Whereas, he can face defeat, allow it to overcome him, and then be in exact control of the same, and emerge victorious. The approach, I follow is very different. I use the white lie method, because I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings, and accept them as they are. I follow the principle which states that people hear what they want to hear. That does not mean I flatter them, but I say things about them, what they know about themselves, and that which they tell me about what they should improve on. It’s because that everyone has his or her own way of learning or doing or speaking about things. My way isn't the same as theirs, or theirs is not the same as mine. We’re both in search of our goals in our respective methods, and I respect them for that. The same was for my friend here. I harbor great respect for him. My ideas may be lofty and very optimistic. When I combine my ideas with him, great truths come out by the mixing of our views and reach the same conclusion by our individual methods.

Few examples of the outcome of our discussions which I still remember,

Me: “We simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate, Srini.. Don’t you think so?.” (On the process of recovering myself from a one sided relationship)

Srini: Unfortunately pal, very few follow the path laid out for them—the path to their destinies, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place. If I am right, you think that the world is a threatening place, and so it is for you. Think otherwise.

To sum “…and this threatening place we term as “world” tests everything that we learned along the way and it does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our goals, master the lessons we've learned as we've move toward our respective goals. That's the point at which most people give up, while they are about to strike a mine. I still think life is cruel, though its doing for our own good though.”

Another one of my favorite discussions that happened at a theatre;

Me: Srini, how will it be you know, if we know that good things or bad things that is about to happen to us?

Srini: If good things are coming without notice, they will be a pleasant surprise however if bad things are coming, and you know in advance, you will suffer greatly before they even occur.

Me: So you mean to say that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself?

Srini: Yes! Now close that hole of yours, and allow a poor man to enjoy the movie we are supposed to see! (The day after tomorrow movie Srini, remember?)

Another discussion on the concept of concentration and dual nature of mankind;

Me: Each of us has two natures. One wants us to advance and the other wants to pull us back. The one that we cultivate on decides what we are at the end. However both natures are trying to gain control. The will alone decides the issue. Is concentration all that important? What roles does concentration play? Is not the will that finds a way?

Srini: I l take that question in two parts. Let’s take a live example. When you were in the school, you allowed yourself to be pulled back, and now it’s the same you, who have pushed all that and have advanced to a stage where not many people can scale. You have completed a Ph.D and hold a great position in the society. So you mean to say that you just had a will to become famous and everything happen just like that? Did you not have a goal or a plan to achieve what you have, and did you not concentrate on what you did? Lets first take concentration. Very few men possess the power to concentrate as they should. Concentration means strength of mind. People who are unable to concentrate never accomplished a great deal. And to your second part, it is the concentration that makes the will and intellect act in unison thereby helping you to find a way. It helps you to understand, what is right and what is not. Ultimately, it is you who make the final decision to allow which side of your personality you want to rule. You alone can decide when the turning point will come. It is a matter of choice whether we allow ourselves to control us or be controlled by the brute within us. No man has to do anything he does not want to do. He is therefore the director of his life if he wills to be. What we are to do, is the result of what we believe, we are.

Me: So you mean to say that though people who read good books and say they do not get much good out of them, did not realize that all any book or any lesson course can do is to awaken them to their possibilities; to stimulate them to use their will power?

Srini: Exactly! Those people will only know what they learn themselves. Aren’t you familiar with a proverb which states that you can lead a horse to the water, but you can't make him drink it? Life furnishes us the opportunity to learn to do new things or to improve or better ourselves. These books are like a lantern on the road named life, lighting your path. But whether we do it or not depends upon how near we live up to what is expected of us.

Me: you know what Srini, It is my opinion that with the right kind of training every man could be a success. It is really a shame that so many men and women, rich in ability and talent, are allowed to go to waste, so to speak. Some day I hope to be a millionaire philanthropist to start a school for the training of failures, and I want you to help me train them and may be, a little of myself too.

Srini: That’s a good idea da kanna. But right now you have to help me catch my train, or we will have to train ourselves first on not to loose our train. So shut up and eat fast!

Me: !!!

These are only few excerpts of our pearls of wisdom in the pearl city and these pearls have changed my entire attitude towards life. There are times you know that there's just no way to hold back the river. So is my friend, the only difference with him is, its every time!

Both of us are unique, we spend time for each other and certainly, every time I meet him, I go back home, a little wiser. It has been the same from our very beginning! Whenever there is an argument, we come to the same conclusion, just that my thinking follows the world and his, follows the heart.

Another all time favorite quote of his which incidentally is my favorite also is “If being frank is brutal, I don’t mind being brutal, I will try my best, till the last ounce of strength I have to fight and swim against the tide, for my values and beliefs.”

So back to the story, now you can’t blame for me not understanding fully. I did not see what was beneath. I guess I was so self-fish and occupied with myself that I did not understand him fully.

I always believe that “Love, friendship, and respect do not unite a people as much as a common hatred of something and the world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.” Srini also happened to be well informed. You can always tell when a man is well informed. His views are pretty much like your own, it was the same in my case, our views were the same, but the approach was different. After all.. Life is one long process of getting tired.

As it was said “History teaches us that men and nations live wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives”, so are we trying to exhaustive alternates so that we meet before, we reach our goal. The thing is that these days, taking into account of recent happenings I always believe that you can get a lot more done with a kind word and gun, than you can with a kind word alone. Well that’s the way I look life at, at the moment.

There is one thing we firmly go together. Both of us accept to the fact that wealth is like sea water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become; the same is true of fame.

I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare--or, if not, it's some equally brainy guy--who said that it's always just when a man is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general, when Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping. There really is nobody like Srini. I rely on him absolutely in every crisis, and he never lets me down. And, what's more, he can always be counted on to extend himself on behalf of any pal of mine who happens to be to all appearances knee-deep in the bouillon. I do have few other people like him, but Srini is the oldest and the wisest.

PS - I am sure our hero won’t accept on what I am going to tell about him. Nevertheless.. It is true. So Mr Hero, don't bother by telling what I am about to tell is not true and all. Comment on issues and not the concept. I am sure those who know you will accept to what I say :)

(To be continued...)

A Cracked Mirror!

2007-07-16T19:08:00.000+05:30

Light for the Blind Man?

Greetings! With another fuming session on the cards, I am getting ready to “fret, fume and share” just as one of my dear friend titles my blog link on her page!

This incident happened years back, and I was reminded of this event, due to certain circumstances. It is a fact that I never get along with my friends in my neighborhood. I don’t know why, but I always have problem due to my foot in the mouth syndrome! I lived in a place called Bharathidasan colony, a famous locale in K K Nagar, Chennai. My father had decided to move separately after his marriage, and he chose this colony as it was a very good neighborhood in spite of the fact that it was far from his office. My father was so very well off in those times that we had a neat bungalow of our own situated in between Block E and F. The colony was a very beautiful architectural wonder. It had 10 blocks (A to J) arranged in a square, away from the main road, with a beautiful park, which over looked our house. It was a very peaceful neighborhood.
Time passed by, and I was born and during the first my five years of my childhood, I lived with my grandparents, as both my parents were working. At the age of 6, I came back to Chennai, and to Bharathidasan Colony, where I started to attend the Ashram Matriculation Higher Secondary School. My home was always crowded with guests and friends of my parents, and we almost have a family get together every week. I was always rained with gifts, chocolates etc. It went on and on for a few years, where my daily schedule after school, would be to do my homework with mum till my dad arrives, and once he arrived and freshened up, we used to sit in front of the Television where we would watch news or movies or whatever my dad liked to do. After a few years, I was allowed to play with the other children in the neighborhood. We used to play in groups of fours and fives. Time went on like this for a few years till I reached the ninth standard.

It all happened one rainy afternoon, a huge tempo stood next to my house near the F block. It was apparent a new family was joining our colony. A muscular and good looking kid, of my age, got down from his car behind a stern looking man and equally stern looking woman. They walked into the house. It was the next morning when I returned from school, I saw this stern looking woman Mrs. Kamala, who was the new Principal of Church Park School along with the muscular guy, her son. When she saw me, she smiled gently and asked me my name. I went up to her, and politely told her my name and she introduced herself and her son. I offered my hand in friendship, and the boy’s eyes sparkled to life, as he enthusiastically shook my hands and told me he was Ram. After a couple of question and answer sessions from the Principal, my mother asked me to take Ram outside and introduce him to our group. Ram was very happy at that. I went up, changed and rushed outside along with my flying disc, with Ram following me at my heels. I went inside the park, where my other eight friends (Varun, Bhuvanesh, Ashok, Ragini, Subash, Rekha, Dhanya and Vishnu) were playing. When they saw me, they stopped their game, looking at the boy next to me. I took him to them and introduced him. They all offered their hands in friendship and from that day onwards, he was one amongst us.

As days passed on, I realized Ram was exceptionally good at games and he always won the first place whatever it was, and was very good in academics. He was also notorious and funny. He began to win the charm of all the guys around him and then there was a day when he became the leader of the nine of us. We had no qualms about it till one day, when he got another group of children who belong to the other side i.e., A,B & C blocks together. We all objected first, but he managed to convince us that the larger we were, the better we were. Then one by one, the other groups of fours and fives joined together and it was such a huge bundle of kids who were running and playing around. The adults in the colony watched in wonder, surprised by the unity the children displayed, because, in the years before, they had only seen groups of four and fives, that too in different corners.

Now Ram and I were very close friends. Both of us liked each other and he always discussed his plans with me first. The other kids named Ram as the king and me as the minister to him, because he was always with me – my being his first friend. I really liked Raja very much because he was a boisterous guy and knows how to make mischief, and he was our undisputed leader. We were like the best of friends from the moment I moved into the apartment. This guy had the uncanny ability at such an age to get everybody into a single group. He had the power to distribute a cake to every body, making everybody think that they got the biggest part. None could equal him in his mischievous ideas. All the adults in our neighborhood revered him lest they should find the tyres of their vehicles, irrespective of whether they were cycles or scooters or four wheelers, punctured and the watchman guarding the shed would have no idea of how it happened. This spree of mischief made him so famous that a guy opened a puncture shop near our colony and occasionally he used to treat us by fixing our tyres free of cost because his business was flourishing, courtesy us.

On the 9th of August 2000, a tempo traveler stood again in the far end of our house, at Block J. As usual, the day after the Tempo’s visit, when I returned from school, I found a family in conversation with my parents. They were the people who had moved to the new house in Block J. Since my father was the Association Chairman, the family had come to our house to make acquaintances. In their family, they had two kids, Pavithra and Parasuram. I was introduced to them and as usual, I was asked by my mother to take them to the entire “Kids”dom. I took them to our domain, and was about to introduce Ram and Ram on seeing Parasuram, jumped up and went and hugged him. It was after a few minutes I learnt that both of them had been school friends long back and in Mumbai, after which Ram had come to Chennai, while Parasuram had stayed back. Now they met again!

The entire hierarchy changed suddenly. Parasuram was equivalent to Ram, and since the day after his arrival, Ram and Parasuram were together. In a week’s time, they were called the Ram brothers and Parasuram had taken my position with Ram. There were days, when Ram used to wait for me, or if I was busy with something, he used to help me with it till we finished and then we went out to play. Now, one whole month had passed since Ram came home!

I missed him very much. He did not avoid me; however, he was not with me! When we used to go somewhere, Ram and Parasuram cycled together and asked me to join them, Ram did not bother to see whether I m there or not. I was hurt beyond words and decided to never see or talk to him. Meanwhile, Vishnu also teamed up with Ram and Ram was always found in between Parasuram and Vishnu.

I started to keep away from him. Ram whenever he saw me talked to me for a bit and went on his way. He did not bother to note that he had offended me. I was sitting alone by myself in the park while watching these people play.

As time went on, I felt humiliated, and this was when I saw Pavithra, sitting on the far end of the bench. She caught me looking at her, and came up to me, and gave a million, billion, trillion, zillions of dollar smile, and then, to me, it was love at first sight. She kept on talking to me, and I just could not concentrate on what she said, and was staring blankly at her womanhood. I regained my senses, only when she shook my shoulders and asked me in a clear sweet voice about what happened. Immediately, I was brought back from my dream world and thrown into the reality of the situation I was in. I just smiled and said that I was tired. At that moment, Vishnu came and took her by the hand towards the other corner of the park, where Parasuram and few others were talking. If looks could kill, there would have never been a trace of Vishnu’s ashes also at that moment.

That night, I went out for a walk in the park when I met Parasuram who was coming on the opposite side with groceries. When I saw him, I was so frustrated and just kicked a pebble in my path. Unfortunately, it hit him in his hand and the bags fell to the ground. I rushed to help him and mumbled an apology to him, telling him that I did not see him approaching me on the opposite side. He said nothing about that, and just as he was about to leave, he said that he was planning a party for Ram’s Birthday, and asked me to come to Hotel Saravana Bhavan at 8pm.

Like a stupid fool, wanting to wish Ram, I went to the party place. Elaborate arrangements had been made for his party. When I reached at 8 pm the next day, the entire party was over. All of them were attacking their dessert. I walked up to Ram, gave him my birthday gift. He smiled, and went back to chatter with Parasuram. I sat at the end of the table; and Pavithra came up to me and asked me why I was late. I told her that I had special classes at school and that was why I ended up being late. She asked me to order for food, instead I left the place.

I kept myself indoors, brooded over the past and went out rarely. I started studying and preparing for my tenth, as I was a failure in academics. I wanted to improve. I was not able to concentrate fully. Then on, I planned to take the longest routes possible home. I seldom took my kinetic Honda to school. I preferred to go by bus, and my school was at Guindy. To get back home, I used to take a bus towards Velachery wherefrom I used to go to Tiruvanmayur and from there come backwards to Saidapet before heading To KK Nagar. I went straight to my tuition, (and in spite of coaching, I was still failing miserably) and came back home in the night. I did not know how to handle my frustration, and so I started to eat outside. I did not think about the fact that I was spoiling my health and mind. I went on and on like that till I became a whale from a grizzly bear.

The hand of Fate and Luck always fancies a beautiful game. Just after our 10th Exams, Parasuram was selected for an international trip in his school. Ram lost that opportunity by a mere whisker as he was busy with certain domestic issues. The moment Parasuram came back, he was given a hero’s welcome at home. The entire colony was around him, asking questions and every parent began to compare his/her children with him. Naturally, he became the king and since he was equivalent to Ram, he went out of his own and started a new fan club for Ram. As the months dragged by, relocation was at the cards for my father, where fate has turned him to stay low profile for a while. We moved away from that bungalow as that was the place where my grandfather breathed his last and my father could not bear to stay here, as it reminded him of his late father.

The happiest moment was my SSLC results. I knew I’d fail in Math and I immediately rushed to my native, never to return again. It was the morning of the day the Results arrived and my grandfather asked my register number. Taking it down in a piece of paper, he rushed to the market to find my results. Meanwhile my mum was speaking to my grandma and crying to her that I failed. I was so scared of my mum that day. I had never given her an ounce of happiness, and now I have put her in misery. All my family members would know, and I was put to my family and me to certain shame. I did not know how I could face the guys in the colony. My career had been damaged. I slowly went and took the receiver. My mother somehow knew that I was on the line, and she said it was ok. I could sense her choking over the phone at her office, and with that she disconnected the line. I replaced the receiver, and with tears in my eyes I went and cried in my grandmother’s lap, and she was consoling. My Grandfather came back with a triumphant smile with sweets in his hands, and wanted to put it in my mouth. When he saw me crying, he enquired what was wrong, and as my grandmother explained the situation I cried more. My grand father began to look at me strangely, took the piece of paper, and took the newspaper, put on my grand mother’s reading glasses and said that the numbers in both papers were matching. Astonished, I rushed to the paper and checked it with my own eyes.
RELIEF.

There is no better way, I could describe my feelings. I immediately rushed to the phone and called my mother. She was still choking over my results. I told her that the papers here showed me that I have passed. She did not believe me. When I told her to look into the column where the results were printed on the first class division, she was surprised. When she spotted the number, she cried even harder. I wont blame her for that, as I never passed in any of the tests and exams conducted in school. I think she was so proud of me that day. The most surprised individual on the face of this earth then, probably, was our school coordinator, who thought I d flunk. I heard she was so stunned that she nearly spilt the tea on her saree when she heard the news that I got a first class!

I returned home as triumphant hero. This time I really wanted to change my school, as I had been branded as a pervert and liar and betrayer in school for being true to myself. Various events happened related to that and I was at the wrong time at the wrong place. So I felt that I should go over to some other school, and begin afresh. My mother would not listen to me and made me continue in the same old school, where I had to endure another 2 years of psychological torture. My only relief was my comrade Srini, who helped me lessen the burdens, and Shyam, another guy, who still talked to me.

Now, back to the story. My life was going on as usual till I met Raghu, a guy from KK Nagar Bharathidasan colony, (who liked me very much when I was there). He saw me at Tiruvanmayur and both of us went into hot chips and started exchanging stories. He told me that during the past year, Parasuram had actually left Ram and was surrounded by his own group. Ram was now alone, on his own. He just had Vishnu to be along with him and none else.

I felt so bad for Ram. All said and done, he was my first best friend and after a week of breaking my head, I decided to meet him “accidentally” with the help of Raghu and I went up to him and stood. The next moment, both of us hugged each other. He started to say some thing and I did not permit him to say anything and took him straight home.

Next thing I knew was we both patched up and decided to chuck the past and live the present after a good fight over the past. With the new relationship revived, my life changed drastically. I was sooooo happy to get Ram back in my life.

Life went on happily. I thought we were going to be this way till the end. However! Me, Vishnu, Ram and Raghu began to meet each other when ever possible. We really had a nice time every time.

Time went on and on. It was time for Ram’s Birthday. Vishnu decided to plan a new surprise. This time… I was amongst the plans. I was sooooooo happy! I am planning for my best friends B day! I never thought I d be a part of this. I was excited and plans were being plotted.

We were discussing on whom to call for the party and were plotting on how to catch him off guard. At that time, Raghu thought we must invite Parasuram. He still was Ram’s friend, though they were not talking to each other the way they do, because both of them were classmates and they both still contested against each other. So I thought, why not I call him and expressed my opinion to Raghu and Vishnu. Raghu immediately said no. I was stunned. I asked him why, for which he replied that Parasuram and Ram are close friends and just that I should not call them as he may feel insulted!

At that fated moment, my entire world collapsed. A crack appeared in my heart. I was stunned and shocked. Was I not close to Ram two years back, and did not Parasuram invite me, in spite of knowing that I had a difference of opinion with Ram. I, like a fool did not take an ego at that time, and today I am not supposed to call Parasuram? So I should have not gone for his previous birthday then? So was I fool to go last time?

My whole world reeled. I was shocked and hurt. My best friend’s birthday, where I was assisting to organize, and I could not call Parasuram just because he was close to Ram?

That night, I was broken into smithereens. My heart was torn into infinite pieces. I lay there awake that night and the entire episode of our life from our 8th standard went past my mind. I realized Raghu was right. I was a part of them before. I went out due to my own problems and now I was back. However what mattered was, though I was away, I was a new part. I never belonged to the old circle. This was a different circle. There was a new limit put on my neck from then on. I was new and I had to stay in my place. I will have no right to do according to my wishes. I had a restricted path placed in front of me.

I did not bother as it did not matter to Ram. To him, I was his best friend! And that’s all I needed and that’s what mattered. We had a great time on his birthday and he was looking so happy after such a long time.

The time had come for me to move on. I can never be with that thought again. I entered my college life – which happened during the evenings – and I could not go out at all. and Slowly but surely, I started to lose contact with Ram, Raghu and Vishnu. I had become busy with pressure mounting on my arms in college and that’s when everything I had was lost! I had become a lonely person again due to my fault. I could not help myself. This is what Life planned for me and it won. Ram will always be there in my memories, deep down and I always pray for his welfare and well being.

With these thoughts in my mind, I started another new life, new people and new place.

I realized, only one thing is permanent and that is CHANGE. I caved into emotional drains, offering the popular excuse that "I just can't help it." It's time now that I learn both how and why to "help it" — or at least become open to the fact that I can in my present and future. I realized that the best relationship is the one in which our love for each other exceeds our need for each other. If we are incapable of finding peace in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere.

That’s when, my HOD walked in and found me fast asleep on my table, and my classmates had been kind enough in not disturbing my sleep. He pinched my ears and I stood up wincing. As usual I was the laughing stock of the class. I will never learn.. Will I?

The Extraordinary Bachelor

2007-07-03T18:43:00.000+05:30

Heya Guys. My favorite blog chapter “Defeat’s Match” is nearing completion, which has still a long time to go. Meanwhile, I thought I should post one small one today.

This blog is about a guy, whom I have known for many years, who has actually turned a new leaf! I never expected this guy to change soo much. When I think about Bachelor’s life, the thought I come up with, is a free life, a messy house, drinks, girls, porn and traveling. But this guy surprised me and from that day onwards, I looked at the Bachelor’s life in a new angle. I never realized that till now. So let’s go ahead.. shall we?

I recently noticed this guy on last Friday, as I was sitting in retrospection of my own miserable life and this guy was standing right before me and smiling. I asked him, “DO we know each other?” He still smiled and said, “Obviously pumpkin!” I looked at him real strong, and tapped my memory, to recollect where I had seen this huge bloke before.

Just as I was about to mumble an apology and say that I did not recollect meeting him, he invited me to his place and I was forced to go. That night when we I reached his place, he went in and opened the door for me to enter. He smiled and went to the room and started to change to his night clothes. He put his pant and shirt he was wearing into a bucket in the rest room. He came out after washing his legs and face, and went straight to the kitchen and got me a glass of water. He then went and switched on his Ipod to soft music and began dish washing.

After dishwashing, he re arranged the entire house, as in straightened the furniture, cleaned his beds, changed his sheets and made a nice and comfy as I had seen in the Guest house. The entire house was spick and span. Now I slowly recollected where I met him. Last time, when he was in his hometown, the moment he reached home, I have seen him throw his dress on the floor in his room, while his mom would come and put it in the bucket, not to mention with a quantifiable amount of chiding. After he eats, he leaves his plate on the table and just rushes out. He is never at home, and now he is doing dish washing! And you must see the way he maintains the kitchen! Surprising! He has hardly entered the kitchen back home. He used sit in his chair on his system and used to bark out orders to his poor mother. Man, I wondered, how on earth was soo many changes possible??

The next morning, he was up at 7 and completed his Yoga practice and went about sweeping and mopping the floor. I have seen him throw papers and wrappers here and there and today he mopped his floor so clean that it was shining. (He attributes it to Lizol though!) He then went out, bought a packet of milk and got me a cup of hot steaming coffee. He had a head bath and soaked all his clothes in surf powder. I am sure he has never seen that in reality when he was at his home town. He might have seen them on TV ads, but not in reality! He then went and bought vegetables. Took out what he wanted to use for the day and arranged the rest in the refrigerator. Have you seen the refrigerator ads? How beautiful the refrigerator is arranged? Just the same way it was in his. The guy before used to throw the bottle in the fridge when he takes water, and today, he maintains it so well! Wow! Is it not amazing?

He then started to cook morning breakfast. I was amazed. He is never at home, so I still don’t know where he learnt to cook. That day he made Semiya upma and it was soo tasty that I made a note to ask him how he managed to do it soo well. After a tasty morning breakfast, he started to cut vegetables for the afternoon. I was surprised! We hardly finished breakfast and he started to cut vegetables? He then told me that it will take some time for him to cut vegetables as it was the first hand experience in cooking. So am I, I thought. He cut the vegetables neatly, with music playing in the back ground and then washed the vegetables and kept them on the kitchen in covered vessels.

Following that was movie time! We watched Chennai 600028 and had a good laugh. He told me it reminded of his childhood days where he had seen his friends enjoying all that and he was the obedient son who rushed to his home after school and sat in front of the book and started to dream of becoming a great man. We had a nice laugh over that.

He then finished cooking in half hour! The food was good, having a tinge of Andhra taste and then We relaxed for some time as he cleared the dishes to the sink. Then he started dishwashing again and once that got over, he started to wash his clothes! I was surprised. I am sure he has never been like this. I was wonderstruck at this bloke s life which has changed dramatically. After an hour or so of bone breaking work, he put the clothes to dry. He came back and stretched his legs and time for another movie! At 6 he went out, got the clothes in, and ironed it. We then went to a temple at 7.45 PM. This guy was getting me curious by the day. He respects his religion, but he has never gone to the temple when he was back there! I remember him going to temple for the others but not for himself. This was astonishing. In the temple we had a hot Pulihora (Tamirand Rice) and Milk rice, with Sundal. I even made fun of him by asking him, whether he goes to the temple for this food! He looked at me and gave me such a long lecture about concentration and charging himself, that I got confused and did not know what to believe!

We came back, and went out for a dinner at a nearby restaurant. I asked him, why we are going to a hotel, and he smiled and said; we go to the Hotel, to save my taste buds! I chuckled at his joke. As we sat an ate, I realized from him that hiring a maid servant would not be suitable for his budget as she charges anything between 2k to 3k. At the same time, when I see such a lot of misers around me in Hyderabad, he never bothers about spending. Whenever we went for shopping, he bought something or the other. He never went back empty handed.

Another interesting conversation we had was about his family. He says that his stay in Hyderabad has actually helped him to know what Life is. His entire attitude has been changed ever since he was alone. When I look for the reason, its simple that now that he stays alone, he ought to take care of himself and his mom can’t come immediately. He misses his friends terribly and he is waiting for a few more months which will give him a year of experience, so that he can rush back to Chennai.

Please do look at his profile! You will be amazed!

[link]

http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=10019937945142618856

Absolutely, the link is perfect. What you see is the right Link [:D]

I was just thinking that such a change is possible, for a guy, anything is possible. Right from morning exercises to house hold chores! I am sure he will make a very good house husband and keep his future wife very happy! I was really surprised by the change in him. I hope he changes for the good and improves himself. His friends call him helpful and their testimonials in his orkut profile, substantiates the fact! He says that he is trying to get adapted to the life here, however, the people around have different ideas and he is trying to attune himself to this frequency. Wish him good luck!

Now.. Readers.. Your comments please?

In Pursuit of “little” Happyness

2007-05-30T17:56:00.000+05:30

Dear Readers, I hope you people liked the previous part. I have made it that way so that it does not depict negativity and sadness, but when I did underwent all that, (yes my dear friends, every word written there happened) it was not as funny as this. The reality is always harsh and I did not want to show that harshness, so I have written it on a humorous note. Today, I am able to laugh about it, and during those days, I did nothing but shed tears at my helplessness. Now back to the story…

Time Line

When I woke up, I found myself sweating profusely. My bed was almost wet, not bed wetting, but sweat wetting. I looked around to see Mahesh still sleeping with a blanket on! I looked at the time and it was almost 1 pm. I prodded Mahesh and shook him and finally when he did not get up, I kicked him. That earned me few unparliamentarily profane words with a couple of smashes on my back. I showed him my middle finger and the time. When he saw the time, he apparently raised his eyebrows again. He then rushed into the bathroom asking him to lock him. At that moment, I had a devilish instinct to lock the house and run away to office leaving him to suffer in the bathroom (for scolding and kicking me!) But my considering him as a friend, brought me back to place and I slowly got rid of that idea.

The New Place

After our 15 days, we moved in to our single bedroom flat (with the watchman standing with his arms stretched out for money for cleaning charges), thinking that we had been saved. My mum came down to help me get settled and we were getting our house hold items from Chennai. That’s when I decided to take a very important decision in my life. I decided to start cooking my own food. I thought anyway it is going to be the same. At least I would have prepared it in sanitary conditions. So, a mini household was set in this house. Right from cable connection to internet, we had to pay a hefty advance. Money! I started to hate the term and the concept of money. I was going mad.

Fate!

So when everything was set, I slept contentedly on my huge bed, and looked up, the fan was slowing down. Funny, I thought. And then slowly it halted. I looked up at the fan, and knowing that no amount of staring at it is going to make it run, took my pillows and went out to the balcony. When I opened the balcony, a horrible stench knocked me to the floor. Both my mum and Mahesh got up, holding their noses. It was the smell of buffalo’s excreta. We just then noticed that a buffalo shed was present just a block away. The horrible of feeling of nausea hit us and I closed the door immediately and hit the room freshener all around the house till the contents were emptied. The smell of Jasmine (from the room freshener) and the buffalo’s smell together were worse. I opened the front door and waited for few minutes till fresh air came in and the stench wafted out. I went back to my room and went back to my bed.

It was so frustrating living here. When I showed my mum the room in which I lived for 15 days, she was almost in tears. She told me that I should have stayed at least in a decent guest house or extended my stay at the Silicon Valley. Well I honestly had thought about that, but per day I had to spend 1000 Rupees on my stay plus food. I was not going to get a huge salary to afford that luxury.

Living with Mahesh

Living with Mahesh, to me was at first very difficult. I was never at home and my mum used to do everything back home, right from making sure, our servant maid took my clothes to washing and ironing, my coffee, breakfast and dinner everything. Plus, I don’t mind being a little messy here and there. Mahesh was a total perfectionist. He wanted things to be like a museum, always clean and neat. I will not mistake him as that is the way he was bought up. So I had to adjust and this caused many differences amongst us. As mistakes are on my sides also, I could not fight back. So I just did what needed to be done. He used to shout at me when I am careless about my clothes and that used to irritate me. However, I had to grit my teeth as I had to give up that behavior. I did not mind, as I was changing for the better.

Whats Cookin? - व्हट्स कुकिन!

Cooking, my god was the best part of our lives there. When I started to cook, everything tasted the same, just that they were of different colors, shapes and forms (Solid and Liquid) I was trying to learn to the best of my efforts. Even today, I call my mum in the morning to ask her how to do any vegetable that comes to my mind at the first thought of cooking. Mahesh has another problem. He despises spicy food, and I love spicy food, a direct conflict. So I had to make it into half and he still sticks out his tongue at whatever I try to cook. The best part was when I tried to make Jamuns. The sugar and salts are very crystallized here and almost similar. So I ended up adding salt and had to throw the Jamuns due to my negligence. I had a lot of experiments with various vegetables, rice etc., and most of them ended in the bin. Still I am under the learning process.

Adjustments

Another problem I faced was with my room mate’s mother. Of course she was not a problem, however, I felt delicate when ever she was around. Though Mahesh was my friend, its difficult to be with him and his mother. I can’t explain though. I felt I was a stranger in my own place! And at few points, my mentor and guru, Srinivas, came to my rescue. We both went out and we had our share of fun. Those were the best times I had. I generally don’t interfere in house affairs and buy what was necessary for the house. She was doing all the cooking and I had no qualms. Just that I felt uneasy. It took me some time to adjust to her presence and I have been much better after the few initial days.

Phir be Problems Yaar!

Everyday we had a problem. We had frequent power failure or no drinking water. Whenever we approached the wretch, he would ask our phone to call the people concerned. He even had the balls to ask us to pay the electricity bill of the previous resident. We called the owner who spoke to us very sweetly, asking us to pay the bill. We refused flatly and since then this wretch became a daily pain. Whenever he sees us he asks for money on commission basis. For asking a cable guy to come, he asked 200 rupees as commission and same applies for the internet and newspaper “wallas”. We were highly disappointed and dissatisfied with this bloke. We also had poor internet services and all day the cable supplier had electricity failure. So no TV! Our only hope was my I-pod which I connected to my good computer speakers (creative 2.1). However, we had electricity problems also. My air conditioner’s compressor was burnt, followed by my fridge’s stabilizer, followed by the small computer speakers that belonged to Mahesh, his iron box and adapter. When we informed the house owner she sent her other flat watchman who had a tester in his hand and after inserting that into some plugs, said that there was no problem with the electricity. That was the last straw. We decided to have our revenge, first with the watchman and then the owner.

“Watch” Man

Whenever he gets water to our house, he goes around the entire house checking everything. This was pissing of for us and after the third time he did that, we did not allow him to cross the door. When he did not accept, Mahesh closed the door on the face stating that he did not want water from him anymore. The next morning, the water dealer came to us and apologized (We were buying 3 cans of water per week!) to us. And this wretch was taking 5 rupees extra every time when anyone buys water! I have never seen a creature with so much greed.

Revenge is Sweet!

We decided to teach this fellow a lesson before we shifted. We disconnected his cable, tore his wires into pieces and broke the junction box. Next day, 5 people from 5 different flats were screaming at the watchman for the cable. The next night, while we came back from office, we locked his door from outside. He was shouting from inside till the newspaper guy arrived in the morning, who bailed him out. Most of us in the flats did not understand telugu. So everybody thought that this guy was having a fight! We even disconnected his electricity board meter, which caused a great deal of problems for the owner also! He deserved every bit of it and more I thought. When ever we used to find his slippers lying around, me and Mahesh will place a bet of 10 rupees on who will kick the slipper furthest, and each of us will kick his slippers out of the apartment to the buffalo yard or to an open ground outside the apartment. Our neighbor saw that, and to our delight, he joined us! We used to close his water connection and broke his valve so that he had to get a plumber to reopen it. These were the best moments there. We used to hide the empty water cans around the apartment, keeping it on different floors and drive him crazy. He could not trace us at all, as all our missions were carried out at 12 am when we return from office. He always looked suspicious of us, but we did not care. He deserved that! We were not going without a fight. On the last day, after vacating, we bought loads of sand in packets and spilt them on the floor, and really messed up the entire place, so that we wanted to make sure, he does some real cleaning before the next occupant.

Lesson Learnt

One thing what I want to specify here, is that, if anybody has ideas running away from home, please don’t do it. Nothing can be painful as that decision. You will realize the value of home only when you are away from it. I used to tell my mum (whenever we had a fight), that I will go away from her so that she can be happy. In the end, I am and have been very unhappy without her. I regret those words I mentioned to my mum. I came here to pursue my career and I still face many problems. Had she been here, nothing would have affected me!

Home

That’s when we really decided to move out and started to scout for houses again. This time we got a beautiful house in Kondapur, a double bedroom flat, located on the main road. We immediately decided shifted to the house as we had all the facilities around us. Our house contains four portions and the front portion was a grocery and vegetable shop! I was very glad. Just opposite to our house we had a super market and we had a small doctor’s clinic in case of emergency. This is what I call, a perfect house! We were so happy and immediately shifted. When we asked for a servant maid, we had to pay 1000 Rupees to her to wash our clothes! Shocking! We decided to use the laundry facility which was expensive, however not as expensive as the servant maid. The watchman was very un-cooperative here as we did not want him to stay for the next month as we had to pay him a salary. So when we refused, he began to irritate us by not switching the motor. I did not care; I switched it on my own. The switch was right outside our door. He used to sleep right in front of our door, making it difficult for us to get in. When we tried telling him, he did not listen to us. He has to learn the hard way, I thought. So whenever we came back in the night, we used to honk outside the door till he wakes up and then enter the house. We remove our shoes and wash our legs outside ensuring that water flows at our doorstep. He would run and take his mat from being wet and used to go to the corner. Early morning we again open the tap to wash our doorstep, which again ensure that he does not sleep outside the door. At noon, we used to wash our bikes ensuring that he does not sleep till we leave!

So after having everything set, after getting a perfect home, I was very happy for me and Mahesh. We were going to be happy, I thought. We are not going to have anymore problems. I slept contently that night.. This part of my life is what I call as “little” happiness!!

But….

The Next morning at 5 am, I get up cuffing my ears. The noise was unbearable. It was reverberating around the entire house. I felt as if my entire room was trembling. The song of “Allah Ho Akbar” was in such a high decibel that could puncture the ears of anybody around the perimeter of the mosque! I could not even here my own voice! I am sure,, Allah himself will runaway by such a voice. I got up and looked out of my verandah door, only to find a mosque just behind my house, with four loud speakers on each of the four pillars of the mosque! I was flabbergasted.

Just for your information, Muslims pray five times a day……॥

PS - I just want to add that, I am not against any religion. It is just that in such a small locality, so many loudspeakers are not necessary. I request anybody reading this to understand that the problem was with the loud speakers and not the religion. I thank, my best friend, Srini, who has yet again saved me by pointing out this fact.

(Concluded)

SOFFRIRE - Endless Suffering

2007-05-28T22:49:00.000+05:30

Greetings! This little part of my life is what I call as “Suffering”. Well, it’s quite a sad story, however not as sad as Chris Gardner in “The Pursuit of Happiness”. Readers you have to put up with the length of it. I am splitting this into two parts, hopefully towards a better ending!

Relocating

We (Mahesh and I) came back from Chennai to Hyderabad and went straight to our Guest house. As we entered, we received the familiar greeting of the attendant there. We had pretty huge boxes with us. We left them in the reception and asked him to prepare for the check out procedures.

We went back to our ever beautiful room, for the last time. We showered (Individually) and dressed ourselves. All our clothes were packed already. Just a couple of clothes here and there, which was also packed in a jiffy

Before I locked the room, I had a strange feeling which covered me. Suddenly I jumped into the bed one last time and twisted and rolled in the soft cushions. Sat on it for a minute and got up with a heavy heart. I gave one last look at the room and locked it and left. Meanwhile, Mahesh was already checking the bill and talking to the owner, who was a Tamilian. What a pity, I thought. For the past 15 days, I was communicating to that fellow in my broken Hindi, confusing him and myself.

Paisa Dho!

We took an auto and left to “Vishnu’s Landmark” the apartment we were supposed to stay. After a fight with the auto guys who demanded for more money, over the meter, we were above to climb the stairs. That’s when this wretch of a watchman, by name Kumarasamy stepped out from no where and asked “Madam Ya, paisa ya, Madam call kiya” That was the first moment I prided myself. My Hindi was a thousand times better than his. That moment was also one where I realized that I will never be able to communicate to him in anyway.

We were both irritated. We first had a fight with these auto guys, and we have luggage in our hands and this wretch is asking money to be paid, not even allowing us inside the room to keep our luggage. In frustration I put the luggage down and asked Mahesh to go up to the room. I told the wretch that I shall call the owner in front of him and started to dial her number. I spoke to the owner and explained my situation here and told her that I shall give the money in 10 minutes once I load my luggage into the room. She immediately refused. She conveyed that we will be able to enter the house only after we pay the money and disconnected the call. Infuriated beyond words, I sat there, in the middle of the parking area, prying open my suitcase where I had kept money. I took out an advance of Rupees 6000 and gave it to the watchman which had the advance amount and the rent for 10 days.

The watchman asked me to call the owner again in my mobile. He bloody well had a mobile, and he did not want to use that! I was getting really bugged. If looks could kill, not even his ashes would have been present at that moment. This guy had the key to the room we were supposed to say. I suppressed my anger and called the lady again and gave it to the wretch. That wretch was counting the money ten times which again infuriated me. I have never seen such cheapos in my life and I never wanted to see them to, but I was going to be here for a long time. This Guy was talking to her for 10 minutes in rapid Telugu. I was getting infuriated at every passing second, making me wait on the mud and fume.

Zyada Dubbu Dho!

The watchman gave the phone back to me. The lady was still online. She told me that I had to pay Rupees 6075 and she asked me the balance. I was nearly in tears. I had emptied my purse and she still is nagging me for 75 rupees, not letting me go in. Mahesh had come down to see why I was taking a long time to come up. I explained the situation to him. He looked at me with raised eyebrows, took a 100 rupees note from his purse and gave it to the watchman and asked him to get the change. Immediately the wretch asked for another 75 Rupees as for cleaning charges. It seems that we had to give 100 Rupees towards cleaning charges for this room which was like a store room1 I sank on to the floor with hands on my heads. Mahesh looked at me dubiously and turned to the watchman and asked for the key. He insisted on the cleaning charges. Mahesh told him forcefully, to first open and show the room which he did quietly. I lifted my luggage and followed quietly after them.

The Micro Wave

When I first saw the place we had to live, I first thought this was the place where we had to keep our luggage. It was such a small room, just around 300 square foot area. I was shocked. It was a miniature micro wave. It was hotter than hell. Mahesh again looked at me with raised eyebrows. I took my luggage and walked in and dropped them on the floor and sat down. The place was not yet cleaned! And that bloody guy was asking for cleaning charges. That’s when I saw Mahesh asking him to clean the place. I got up and went out watching this guy “cleaning the place”. He was just showing the broom to the floor! God, I thought what on earth is happening to me?

The room had a little place in the corner where our luggage was piled in a row. The Room had space for exactly two of us to lie down with a gap a foot between us. If we get up, we can either go to the restroom or outside. I looked upon the place in disgust. This was our temporary accommodation. Suddenly as I looked near the floors, I saw a huge red line, a foot in breadth, on the four walls, with a 3-D effect. I first thought that it was a design. On closer inspection, I found that it was a army of red ants going to and fro in such an organized manner. I was shocked and surprised at the same time. Shocked to see that I had to live along with a colony of ants and surprised to see how wonderfully they were organized (the ants). I showed Mahesh this and he looked at me with raised eye brows, and I wondered, did Mahesh know “bharatha natyam”, raising eyebrows all the time. He went to call the watchman, only to find him running with our money to the house owner. He came back after two hours and we showed him this line. He again, went back and came after an hour and poured some white cement near the sink, which was apparently the entrance to the great ant fort. He was about to whisk away, that’s when I caught him by his shirt and showed him the lines of ant on the walls. He then looked at me with a look of disgust. I wanted to slap that bastard on his face right at that moment. He took a broomstick and cleared the line half heartedly.

The Food

After he left we went to the nearby hotel to have our breakfast. It was almost 11 am when we went and the sun was scorching us already. We ordered for a Dosa, which came after 30 minutes in a blackish brown color than the usually golden brown color. The chutney was full of groundnuts and the sambhar was masala powder in hot water. I looked at the Dosa before eating, remembering how soft Dosas my mum used to make with tasty chutney and sambhar and I used to grumble about that. My favourite food items used to be Italian items with fancy names, now I really really value my Mum’s Dosa. I really regretted on criticizing my mum s cooking occasionally when it was not good. I slowly eat the thing kept in front of me, wordlessly. We paid our bill and went to buy beddings for us.

Buying the bedding was also a tedious cost. The “Hitech” City as it is fondly called is the most expensive place in Hyderabad. A commodity you get for Rupees 15 in Secunderabad or Kachiguda is around 75 Rupees here. By the way, if you plan to buy from Secunderabad and bring it here, the auto guy would charge anything from 100 to 300 Rupees for the load and you. So we got it from the damn shop. We then went back to our place with the load, again the auto guy charged us heavily for the beddings. I was really loosing my cool as things proceeded.

Back to the Oven!

As I went in to the room at around 1 PM, I felt as if my body was on fire. My heels were hot. I looked down and the floor looked normal. The tile was hot. I was surprised to find the mercury rising every hour here. I put the bed down, and helped Mahesh to unload his pile and we both took out our clothes for the office.

I went into the bathroom to have a bath after all the sweating and "hotness" :D. I tried to bolt the door, only to find that there was no bolt. I would really have found it romantic and erotic, if I were living in with my girl friend or wife (or whichever is sooner!) but I was with a guy! What a fate! However, I got a romantic idea which will be useful in future!

Panic Room

I called Mahesh and asked him to lock the door from out and requested that he does not have any other appointments till I come out of my bath, and also warned him not even to have ideas to peep in. Once the door was locked, I filled a bucket of water and kept it against the door as an intervener. As I opened the shower, I yelped out immediately. The shower iron cap bounced on my head (which had no hair at that time, as I had shaved my head a couple of days back!) and rolled on to the floor and the water was dirty yellow and hot and drenched me! My sacred thread, which I managed to keep in white for such a long time turned yellow! I did not know what it was going to do to my body. I remembered the way, I used to scream at my mom, whenever the water was not ready for my bath that too when I was rushing for college. I repented fully. After a few minutes the water came back to its proper state. I sighed and went about my bath.

"Special Darshan"

I asked Mahesh to unlock the door. There was no response. I banged on the door for 15 minutes. I was suffocating inside this bath room. Mahesh rushed back to my rescue and unlocked it. I presume he was on the phone and had gone out as he had no signal in this room of ours. The toilet was not even proper and the flush did not work. As I took the bucket of water kept against the door and was about to pour the water onto the commode, (As people say, as fate would have it) the door opened, revealing me without a stitch of cloth on me pouring water. Luckily, Mahesh was going out in the opposite direction that he missed the “Special Darshan” I quickly closed the door, wrapped a towel around myself and stepped out.

Deceiving Death!

Got myself dressed and we were about to leave, only then we noticed that there was no window at all! Mahesh and I exchanged dark looks. We knew we had it! Mosquitoes were going to feast on me. He was too thin for the mosquitoes to consider. I decided to get a tortoise coil on the way. We both locked our room and proceeded to office. We were taking the short cut to reach the main road. Just as we turned to a right, we saw a herd of buffalos rushing towards us. For a moment I thought I was going get “Anthakubam” (Killed by running of buffalos over Individuals; courtesy: Anniyan Movie). We cleverly avoided certain death by flattening ourselves against the walls till these creatures went past us. These buffaloes were bigger than the normal buffaloes in Chennai. They had the breadth of an elephant and pointed horns!

I just wanted to get the next flight home; however, I ended up at office and trudged towards the canteen where food was as good as the breakfast in the morning. We ordered for Biryani, which was a mix of white rice and masala powder. We ate in a stony silence.

Road to Home

After office hours, we planned to use a shortcut home. It was very dark. I had actually opted for transport. Since Mahesh had not, I decided to walk back with him. Now both of us were not sure of the route, so we decided to take a risk and trudged into the forest. It was the shortest route home wherein lots of new buildings were under construction. The journey back home was a pure trekking. It reminded me of my Sabari Mala yatra, just that I had “Irumudi” (a holy offering) tied on my head, now I had a bag in hand with huge binders weighing 4 kgs. I switched on the mobile light praying it to guide us back home. Dogs were around us, a few came running at us, few barked us and few were busy with their mates. We armed ourselves with stones, sticks, what ever hard and strong we managed on the road. We went round and round, walking almost till 2 pm. We decided to get to the main road and go by the usual road after our futile search. My legs were paining and it was “brahma-muhurta” time (4 am) when we reached. We just wanted to fall flat.

Cleaning at 2 by 2

The moment we entered the room, we were greeted with a heat wave inside. I opened the door and switched on the fan. Just as I expected, mosquitoes were flying around and just as I have not expected, I forgot to buy the coil. I knew that I am going to never get a good sleep. I unrolled the bed and Mahesh started to jump and curse. As I looked at what was bothering him, I saw cockroaches running out of our beddings. Five of them, I guess it was a family running time. I looked around to see spiders in the corners. I got a broom and swept the family out and Mahesh got rid of the spiders. We then swept the entire place and I was sweeping, I was shocked to see the red ants lining the room again. Tears flowed out from my eyes as I showed it to Mahesh. We swept out the entire walls and mopped with a cloth and then I changed to my night clothes.

The Ant vs The Elephant

As I was about to Lie down, I suddenly felt an excruciating pain all over my body. I could not bear it. I removed my t shirt and found that it was filled with red ants. I was in tears again and a brain wave swept through me which saved me from death by ant bite. The ants cannot match against a >100 kilo weighing human. Immediately I got up and rolled on the floor hoping that my body weight would crush those ruthless creatures into smithereens. My pain did not reduce and was I was almost in agony (Meanwhile Mahesh thought I had gone mad when he saw me rolling on the floor!) He was stunned seeing me writhing and rolling in pain. I quickly got up, and ran into the bathroom, closed the door, and immediately removed all my dresses and turned on the shower. For the first time, cool water poured from the showers. I quickly rubbed my body with soap by then; my wheatish body was glowing red. My body was still burning. I sat under the shower for some long period of time. I closed the shower only to realize that I had not taken a towel, when I rushed in. I hid myself behind the door and slowly peeped out. Mahesh was sleeping blissfully. All his luggage was on top and mine was below which made it convenient for the ants to entire my luggage. I called his name out softly. When he did not respond, I slowly slipped out naked, every cell in my body, praying that Mahesh should not wake up and see me. I m sure he might have a heart attack! My prayers paid off. He tuned to the other side and was snoring. I slowly went near my luggage, rummaged out a towel, and shook it heavily on the floor. Then I tied around my hips and then took out the rest of the dress material in the same format. After checking thrice for signs of ants, I put them on. I took out my body lotion, and applied it all over my body, wherein I was bit by ants. My body was still reddish in color from the ant bites. Red ants are the most powerful variety of ants famous for their sting. I shook my bed sheets, pillows and bed to make sure there are no ants. I looked at the time; it was 6 in the morning. I fell on my bed heavily.

To be continued….

INIZIO – The Beginning

2007-05-25T20:31:00.000+05:30

Prologue:

I dedicate this blog to my mum, to whom I have been the most troublesome child and I sincerely apologize to her for not understanding her at many points in my life. Today, as I sit here and think about what I went thru, I still shudder at the fact that I am still alive and sane. Mom, I apologize for troubling you so much and today I have realized your worth. Had you been here, I would never have been through this. However, I am thankful to God Almighty, for showing me Life’s Realities as I am now ready to face anything. I also take this opportunity to tell my Best Friends Jane, Preeti, Prathiba, Rupini, Shyam (Vivekananda College), Shyam (Ashram), Suresh, Praveen, Pabba and Nive that I miss them to the fullest and especially the first four of you, you girls rock. (Readers, don’t mistake me, I have lots of Girls who are my best friends. I have not yet got a “Girl Friend” yet, actually trying to get one – I can now look forward to few amusing emails and comments and may be few scraps also). I have realized your worth when I sit here and look into the hot empty sky. I still miss you people very much and would love to be with you at every opportunity I get. Thanks all of you, for being there with me. I can never repay you for all that you’ve done.. Thanks

The Story

As I sit here today in the Assembly area of outside my office and watch the beautiful night sky, decorated by stars, happily with their family and friends, a strong feeling of reminiscence grips me reminding me how satisfied I was back in my hometown surrounded by friends, college and social movement (which I despise to the fullest now). Today, I work for a World’s Leading Company, after extinguishing the firey thoughts of entrepreneurship with a mere salary that is required for me to survive in this “Hitec” city of Hyderabad. The city of Hyderabad nevertheless is a beautiful place, which is built by the famous Nizams of the past and a common man’s salary here ranges from a minimum of 7,500 to 75 lakh INR. Yes my friends, my company’s managing partner gets the latter amount as his annual Salary. This city is a place where both, a poor man and a Rich man can enjoy. The more money you spend, the richer comforts you get. You can see the worlds top brand cars, right from a Limo to a Lexus. The Merc, Innova and Skoda are the most frequent cars you might see on the road, while back home in Chennai; you can see Alto, Santro and Scorpio. The fact that remains is that Rich Hyderabad is still a municipal corporation, while Chennai is a Metropolitan City.

I clearly remember, the day when I attended this interview. Feb 14th, Valentines day, when I had to be “bird watching” I was attending interviews with a bearded man, who was going to choose me. I knew I can get thru any interview as long Math was not there as a parameter, and I made certain that I don’t apply to such companies. My interview went on pretty bad good in the beginning, when he asked me to elucidate with proof, every line of my resume. By the end of the first session, I was sure that he was impressed at my well prepared answers. The second session, much to my dislike and his like, he began to question me on the company. The only time I knew about this company, was when they came to administer an online test for us during campus Interview. 20 straight questions, which included the founder of the company, the job profile description and so on and so forth was met with the answer “I will find out, Sir” from my end. As I came out of the VC room, my head was spinning and I decided to go home. I was to receive a feedback from them if they were interested in me.

On Feb 19th as I was compeering for an international event on stage, I felt a sudden shiver around my privates a couple of times. It took me some times to realize that, it was my phone that was disturbing my equilibrium. I switched off my microphone and went over to the backstage to find out, who on earth wanted to get in touch with me so badly. I heard a strong voice on the phone which was the executive manager from Deloitte who wanted to telephonic interview me. My battery suddenly gave up on me and the phone went dead. I rushed to my dearest Gypsy friend and plucked her mobile off her hand promising her to recharge her mobile after a very important call. I called him back and he very magnanimously offered to give me a call back which I accepted readily and happily as that had saved close to 500 INR.

I was sitting right in front of an Idol in a temple which was few hundred kilometers away from my Chennai, while my cell phone rang out the “Variya Song” which caused me a hundred stares from the “devotees” around. I silenced it and attended the call because the number had the Hyderabad code flashed. This time, it was a lady’s voice asking me to join immediately to Deloitte on 26th. I politely told her that I shall be there on 26th March for the induction. She politely told me that I had to come down in another 72 hours. Shocked beyond words, I grumbled a tiny ok and conveyed the news to my mum.
48 hours later, I found myself at the Railway station, armed with two huge suitcases with my parents, Praveen and Mahesh who were there to send me off to Hyderabad. I was overwhelmed with mixed feelings as I said goodbye to my mum and dad and friends. The morning of 25th February, I got down at Hyderabad station with my huge luggage in my hand. I stepped down on to the platform, trying to accept the fact that I was 700 kms away from family and friends and I have come here to begin a new life and my first job. My friend Mahesh was to follow me in some time. So I was first here.

A Costly Beginning

I got down at “Silicon Valley” which was apparently the name of the Guest house where I would be lodged at the cost of the company for 15 days. I paid a whoop some amount of 500 INR to the taxi fella. Few hours later, I was told that 500 INR was twice the fair to reach this place. I was fascinated by the way I was fooled by that man. An expensive lesson learnt. I went into the reception and was waiting for the supervisor to come. A puny looking guy came over to me and requested me to approach the desk. He took out a small book, which was actually a few 100 papers stapled together and I had to read and sign all that. I sat down in despair at the huge book. He politely called for an assistant and asked him to carry my luggage to my room and requested me to hand over the forms during dinner. I smiled and blessed him heartily and left to my room.

As I entered the room, I was surprised. It was a room which befitted a C suite executive. I looked into the email which stated my room number which was the same. It was a room with a refrigerator, telephone, wireless internet, television and two cots. Fully Air-conditioned I woke up, not knowing whether it was day or night. The curtains hid the sky before me. All I knew was my stomach was growling in hunger and the last thing I remembered was falling on the bed. I dragged myself out of the bed and walked into the restroom. I turned the knob to fill water in a bucket; instead cold water rained heavily on me drenching me from head to foot. I was stunned and almost slipped. I knew there was no use grumbling, so I decided to continue my shower in the icy cold water. After what seemed to be hours, after scrubbing myself clean, I stepped out of the shower and changed into night clothes and opened the curtains. It was a wonderful star lit eve. I looked at the sky and the stars and was about to admire the beauty, when my stomach growled again. I approached the menu book which was kept on a desk. My eyes almost popped out. A set of Puris costs 75 INR. I have to rob the RBI to spend money on a tiny little Puri. I decided to take a walk and get a new sin for my phone. I went up to the dining area, ordered a coffee and started working on the signing of the forms.

A beautiful evening, I thought as I walked out of my guest house to the road beyond. I surmised that it would be this way everyday. I went in to the first mobile shop near me and paid for the connection. Did I tell you that the concept of Service marketing never existed in Hyderabad?? I must tell you, these blokes here do not know what that term mean. Terrible. In Chennai, most of the shop I go, I have always been treated like a King. I was always offered first preference and some times, Snacks..

15 days, heavenly. I was enjoying my “executive” status accommodation at the guest house. I loved every moment of it. The only problem I faced was arguing with the auto wallas, who thought that every guy going and coming out of the “Hitec” city was a millionaire. In all these 15 days, I had food and beverages served at my beck and call. My clothes neatly washed and ironed, including my under garments. I never expected that. It happened on the second day. I got up late and rushed to the office as it was my first day at office (Second day in Hyderabad). I almost tore down my entire room into sixes and sevens. As I entered after a rigorous day of direct process training, I was worrying about the way I left my room. The moment I opened the door, I was stupefied. My room was spick and span. My suitcase neatly lodged into the cupboards. My dresses neatly washed and ironed were lying in a neat pile on my bed. My charger was taken and the wire was wound neatly. My towels, sheets and pillow covers changed. I was impressed and happy to note that at least Deloitte knew what Service Marketing was.

The Pursuit of Happyness

Two events that I look forwarded to when in Hyderabad:
The first is that, my Best Friend, philosopher and guide – Srini, as I call him dearly, was there in Hyderabad pursuing his Masters in Linguistics in Hyderabad. He was one consolation for me and I was very excited about the very thought of meeting him (To know more about him, please read “Defeat’s Match”) and I had an occasion to celebrate.. It was his birthday. I was very happy and the whole day, I was full of smiles on the thought of meeting him. As soon as the training got over, I rushed out like a mad man to the get a train to Kachiguda, a rendezvous we had decided. The moment I saw him, I hugged him and wished him a simple happy birthday and we started walking to find a place to feed our stomach. I let him to guide me as he was a senior to me in this city. We had a great evening.. Seriously, I never anticipated that I will be meeting him at Hyderabad. And the food at this part of the city was toooo Good and economical. We had a good dinner and I went trudging back to my Suite.

The second was the arrival of Mahesh. I was glad that there was another guy, my friend who is going to suffer with me. So I was not alone. He came on the 12th of March after a great war between him and the HR who dispatched his appointment letter. I went to collect him at the Airport (A Rich Guy.) and brought him to my guest house where he was also to stay and took him to the Room allotted to me. He took the other cot and we both are together as of date since then. It was fun to be with him, seeing him getting bugged with the people here. Wonderful. These were the happiest days in Hyderabad.

The next part is where I understood what life is. Do read it. And your comments please??

P.S. My Best friend Srini is already here in Hyderabad. I meet him once intwo weeks minimum! Thanks Srini, You re always there when i need you..

The Mistaken Silence Within

2007-04-25T21:19:00.000+05:30

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT:

I have obtained the copyrights for this title of my blog, which belongs to my best friend and mentor's whose blog profile is "The Mistaken Silence Within". I express my gratitude and thank him for his philanthropic act of giving away his title to me.

Ref: Please check my scrapbook in orkut. Scrap No. 296 & 297 as proof of the same.

Legal Disclaimer

I will not be held responsible for any resemblance to any events, people, institute and happenings mentioned below, as they are purely coincidental.

I realize the fact that I have been very self-fish about this. However, I feel I deserve being self-fish of this incident because, this award was supposed to belong to me.

The road of life before me is still uncertain and distant if I go with it alone. I dare not take a chance if I long to go safely home. I'll embrace the Holy Spirit, if it may light my way and, as usual, prepare me to endure the obstacles along the way or helping me by lifting the burdens from my path, so that I will not stray.

I'll just keep stepping, one step after another, and another... keep stepping. I must resign to the promises of worldly rewards and the promises of man, since both man and this world will fail me. I hope that at least the Holy Spirit would have prepared a place for me just as it has promised, when it sent me to the earth.

As I sit here.... I sit here and stare blankly into the muted view in front of me; my mind turns numb as confusion is amplified like background noise that I can't tune out of my head.

I wonder, I wallow, and I wish... my mind keeps spinning the same melody. If my life's not a failure... when do I start winning? The struggle of this taunting... clouds my thoughts and bruises my will. It's hard to be content and to sit still in a place of despair and defeat.

Lonely, hurt and broken I remain residing in hell, living in pain... Masked by lies, I slowly fade away... The nightmare I live with, each and every day. The meaning of it all, to which my mind attends, has not one answer that I fully comprehend... The bottom of my mind holds the answers which I call and I keep reaching towards it in this never-ending fall...

"Stay strong and keep going.. It's never too late"... I hear a feeble voice in the back of my head. No one seems to realize that it's not worth the wait. There's no such thing as help outside of your mind, it's you against yourself with your demons intertwined. It's a battle, hard fought but never to be won... Either way I ended up losing when it's all said and done. "Too late" came and passed... and they said "You have loads to achieve than this" they all said, but what's the point in trying when you're already dead?

My college is cunning and thrives on self doubt. It is the master at driving confidence out from my soul. It is the stealer of hope, and the weight of a heavy load. It is the author of confusion and the master of deception. I will never step into it again... to do so is to forfeit the game and face eternity with no end to the pain for this mortal core. However it has failed to steal and break my courage. That’s one thing I will never give up. Try hard as it may.. It will never take my courage from me. My Courage is not built by myself alone. It is a combination built with love, enormous strength and powerful support derived from the most powerful sources known to the universe – Family & Friends. It will never be able to get thru that.

As I sit there in the famed auditorium, watching, with red eyes and a fragile heart, the award, I was supposed to own, being lifted by another. My heart split into infinite pieces as the recipient received the award gracefully and posed for the photograph with my jewel. I looked into the face of the Local head of the Institute, who was smiling cunningly as the recipient received the award, which I was supposed to boast about. I have flown over 800 kilometers in a hurry and anticipation only to be insulted and disgraced by the Institute that has extracted participation, leadership and work from me in every possible way till I am left without anything. I stood up for the Institute, for its glory. I stood there supporting it along with my friends. I stood there leading the activities. I stood there directing people. Now I sat here, being ignored.

What pained me the most is that, people who have not performed, won various other awards!! People who performed have also been awarded. But me? I committed, I planned, I performed, I delivered and I succeeded. Why is the honor that belongs to me by performance, by right, not given to me?

The Head of the Institute used to say that, “Institute is above Individuals”, I never realized that he meant that he could do what he wanted and willed. He had the Influence. There are two parts to influence. First, influence is powerful, and second, it is subtle. I wouldn't let him push me off course, but he nudged me off course and I did not realize it. Shame on me, I thought. I should have followed the path of my seniors, who scared the pee out of him and his pants. He would not dare to walk in front of them.. Let alone talk. He would ask them in any decision.

My seniors controlled him, by means of aggression and he responded by worshipping them. Aggression is not the way of Life. Pitifully, in my Institute, it is the way to live. My set of seniors walked in like a pride of lions, when they walked in, their opponents, scampered out of the way like a herd of cunning jackal’s, taking to its heels, when a pride of angry lions barged in. These Lions kept their opponents at bay. Whenever they put a step out of line, they were brutally forced backwards to be in Line. Occasionally, they got out of control, but these Lions put them back right in their places.

I have been a peace loving person and a staunch follower of Mahathma Gandhiji’s principles of Ahimsa (Non Violence) and Satya (Truth). I have never by thought word or deeds have hurt any one intentionally. I allowed people to take control of my life. I was a pure performer. My whole body and mind was attuned and made for the same. I stood firmly with the white flag, and made sure that I sorted all issues by means of talks. In the process I have earned the name of coward, branded on me. I realized that in this millennium, that is going to do no good. I quote here, a mail I sent a few months back.

I let others lead small lives, but not me. I let others argue over small things, but not me. I let others cry over small hurts, but not me. I let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not me. My college gave me great opportunities. I identified them and grabbed them and achieved them. Sadly, in my Institute you shall attain awards only by pure deceit.

I would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means. Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary.

You stabbed me in the back and so many people know. I don’t understand why you do such things to me and I never want to know, I trusted you and was loyal to you in my time with you. But I was wrong all along about you. So this is my good bye to you.. Forever and so long!

Just one more thing…

Pray with your heart and soul, that I don’t become an influential and powerful man in the Society..

IF I DO..

That, will be the END of YOU..

Defeat's Match

2007-04-23T16:43:00.000+05:30

"You have faced defeats and crumbled down to it, after which you aim your arrow well to achieve success by learning from your mistakes. Me, on the other hand, have stood strong in the face of defeat and took it on my shoulders, not letting it get to me. I accept defeat and I walk out with honor and with my head held high. That my friend is the difference between you and me."

I sat there, sipping my insecticide (Pepsi - You Know), 750 miles from home and was recovering myself to understand what this little bearded man who was sitting right in front of me, like a Lion looking at its prey, having cornered me in a conversation. He looked at me with an amused look and a straight composure, with his eyes gleaming with powerful confidence and radiating pure power and majesty. I was totally confused. Is this guy the one whom I thought was a rock with no feelings for emotion? Man, I was dead wrong. This guy here, was such a strong man, who knows to control his life and way of living and thinking and damn, he can control his feelings as well!!

All Men & Women face defeat. Something that is certain other than change is defeat. There is not a person, who has never been defeated in anything. I would say that no matter what, defeat is what makes one strong.
The Point: The guy, I am now going to talk about is one of the very first guy, who has stood victorious by not letting defeat conquer him. Even in the face of defeat, he stood there as consistent as he is and walked out, infuriating the defeat by not letting it conquering him, and infuriating it. How much ever defeat tries, he becomes stronger than before and consistent as ever..

(To be continued...)

PS - I am sure our hero won’t accept on what I am going to tell about him. Nevertheless.. It is true. So Mr Hero, don't bother by telling what I am about to tell is not true and all. Comment on issues and not the concept. I am sure those who know you will accept to what I say :)

Night Conversations - An Eye Opener

2007-04-10T21:54:00.000+05:30

Hi all. I am sure most of you who know me would be waiting for this post to be completed. Especially the guy I am writing about. For those of you who don't know me, I assure, I am very much straight guy. You might be wondering why this bloke is talking like this. Well I did manage to freak out a lovely lady who happened to read this blog.

Hey lovely lady, am sorry for scaring you by the opening. But read the full blog before you judge me... And do post your comments also.. I should also warn you that it is not going to be one of my usual ones. this is just to prove that I am usually unusual. And don't ask me the meaning of that, cause I don't know..

Disclaimer:

Well, this is going to be a bit Philosophical, not much of comical episode. Dont tell me that I did not warn you.

"Aunt" she screamed.. "He has gone mad, I assure you.. He is very desperate.. get him married as early as possible, before he does some thing crazy" My mother never expected such a statement from my cousin (sister) who had come to my home for a break over her work-a-holic schedule.. My mum looked at her with a questioning look.. My sister replied "He was talking to a guy yesterday, the whole night!! Not even Ashok (her guy) has spoke to me like that"
That's not my ruddy problem, I thought...

Whenever I think of my cousin's words, I always think. What is wrong when two guys talk to each other for a long time over the telephones. If we guys talk to girls, the people around (especially our local mamus and machan s or machi's as they are fondly called) say "Enama kadala podran paren.. Varuthu varuthu podran da.. Thangala.." Now don't try to understand the logic of what I have stated above, as I don't understand that myself. So why the hell cant people accept the fact when two guys speak? I m sure you will accept my words as you finish reading this blog about me and this friend of mine.

Now this chap, (the hero of this blog shall be referred to as "chap" from now) whom I was speaking about was a common friend of my friend. It all started like this. "My friend was running to me very excitedly and gave me the phone and said, my friend is on the phone, why don't you talk to him? I looked at my friend and politely refused. It happened for a couple of days and then this chap, was keen to know who I was. So the next time my friend insisted that it was least decency that I should talk to him. I wondered at my friend. Why on earth should I talk to a friend of a friend? I decided to talk this chap not able to bear my friend's endless droning and compulsion.

So, I was very skeptical as I was talking to this chap here. I am not the guy, who just opens out to every body immediately. I surely will be able to relate to them, but I will take sometime to open up before I bond with them on personal basis.
As usual, I was very "gentlemanly" to that chap and sported my formal and very professional attitude to him. I guess that this chap was quite bugged by my approach and hey, by the way did I mention that he was a Saggi too? Well, Saggi's you see are extremists and I was formal to the extreme. My friend next to me, poked me in the ribs and mouthed me not to be so formal.. Ruddy Duddy hell, i thought. I was supposed to speaking to a friend's friend and they want me to fondle and cuddle over him? Nonsense, I thought. I am a straight one.
On the way back from our college, my friend and my friend's ever trusted accomplice as usual teamed together and ridiculed me of being formal. I was getting agitated as I started to upgrade my defence mechanism towards these sentinels.

As I walked back home, I was surprised that I could feel anger licking my sides and growing strong towards these sentinels. My friends here often misinterpret my attitude, and think the relationship, is more serious than it really is. They don’t realize that I don’t have a sense of attachment to people whom I don’t know, and have no qualms in breaking free.

They challenged a Sagittarius. The fiery and the most powerful Sun Sign known to the entire Universe. I decided that they must pay for what they did. They did not know what hit them. As they say, there is a silence before a storm, a storm was being formed in my gigantic big basket (generally known as stomach), that is going to rip these people apart and prove them that I am a charmer (a straight one, however), with the gift of the gab. My gab is always local and understandable and not too high funda or scientific like my gypsy friend and her counterpart - "the encounter-ess" of the "A close Encounter" fame or the "heroine" of the "A pleasant Interlude".

I then managed to get this chap's number from my friend and then decided to talk to him in the night. As usual, my parents retired to their bedrooms to catch their 1400 winks. Astrologically, I saw that it was a good day to talk to a new person, courtesy: Jaya TV - Kalai Malar.

My insides turned to ice as I slowly read the number. A voice in the back of my head told me to listen to the voice in the front of my head. Totally confused, I closed my eyes and started to meditate to attain the state of calmness. I entered the deep world of calmness, every thing around me was so silent. I felt the phone receiver dissolve from my hand. I had a feeling that my hands broke free of the chains that locked my hands. I felt as if I had downed a pitcher full of undiluted Royal Challenge Whisky and I could feel my sinew getting rejuvenated with blood flowed through every nerve of mine. I could feel myself grow strong and powerful. I never felt such a sense of power flowing in my body, and automatically I could feel my upper torso rising. Wow.. I thought. Have I finally mastered the art of going against gravity?

I heard a sudden sound of explosion and a terrible pain on my face. As I opened my eyes, I saw my father standing beside me, holding me by my scruff with his hand raised. That's when I realised where that explosion came from and the fact that the next Explosion was on its way. I quickly maneuvered back missing the explosion by a second and looked at him reproachfully. That earned me a couple of more explosions and tears welled up in my eyes. I asked him in a small voice, the reason he slapped me. That's when he pointed to my right where I saw my dinner sprinkled everywhere and spilt all around and the telephone receiver was immersed in a tumbler of milk and water was spilt across the floor (I took some 20 minutes to convince and prove my dad that it was water that was spilt around not the hot fluid liquid from the human body). It was 7 o clock already and I had to get to my college bus at about 7.20 am to get decent seats for me and my friends. My dad stood at the doorway with the broom in hand not permitting me till i told him that my bladder was on the verge of bursting. I rushed to the washroom, and finished of all related activities and came back and hurriedly cleared up the entire mess.

I quickly poured a scoop of dettol into a bucket of cold water and poured the entire bucket of water on my head and rushed out of the washroom only to notice my dad having a menacing stare at me. Some thing in my head told me to look down on me. As I looked down, my heart sank some 20000 feet.

In the hurry, I had forgotten to wrap myself with a towel after my bath. Embarrassed beyond words, I rushed back to the bathroom to get the towel and wishing that my day should not get any worse. I hardly finished praying, when I noticed that my legs was going against gravity in the air. I landed in a sickening crash on the bathroom floor waking up the entire neighbour hood with my loud trumpeting of agony. I closed my eyes resigning to the fact that I will never be able to catch the bus in time. I slowly got up and and noticed that the towel had again slipped from my torso. I walked out limping to find my father laughing his head off.

I rushed to my mobile and called my friend (lovingly called as "Masala"). Idiot, I thought about him as he was not picking the phone when i needed him the most. I called him once more thinking that he might have been "nut - putting" (i.e., kadala podarathu- for those of you who dont know what "kadala podarathu" means - talking to girls - a tamil local slang) and when he picked the call at last, I sighed a huge sense of relief, and not even permitting him to say hello, I rambled on telling him to make the bus wait for me. To my utter surprise, he started scolding me for waking him up early on a sunday morning and then he began to use words that made my cute big ears bleed profusely.

I took my mobile away from my ears and stared at it and pressed the disconnect button as hard as possible and threw my phone away in disgust. So much for a fiery powerful unconquerable Saggittarian storm, I thought. I then decided that it was a bad omen to talk to him again. The rest of the day passed without much interesting activity. I came back home late from a rotaract meeting and went to sleep properly on my bed.

Mondays. I hate Mondays. I got up as usual to my stupid alarm of "Mangal pandey song" and got ready as usual. As soon as the sentinels arrived, the same story. Ridiculing me. The "bad omen" thing vanished from my memory replacing it with thoughts of how to get rid of these sentinels, when considering what happened to me yesterday..

But then Saggi s don't give up easily. Nothing can with hold them or control them. I decided to take one more risk and planned to speak to him. In the afternoon, while my friend was talking, I took the receiver from my friend and told this chap that i d call him today night and fixed an appointment with him.

That night, I had my dinner properly with my parents and after they retired, with least hesistation, i was going to call a chap who was like a weakling to me. The phone began to ring. it was exactly 10 pm when I called. A masculine voice similar to mine sounded from the other end of the phone. My first thought was that, I thought my voice was reverberating and echoing. But then the modulation was very different than mine. It was way too soothing, mine is more gruff and rough voice. I liked this voice I thought. Why did i notice notice this earlier? I slowly told my name to him hoping that he would not recollect my name. A sudden burst of energy and enthu from the other side. A voice which immediately put me at such ease. I did not feel that I was talking to a stranger at all. I slowly started talking to him, creating stories and jokes on the way by adding my life's experience with the beginning of how I was with computers and slowly it went on and on. We talked about zodiac and marketing and IT and computers. The topic slowly touched upon relationships.

Strangely, I was feeling very comfortable with him talking about my relationship to a fellow whom I had never met. Strange. I thought. I wanted to stop badly, not divulging all this information on the first call. But this chap seemed to pluck stories from my brain. We went on and on. We spoke about each others family and then rattled of stories about our common friend. I then looked at the clock. It was almost 3 am. 5 Hours.. 300 Rupees.. God, I thought my dad will kill me if he knew that I was on the phone. Thank God we did not have an intercom on this particular phone (That's the main reason I chose this phone though) But by the beginning of the morning, every word of our conversation was worth the rupee. We both laughed at the fact that we both will have been the first guys breaking the golden rule "Phone calls between two guys are always less than a minute".

I was happy to note that our conversation was so good that we did not bore each other and my skills had actually impressed him and made an impact on him. So was his. The next morning, in the bus, as my friend was talking to this chap, I took the phone and said hi and just to show off to these sentinels, I recollected what we spoke yesterday. As usual both these sentinels portrayed no reaction on their faces. i did not care. My ultimate aim was to impress the other guy and I did it. That's what mattered. We slowly began to talk often almost every night. We used to speak about everything on earth, our experiences, our relationships and at that time was one setback I was facing and he was helping me out of my setback. He looked upon me as his younger brother (Fact remains the same that I will look like his elder brother, when we stand together, due to my huge body mass index)

Every night we spoke and on one such night this cousin of mine noticed this episode. That's when the marrying off part came into picture. As I kept talking to this chap I found that he gave me solutions to all of life's problems, doubts and fears when I needed them the most. He helped me to search for answers when I did not know them. He could not change my past which was filled with heartache and pain. But I knew that he was there to care. He told me that he cannot share my joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness that were not his; yet he promised me, that he can share my laughter. He did not tell me to make my decisions in my life, nor did he judge it; He stood silently, by supporting me and encouraging me to go on. He promised to help me when I was in need. He told me that he can’t keep my heart from breaking and hurting, but he tried to help me pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I have never seen another guy like him before. He taught me to appreciate myself by allowing me to grow with the opportunities and find my true sense of purpose in this life.

After all these conversations I realized that there comes a time when you must stand alone. You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams. You must be willing to make sacrifices. You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved. Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged. There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities. There are times where you must be strong enough to at least try to make your life better. There are times you should be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by. Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.

It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want. Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we need to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.
I realized that everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, LOVE, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. If someone hurts you, betrays you , or breaks you heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them. Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

Looking at what I learnt with conversations from this Guy. I looked at life in a new direction. My set back slowly disappearing. I realized my stupidity. My ego vanishing slowly. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. I still correspond to this chap frequently. He is like a pillar of support to me for reaching to the top. I express my gratitude to him for giving me a chance in knowing more about life. As I end my blog here, I still find that he was one Guy who impressed me and though there are no more night conversations.. I know he is there.....

I hope you now understand that how inspiring this guy was and how much I have learnt from him. Its only from unexpected people you learn so many things. So have I. The end line is, when there is a guy to guy conversation, it will be filled with fun, mixed with betterment of life..

Now readers.. Your comments please...

P.S. Srini I hope my spellings have improved??